Hello, newly diagnosed and struggling a bit....

[theporgsnest]

Hello, I hope you enjoy your stay here

I empathize strongly with what you've written - in fact it's more or less how I may have worded things as well (the only difference is I was diagnosed as a child yet still grappling with my identity in this world. It seems like you feel your new-found diagnosis is bit of a double-edged sword - it has provided comfort as an explanation for thing you didn't understand the reasoning for beforehand, and yet comes with frustration as a result of the insight we often have because of the 'middle ground' (your point about often wanting to be more severely autistic or just not have it full-stop really resonates with me as I have both thought and said it so many times I have lost count.) I found comfort in places like these because although I may not have it in my family nor in person, others do understand. And I really hope you can as well. We're in this together.

 

[Au Naturel]

"You're not autistic, you're just a dork." I have heard that a few times.

People think if you aren't Rain Man or the kid in special ed class who beats his head on the wall - or at least Sheldon Cooper - you really don't have a problem.

Well, the truth of it is we do and it is a lifelong struggle to accommodate the rest of the neurotypical world. My diagnosis confirmed my belief that I wasn't just slacking off or making bad decisions or wimping out about things other people easily handle.

If anything, the diagnosis alleviated any guilt I might have been feeling about not trying hard enough. Things really are harder for me, some things are damned near impossible for me. And that is just how it is.

 

[Bolletje]

Hello Bolletje,
Everyone's journey is a little different, and I realize that what worked for you may not necessarily work for me. But, how did you work out what you could/couldn't do and how to arrange your life around that? I ask because, as I am going through my diagnosis and looking back at my life so far, I am realizing that much of the changes that I have had to make in the past were mostly to accommodate others and not necessarily what I wanted to do/participate in. How difficult was it for you to take stock of your life and figure out what was truly you and what was the mask you put on to exist in a neurotypical world?

Oh, I'm still trying to figure out who I truly am. Don't think I'll ever be done with that. As for trying to figure out what I can and can't do, the answer is pretty boring: I made lists. Just thinking back on previous jobs and social situations and listing things that went well and things I struggled with. I try to apply what I've learned about that to future situations.

Previously I chose my jobs based on my intellectual capabilities. I've since learned that my ASD makes a lot of jobs I'm perfectly capable of intellectually really hard to do. I've struggled a lot trying to hang on to these jobs because they were part of my dream, but in the end I had to decide to do the smart thing and find something doesn't put me through the wringer on a daily basis. Through trial and error I've narrowed down what suits me and I've now started a new job that seems to tick a lot of boxes for the Aspie in me.

I'm a medical doctor. I started out my medical career working on hospital wards and doing ER shifts. I took some detours, but the job I've arrived at now has me analyzing patient records and lab results and adjusting their medication for optimal therapeutic effect. No face to face contact with patients, no emergencies, no bleeping machinery. Just me in a quiet office doing what I like with very few interruptions.

What also helped is that I stopped trying to force myself to fit the picture of what I believe society expected of me. It's been incredibly liberating to be able to honestly tell my friends "I'm sorry, I'm not going to be at your party tonight because the amount of unknown people is already giving me anxiety". They don't always like it, but I get something out of it, which is peace.

 

[MrSpock]

No face to face contact with patients, no emergencies, no bleeping machinery.

First thought - "Wow, she really doesn't like machinery!" Then I realized, she literally means machinery that goes 'bleep'. Similar to the machine that goes 'ping' in The Meaning of Life I suppose.

 

[Bolletje]

First thought - "Wow, she really doesn't like machinery!" Then I realized, she literally means machinery that goes 'bleep'. Similar to the machine that goes 'ping' in The Meaning of Life I suppose.

Hahaha, I could handle the machine that goes ‘ping’. I also love your interpretation of my words, it’s a lot funnier than I intended. Anyway, yeah, hospital wards are a cacophony of beeping, booping, ringing and other intrusive sounds electronic devices make. And that’s not even counting how loud patients can be.

 

[looking for community]

Hahaha, I could handle the machine that goes ‘ping’. I also love your interpretation of my words, it’s a lot funnier than I intended. Anyway, yeah, hospital wards are a cacophony of beeping, booping, ringing and other intrusive sounds electronic devices make. And that’s not even counting how loud patients can be.

Thank you so much for your previous words. What you had to say really helped.
I have worked in hospitals for the last 10 years and they can be quite noisy places. My current hospital is no exception. However, one product that I have found helps me out are the Vibes earplugs. They help me out in reducing the overall noise to where its tolerable (not always great, some people I work with think yelling is the best mode of communication), but I can still hear what I need to in order to do my job while reducing the noise to a tolerable level.