Hello

[hannahhannah]

I'm glad you found the strength to get better. The thing is, dangerous observations from those we are meant to trust can lead to severe consequences. An anorexic person being told they don't have have condition can go on to "prove" the person wrong, getting worse because in their head suddenly they're "not anorexic enough" ... if you know what I mean. That is why it can be life threatening. Same with depression, being told someone isn't "depressed enough" to need help can just cause awfulness.
As for me, I'm still alive and I think getting the AS diagnosis made things better in some sense, it put things into perspective. We keep living, learning and moving forward! Like you, I'm alone most of the time, making and especially keeping friends is still a mystery that I haven't quite solved yet though, but maybe one day?

That is a very good point I haven't thought of....

yeah, for me it also put things into perspective... I think most importantly, that it's not all my fault. It's a mystery for me too... I wish I were that optimistic. I always thought it will change, but now I'm in my thirties and it still hasn't change... The funny thing is, I don't even want many friends, I just sometimes wish I had a "bestie". Maybe that's why I have my dog. she's always there, just the conversations are somewhat one-sided

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[TempeFan]

Yes, we certainly do understand your struggles because most of us have been dealing with the same struggles for years, for decades and some of us for over half a century. Whining is allowed here but not really necessary because we usually spend our time on the forum exchanging ideas, asking for and getting and giving information and support, pooling what we've learned from our experiences to help each other deal with the issues that plague us, and sharing our stories, our laughter, our tears, our hobbies, our favorite quotes and lots of music videos.

 

[Thinx]

Welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here, plenty of neurodiversity knowledge, experience and understanding here. Yes I think a lot of us have experienced that aha so that's the explanation moment, followed by an, oh no, I m doomed kind of feeling.... it's a roller coaster ride being non neurotypical or indeed in any kind of minority group, in my experience. The weight of the lack of understanding of the majority is oppressive. However there's lots of us here and that may usefully counteract negative stereotypes.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

Welcome! I'm new too, to the forum and to being diagnosed.
Tbh this forum feels like it is going to be a much bigger help than the diagnosis (from an NT person after about an hour of assessment lol) anyway so I am sure you came to the right place!

 

[WittyAspie]

Welcome Hannah! I struggle to make and keep friends as well. However, through this site I have befriended a couple of amazing people. I talk to (usually text) them everyday. I have found that fellow aspies make the best friends.

 

[Monachopia]

That is a very good point I haven't thought of....

yeah, for me it also put things into perspective... I think most importantly, that it's not all my fault. It's a mystery for me too... I wish I were that optimistic. I always thought it will change, but now I'm in my thirties and it still hasn't change... The funny thing is, I don't even want many friends, I just sometimes wish I had a "bestie". Maybe that's why I have my dog. she's always there, just the conversations are somewhat one-sided

It's not your fault at all! Even though the diagnosis is scary at first, it does help somewhat. It doesn't change anything per se, but we cope better by understanding what the problem is and lessening things that induce unnecessary stress.
Haha, I'm not that optimistic, I wish I had a "bestie" too. I have my partner though, he's a wonderful person and puts up with me But sometimes, I do wish I had a friend to have a different perspective on things. I'm in my thirties too, it seems harder and harder to make friends with age somehow. I guess I'll just end up chasing my cats around for company until I'm old and grey...

 

[hannahhannah]

Welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here, plenty of neurodiversity knowledge, experience and understanding here. Yes I think a lot of us have experienced that aha so that's the explanation moment, followed by an, oh no, I m doomed kind of feeling.... it's a roller coaster ride being non neurotypical or indeed in any kind of minority group, in my experience. The weight of the lack of understanding of the majority is oppressive. However there's lots of us here and that may usefully counteract negative stereotypes.

Welcome Hannah! I struggle to make and keep friends as well. However, through this site I have befriended a couple of amazing people. I talk to (usually text) them everyday. I have found that fellow aspies make the best friends.

That's probably true... Looks like I need an Aspie guy too Maybe he wouldn't label me "crazy" within 2 weeks of dating... But yeah, some friends who understand would be plenty for now...

 

[hannahhannah]

It's not your fault at all! Even though the diagnosis is scary at first, it does help somewhat. It doesn't change anything per se, but we cope better by understanding what the problem is and lessening things that induce unnecessary stress.
Haha, I'm not that optimistic, I wish I had a "bestie" too. I have my partner though, he's a wonderful person and puts up with me But sometimes, I do wish I had a friend to have a different perspective on things. I'm in my thirties too, it seems harder and harder to make friends with age somehow. I guess I'll just end up chasing my cats around for company until I'm old and grey...

I hope eventually it will make things better, but these last couple of days I was more in the "I'm doomed" kind of mood and it feels like I get stressed even easier.
yeah a partner doesn't always 9I actually think never) really replace a close girl girlfriend. But at least you manage to have a relationship. Mine always break pretty fast. (My longest was 1.5 years and it was a nightmare) I do hope that maybe that will get better now that I know what is going on with me because i think maybe ifI can communicate it a guy will be willing to 'take more" and also we can both learn how to handle me and he will actually take tips I give him more seriously as he can't just label me "crazy"... Time will show
It does become harder, I agree. I think also because everybody has their friends and social networks and isn't that inclined to add people anymore (at least in my experience).
I'm the same with Luna (my pooch). I think I'll become a crazy old dog lady. (Hopefully I'll also have made a ton of good scientific contributions in my field)

 

[Anonym]

Yes, welcome!

Also...

For example when I read a book I I have an image of the place, the environment, maybe even the clothes of people, but never their faces.

Me too! No faces, but everything else in exquisite detail. My art reflects this too, always these odd, blank faces with big, empty eyes.

And @Suzanne we would definitely miss you. I started out completely terrified that I’d be told I had it wrong and that I’d be too embarrassed to maintain a place in the autism community. No official piece of paper yet and I’m pretty sure my shrink agrees with me (statements like “that’s an Aspergers trait”) but without him explicitly stating “yes, you have Aspergers” it’s hard to know what he actually thinks (trouble reading between the lines anyone? )(lol it seems like an obvious agreement when I read it like that, but I need a direct and clear statement that leaves no room for interpretation). I’ve arrived at a stage where I’m still nervous about his final answer, but mostly because I fear the confrontation that would result (“No, sir. You’re wrong!”) and having to start the process over. I’m lucky to have enough of a defiant streak to balance my self doubt.

@hannahhannah, I’ve also been going through a plethora of complicated emotions in response to this revelation, but ultimately it’s been a comfort. For example, I’m not going to finally figure out how not to be a social dunce, which kind of sucks, but at least I know why and can find humor in it sometimes now. This journey has not been without sadness or fear, but the dawning clarity and understanding has helped me feel a lot less lost and this community has been instrumental to that peace of mind.