Hello :)

[Sarah S]

hehehe I understand! I struggle with phonecalls for some reason, and I struggle seeing people other than my Mum recently ..

I think people talk too fast and too much, I learnt how to cope until I stopped being able to and my boss asked me to take some time off, assuring me I'd keep my position. I didn't know I was autistic at that point, just 'quirky' was the word I always heard. I sometimes understand how people feel, but sometimes I am wrong.

I think it's only because I worry I am annoying people, etc. As I have no frame of reference to understand otherwise. Unless I was not myself.

hahaha. I do think I can read people quite well, perhaps it's being pessimistic and overthinking, I often think eveyone views me as I do myself etc, since that is how I am.I am going off topic, sorry, I suppose I feel too comfortable already. Thank you

From what i have being able to read about our shared diagnose it seems to be common factor with both phones (never been a problem for me tho other then talking WAY to mush and i NOT good at small talk ) and talking to strangers (i have that too tho =Lone wolf ) and again i NOT good at the so called art of small conversation

Yes well i can relate to that as im also have Severe ADHD (ASD is Mild ) me i dident know i was until my latest evaluation ( 20010 ) but i have had this from birth as well Oh i have NEVER been regarded as anything other then quirky strange not fitting in anywhere since birth so believe me i understand . same as with me then id say

Could be yes

Well as i said i can somehow easily go in to other peoples mind and think like them and understand them and so on BUT not when its reg my life then i CONSTANTLY misread and mess it al up so i have to ask (usely MY RL DEAR friend Older then me and i actually helped him a while back when he was in a bad state ) ( Giggles ) NO problems im the same dear so talk away hon were al here ready to listen (read )

 

[Joon87]

You're no inconvenience Joon. That was a simple question to answer. We get much more complex questions here. This is a community of people learning to understand both themselves and a strange world around them. How to post quotes is straightforward compared to most other questions....
I hope you continue to feel comfortable here. "Quirky" is something we often hear when NT people are trying to be positive, along with "eccentric". There are much less kind terms used too, but I'm happy being quirky

Yes! (now I know how to quote I am clearly abusing it ) I think 'quirky' is said because I am outwardly positive, so quirky is the word they want to say, perhaps I seem too positive, when I am not. It's tiring! I never minded though, I just don't like 'weird' which was said a lot. But I am not so bothered now. I have been off work for 2 years so I was incorrect about my diagnosis date, as I said before. It was actually June 2017 and a very quick process for me. I attended a trial type autism group for a few months also, it was ok but info overload.
I appreciate all the nice responses. I'd love to participate, but I am not very clever hahaha. I usually only repeat myself, in various different ways of saying the same thing 100 times. I noticed I do that. I hope to learn here how to better communicate, since I probably wont feel as nervous soon. I want to talk to people on here, so that I can understand myself and be helpful to others if I can. Sorry in advance for anything ridiculous I say... hehehe. Thanks again, I feel a bit less anxious already. I thought nobody would respond! I am quite happy

 

[Sarah S]

Yes! (now I know how to quote I am clearly abusing it ) I think 'quirky' is said because I am outwardly positive, so quirky is the word they want to say, perhaps I seem too positive, when I am not. It's tiring! I never minded though, I just don't like 'weird' which was said a lot. But I am not so bothered now.

I have been off work for 2 years so I was incorrect about my diagnosis date, as I said before. It was actually June 2017 and a very quick process for me. I attended a trial type autism group for a few months also, it was ok but info overload.

I appreciate all the nice responses. I'd love to participate, but I am not very clever hahaha. I usually only repeat myself, in various different ways of saying the same thing 100 times. I noticed I do that. I hope to learn here how to better communicate, since I probably wont feel as nervous soon. I want to talk to people on here, so that I can understand myself and be helpful to others if I can. Sorry in advance for anything ridiculous I say... hehehe. Thanks again, I feel a bit less anxious already. I thought nobody would respond! I am quite happy

A yes Weird is what i was told i am AL my life . oh thats something most of does from time to time dear mixing dates etc... thats nothing to worry about, Been there with the overloaded SO many times Haha

Would you bleive i have been the same for pretty mush AL my life until i got adult (say around 25 ) my self confidence was TERRIBLE , and may i also ad when i first started my On line life i was TERRIBLE at it BUT i kept going jumped in messed up got up again and learnt and THATS what you should s´do as well in here dear , Were al in one way or another the same or utliest know about our or said " iccues " thats connected to this diagnose so in here you shouldent feel worried youl mess up as we AL do sometimes.

OF COURSE someone would respond dear now you just being silly girl

 

[Joon87]

From what i have being able to read about our shared diagnose it seems to be common factor with both phones (never been a problem for me tho other then talking WAY to mush and i NOT good at small talk ) and talking to strangers (i have that too tho =Lone wolf ) and again i NOT good at the so called art of small conversation

Yes well i can relate to that as im also have Severe ADHD (ASD is Mild ) me i dident know i was until my latest evaluation ( 20010 ) but i have had this from birth as well Oh i have NEVER been regarded as anything other then quirky strange not fitting in anywhere since birth so believe me i understand . same as with me then id say

Could be yes

Well as i said i can somehow easily go in to other peoples mind and think like them and understand them and so on BUT not when its reg my life then i CONSTANTLY misread and mess it al up so i have to ask (usely MY RL DEAR friend Older then me and i actually helped him a while back when he was in a bad state ) ( Giggles ) NO problems im the same dear so talk away hon were al here ready to listen (read )

For me, it is extremely odd because when I was a kid (I am 31 now) I used to like the phone, not answering it ever, but on my terms to call somebody who was a friend, I'd also overdo it and I realised that when a friend asked me 'What do you want'... I was a bit confused. In the Uk, there was this deal, hang up before an hour and it's free if with BT or something, so I misunderstood a couple of friends who I was attached to.. but I now hate it! I have a phone, which is who knows where, I am scared of phonecalls as I get older. Do you find it very easy to talk to people? if it's not a planned conversation for example. That sounds like an autistic stereotype, but I need to know who/ when now, or can't answer, it got worse in my 20's. I wonder why...
I think I am saying too much in this and will be in trouble for not creating a thread. Sorry its hard for me, I'll get worked up and worried I am repetitive and someone will link me an old thread that covered what I am saying, etc. I am very stressed, by nothing, it seems.
Thanks and sorry, I am over talking

 

[Joon87]

A yes Weird is what i was told i am AL my life . oh thats something most of does from time to time dear mixing dates etc... thats nothing to worry about, Been there with the overloaded SO many times Haha

Would you bleive i have been the same for pretty mush AL my life until i got adult (say around 25 ) my self confidence was TERRIBLE , and may i also ad when i first started my On line life i was TERRIBLE at it BUT i kept going jumped in messed up got up again and learnt and THATS what you should s´do as well in here dear , Were al in one way or another the same or utliest know about our or said " iccues " thats connected to this diagnose so in here you shouldent feel worried youl mess up as we AL do sometimes.

OF COURSE someone would respond dear now you just being silly girl

Sorry, what is AL? I seem so stupid. hehehe, it is true I am being a silly girl! My Mother often tells me I think I know what people are thinking, yet I am very far off! I suppose I can learn here. hehehe. Thank you for your kindness.

 

[Joon87]

Anybody can PM me, rather than me being publicly annoying on here, sorry. I am suddenly thinking I should have spoken about some things, separately to an introduction. I am very nervous to create a topic, it will take me some time. Thanks everyone for the welcome. I appreciate it.

 

[Sarah S]

For me, it is extremely odd because when I was a kid (I am 31 now) I used to like the phone, not answering it ever, but on my terms to call somebody who was a friend, I'd also overdo it and I realised that when a friend asked me 'What do you want'... I was a bit confused.

In the Uk, there was this deal, hang up before an hour and it's free if with BT or something, so I misunderstood a couple of friends who I was attached to.. but I now hate it! I have a phone, which is who knows where, I am scared of phonecalls as I get older.

Do you find it very easy to talk to people, if it's not a planned conversation for example.

That sounds like an autistic stereotype, but I need to know or can't answer, it got worse in my late 20's. I wonder why...

I think I am saying too much in this and will be in trouble for not creating a thread.

Sorry its hard for me, I'll get worked up and worried I am repetitive and someone will link me an old thread that covered what I am saying, etc. I am very stressed, by nothing, it seems.
Thanks and sorry, I am over talking

One thing i have understood reg this and other Diagnosis such as ours its that its al HIGHLY individual (and Yes since i got my diagnose i have studded it in depth to e able to better understand my new diagnosis (and NO im NOT an expert nor do claim to be one ) And this is also the view on the experts, And yes i have also managed to overdo the Phone and contact thing and got told of more then once . (im 47 now )

I can see how that might have confused you dear, also how you now due to earlier experiences recent or being scared of phone calls tragic tho

As i said if its people i know well and they know me no problems otherwise NO i rather stay silent and walk away .

Well as i said diagnosis is highly individual both between sex as well as otherwise dear so the only one that can answer that question is pro im afraid ,What i can say is that they USED to believe that this cind of diagnosis went away as we got older and for many it does or get less prominent BU there are also a % like me and apparently you that goes worse as we get older (in my case i can defenetly say its due to my crappy life from birth and being bombarded with negative stress in HIGH doses )

NONCENCE dear thats why we are al here and in this thread we get to know you so RELAX dear

As i said dear (if you check my profile you will also see i have been born with a MBD (minimal brain damage from birth (the successor to ADHD ) and with that diagnosis alone i also have MANY of the 99 + side diagnosis to said MBD AMONG them are Anxiety disorder among a gazillion others so BELIVE me dear i UNDERSTAND and thats why i again say try to RELAX dear youre doing FINE and NOONE will think that youre an idiot or treat you bad in here or link you olld replies and claim youre repeating youre self (HUG ) so try to take some deep breaths and calm down dear HMMMM

Youre not in ANY WAY SHAPE or form over talking ,bothering me or anything else youre sweet little mind might think of dear ,and you should know i have talked and helped both girls and boys both younger /older ,greater severity of said diagnosis etc.... For MANY years prior to me coming in here so dont worry about me dear

 

[Sarah S]

Sorry, what is AL? I seem so stupid. hehehe, it is true I am being a silly girl! My Mother often tells me I think I know what people are thinking, yet I am very far off! I suppose I can learn here. hehehe. Thank you for your kindness.

AL means since i was born up to now. And youre NOT stupid dear it was my fault for being unclear with my reply so dont worry about it dear i have no problems in explaining if im not understood dear ) , Youre very welkome dear

 

[Joon87]

You seem so kind, I will PM you soon. I feel weird saying too much on an introduction...I have an issue that I am instantly oversharing information about myself to anybody who asks, so I should respond to other threads as I get worried if focus is on me. It's totally contradicting to me having introduced myself, but I don't want to take advantage of any responses I am getting. I feel very happy people responded as it is

One thing i have understood reg this and other Diagnosis such as ours its that its al HIGHLY individual (and Yes since i got my diagnose i have studded it in depth to e able to better understand my new diagnosis (and NO im NOT an expert nor do claim to be one ) And this is also the view on the experts, And yes i have also managed to overdo the Phone and contact thing and got told of more then once . (im 47 now )

I can see how that might have confused you dear, also how you now due to earlier experiences recent or being scared of phone calls tragic tho

As i said if its people i know well and they know me no problems otherwise NO i rather stay silent and walk away .

Well as i said diagnosis is highly individual both between sex as well as otherwise dear so the only one that can answer that question is pro im afraid ,What i can say is that they USED to believe that this cind of diagnosis went away as we got older and for many it does or get less prominent BU there are also a % like me and apparently you that goes worse as we get older (in my case i can defenetly say its due to my crappy life from birth and being bombarded with negative stress in HIGH doses )

NONCENCE dear thats why we are al here and in this thread we get to know you so RELAX dear

As i said dear (if you check my profile you will also see i have been born with a MBD (minimal brain damage from birth (the successor to ADHD ) and with that diagnosis alone i also have MANY of the 99 + side diagnosis to said MBD AMONG them are Anxiety disorder among a gazillion others so BELIVE me dear i UNDERSTAND and thats why i again say try to RELAX dear youre doing FINE and NOONE will think that youre an idiot or treat you bad in here or link you olld replies and claim youre repeating youre self (HUG ) so try to take some deep breaths and calm down dear HMMMM

Youre not in ANY WAY SHAPE or form over talking ,bothering me or anything else youre sweet little mind might think of dear ,and you should know i have talked and helped both girls and boys both younger /older ,greater severity of said diagnosis etc.... For MANY years prior to me coming in here so dont worry about me dear

 

[Sarah S]

You seem so kind, I will PM you soon. I feel weird saying too much on a introduction...I have an issue with oversharing information about myself to anybody who asks,

so I should respond to other threads as I get worried if focus is on me. It's totally contradicting to me having introduced myself, but I don't want to take advantage of any responses I am getting. I feel very happy people responded as it is

Already Pm ´d you dear ,NO rush im right here ready when you are, Would you believe im the same ?

As i said take this in YOU'RE time dear and try to just breath and RELAX dear you havent done anything wrong (and well yeah im cind well known for making people open up them self to me ( Giggles )

 

[Pats]

Hi @Joon87 Welcome to the group. Hope you had a nice Christmas.
I agree with the phone thing - I had a friend once that we could talk on the phone for hours every day - we always spent most our time laughing about everything. But I dislike the phone more and more. If I don't know who is calling I don't answer. But if I'm expecting a call and have to answer an unknown number the greeting goes kind of like this - "Hello." "Is this Pats?" "Who's calling, please.?" "This is whatever" If it's the call I'm waiting for I say, it's me and talk to them, otherwise I ask if I can take a message. It works.

And don't worry if you think you say too much - some of us tend to ramble on and on (I'm one of those). Respond away. We can get into serious discussion or silly ones, it doesn't matter. Here we get to just be ourselves.

 

[Joon87]

Hi @Joon87 Welcome to the group. Hope you had a nice Christmas.
I agree with the phone thing - I had a friend once that we could talk on the phone for hours every day - we always spent most our time laughing about everything. But I dislike the phone more and more. If I don't know who is calling I don't answer. But if I'm expecting a call and have to answer an unknown number the greeting goes kind of like this - "Hello." "Is this Pats?" "Who's calling, please.?" "This is whatever" If it's the call I'm waiting for I say, it's me and talk to them, otherwise I ask if I can take a message. It works.

And don't worry if you think you say too much - some of us tend to ramble on and on (I'm one of those). Respond away. We can get into serious discussion or silly ones, it doesn't matter. Here we get to just be ourselves.

Thank you! I do wonder about phones and things because sometimes I am just not wanting to engage in conversations, it feels intense now. Emails are different, but I babble on and it pressures myself so it must pressure others. My Mum had always found it funny and respond to my stupid overtalking, because she lightens everything. Even though I constantly email her and must be such a needy daughter! haha. I can communicate face to face but I think it's then all thde high stress of processing and then wondering if I should say what I actually think, or what I think I should be saying. etc. I have been quite troubled by masking and it led to mental health issues half my life ago. Thanks again for all of the nice message. I realise I am again going off topic.
I like the silly discussion idea, because I am naturally not a very serious person Thank you for the kind words.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Joon

 

[Tom]

Don't worry about overdoing it on the intro thread. It is pretty common for it to turn into a full conversation.

 

[Cactus]

Again I'm enlightened. Most of the things you've said about yourself are things I've done my whole life. Such as when people think I'm slow just because it takes me a bit longer to learn something. I've always been anxious about being critiqued. I rarely looked at my graded assignments in college.

I start a new job January 2. I know they'll show and tell me a lot of information the first few days. I also know I'll forget some of it, and do some things wrong. It seems everyone forgets that humans learn by making mistakes. What usually happens on the job when mistakes are made? Disciplinary action. It happens all the time to people, and it's wrong.

I'm becoming more intolerant of ignorant, immoral, unethical, condescending, etc. people, and I need up isolating myself more. I can't shrug off the above like some people can. I'm just not made for this world.

Welcome to the forum. You are definitely not alone in a quirky world.

 

[granty1988]

Hello and welcome

I also was only diagnosed a couple of years ago , if you'd like to chat feel free to contact me !

 

[Joon87]

Thanks again for the responses

 

[Joon87]

Again I'm enlightened. Most of the things you've said about yourself are things I've done my whole life. Such as when people think I'm slow just because it takes me a bit longer to learn something. I've always been anxious about being critiqued. I rarely looked at my graded assignments in college.

I start a new job January 2. I know they'll show and tell me a lot of information the first few days. I also know I'll forget some of it, and do some things wrong. It seems everyone forgets that humans learn by making mistakes. What usually happens on the job when mistakes are made? Disciplinary action. It happens all the time to people, and it's wrong.

I'm becoming more intolerant of ignorant, immoral, unethical, condescending, etc. people, and I need up isolating myself more. I can't shrug off the above like some people can. I'm just not made for this world.

Welcome to the forum. You are definitely not alone in a quirky world.

Thank you, I am glad to hear somebody else relates I completely understand, I take criticism badly, whether its supposedly meant to be constructive or not. I try very hard to be honest, yet tactful...even when I was promoted at work, I hate to make others feel bad, so would often get in trouble by management for not being tough enough...
I hope your everything goes well with your new job and is as stress free as possible I have a terrible time at first, but tend to relax fast if the people are nice. I was lucky in my last job... I always expect the worst so was pleasantly surprised!

 

[Joon87]

Hello and welcome

I also was only diagnosed a couple of years ago , if you'd like to chat feel free to contact me !

Thanks very much!