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Hello

Polchinski,

I don't know if you're looking for feedback or if you're just frustrated, but what I will say is (and my apologies if I may be overly blunt):

Rodafina and Thinx both made excellent points on their respective topics (of participation and on finding a job).

To build on Thinx's comments, being in academia prepares you to be an academic. Being a teacher is a very different skill set that some have difficulty adapting to.

I didn't respond earlier as I didn't have much else to say in regards to your response to my suggestion, because I felt it would be redundant, but given your interests is math and physics on their own, then teaching is going to be the most likely career path as Thinx noted. The other thing I can think of would be some sort of research lab or institute, and being in NM, I'm sure you're already familiar with Sandia and so again, it's kind of redundant for me to point that out.

As for Rodafina's points, yes, sometimes we get busy and miss things, and other times, someone may have commented something similarly elsewhere and doesn't feel like repeating things.

I can't speak for others, but it's rare for me to do what I'm doing now and to make a second post on a welcome thread, since they really are more of an place to say whatever you'd like, if you so wish, before going into the various other forums and talking about whatever strikes your interest.

I'm not much of a stats guy, but when it comes to building connections with people, you kind of have to offer something to connect with. Some things, like art, music, and sports tend to be things where lots of people can connect, relate to, and bond over even if you're supporting different artists/players/teams. But not everyone has to have interests in those fields.

When people introduce themselves, how they do so often tells us a lot about themselves.

What your post and subsequent posts tells me is that you're someone who is quite proud of their academic success in math and physics, and that it's what you've wanted to do. That's great, and I'm happy for you.

But how many people are really in math and/or physics? And how many people do multiple PhDs? As a percentage of the population, very few.
There are some here with those interests, by the way, but as with everyone else, they may not always necessarily read every thread, but I'm sure if you post about those things that they will find those threads and comment.
And because that's all you really gave us, many members might not be able to relate and so wouldn't really have anything to say, as compared to if you mentioned a favourite television show, movie, book, or food, or just talked about your feelings in general.

I hope this might be useful.
 
What your post and subsequent posts tells me is that you're someone who is quite proud of their academic success in math and physics,

Thanks for pointing this out. Maybe this is something I was unaware of up until now. In particular, maybe my social problem is that I come across as boasting when I don't mean to. If so, that would explain why people don't like me. Nobody likes someone who boasts.

However, on my end of the line, I didn't mean to boast. The only time when I actually remember boasting about it was back in the 5-th grade. Back then my decision to be a physicist was new, and something to tell everyone about. But now? Not any more: its just something I am taken for granted. I eat three times a day, and I do physics. Neither is super cool or super interesting. But both would be upsetting if taken away.

Maybe coming across as boasting without being aware of it is a theory of mind thing. Because I haven't really asked myself the following question "lets pretend I never done physics, and someone goes on and on about physics just like that, what would I think?" Or better yet "pick the subject I am not into, such as baseball, and see what I would think if someone were to go on and on about baseball". I never really asked myself that question.

However, believe it or not, just the fact that I want to be mathematician or physicist doesn't negate that I have other human needs. In fact, I saw people in my own math department making connections to each other, yet I was left out.

Now, there was an older lady in my math department. She was probably in her 60-s based on her looks, and she is also doing a second Ph.D. (her first one was in biology). So anyway, I asked her why people don't like me. She said they think I am smart, to the point that it is "scary smart". Then I pointed out to her that there was another student in the math department who is also very smart and asked her why are they not ostracizing him then? She couldn't really answer that question. So I guess "being smart" is not what it is about.

One thing I do remember -- which she never mentioned by the way -- is that there was that one class where the professor was asking students questions during the lecture (to make sure we participate) and it was always either me or one other person who kept answering. Now, could it be that I came across as arrogant by answering it 50% of the time instead of, say, 10% of the time? Because I do feel like that class is where they noticed I was smart. But could it be that they also noticed I was arrogant too? No they didn't tell me the arrogant part. But if I pull together what that older lady told me (and she didn't mention that class) with what I remember from that class, thats one thing the logic would lead to.

But then again, that other student who was answering the other half of the questions in that class, why wasn't he ostracized then? And by the way, he wasn't the student whom I mentioned to that lady. The student I mentioned to that lady, who was smart, did not take htat class. And then there was another student that did, and I havne't mentioned him to her.

However, the other thing that just occurred to me is that actually I have no idea whether they were ostracized or not since I am not paying attention. All I know is I see students talking to each other but not me, and yes a lot of them are working together on math homework, too. I haven't seen either of those two students there, though. So its possible that those two students locked themselves in the room somewhere? Or maybe they are just not frequenting the places I am frequenting.

In any case, it doesn't really feel like its either the intellect or the arrogance either. In fact, what it DOES feel like, is that it is a lot closer to my neglecting personal grooming to the point of being confused with the homeless. Obviously, not by people in my department (they know me) but by the people elsewhere in town. So the question is: how can I be "too smart" and "seemingly homeless" at the same time? Those are the diametrically opposite traits!

Plus, whatever the reason, fact remains that my needs are not met. I have both social needs and academic needs. I don't want to choose between the two. I want both. I want to be one of those students who do math+science homework in groups and bond over it.
 
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@Polchinski
I can’t help but notice many of the threads you posted today went right for the most controversial and divisive topics. It is enlightening to read your thoughts on these matters, but have you ever considered trying to interact with more lighthearted and casual subject matter?

If you are trying to socialize more and get a better response from people, it may be helpful to adopt a more diplomatic approach to the way you publicly discuss things. Your thoughts and feelings are valid, but a friendly suggestion from me would be to try to engage in neutral topics for practice. I imagine there will be a good deal of pushback or a lack of response to some of the things you have posted today.

I am not criticizing you as a person here, just addressing the aforementioned frustration that you brought up concerning socializing with others.

I wish the best for you.
 
@Polchinski
I can’t help but notice many of the threads you posted today went right for the most controversial and divisive topics. It is enlightening to read your thoughts on these matters, but have you ever considered trying to interact with more lighthearted and casual subject matter?

If you are trying to socialize more and get a better response from people, it may be helpful to adopt a more diplomatic approach to the way you publicly discuss things. Your thoughts and feelings are valid, but a friendly suggestion from me would be to try to engage in neutral topics for practice. I imagine there will be a good deal of pushback or a lack of response to some of the things you have posted today.

I am not criticizing you as a person here, just addressing the aforementioned frustration that you brought up concerning socializing with others.

I wish the best for you.

Yeah politics and religion are good for starting loud arguments and wars. It's not great for socializing and talking with people, especially now in 2023.
 
Thanks for pointing this out. Maybe this is something I was unaware of up until now. In particular, maybe my social problem is that I come across as boasting when I don't mean to. If so, that would explain why people don't like me. Nobody likes someone who boasts.

However, on my end of the line, I didn't mean to boast. The only time when I actually remember boasting about it was back in the 5-th grade. Back then my decision to be a physicist was new, and something to tell everyone about. But now? Not any more: its just something I am taken for granted. I eat three times a day, and I do physics. Neither is super cool or super interesting. But both would be upsetting if taken away.

Maybe coming across as boasting without being aware of it is a theory of mind thing. Because I haven't really asked myself the following question "lets pretend I never done physics, and someone goes on and on about physics just like that, what would I think?" Or better yet "pick the subject I am not into, such as baseball, and see what I would think if someone were to go on and on about baseball". I never really asked myself that question.

However, believe it or not, just the fact that I want to be mathematician or physicist doesn't negate that I have other human needs. In fact, I saw people in my own math department making connections to each other, yet I was left out.

Now, there was an older lady in my math department. She was probably in her 60-s based on her looks, and she is also doing a second Ph.D. (her first one was in biology). So anyway, I asked her why people don't like me. She said they think I am smart, to the point that it is "scary smart". Then I pointed out to her that there was another student in the math department who is also very smart and asked her why are they not ostracizing him then? She couldn't really answer that question. So I guess "being smart" is not what it is about.

One thing I do remember -- which she never mentioned by the way -- is that there was that one class where the professor was asking students questions during the lecture (to make sure we participate) and it was always either me or one other person who kept answering. Now, could it be that I came across as arrogant by answering it 50% of the time instead of, say, 10% of the time? Because I do feel like that class is where they noticed I was smart. But could it be that they also noticed I was arrogant too? No they didn't tell me the arrogant part. But if I pull together what that older lady told me (and she didn't mention that class) with what I remember from that class, thats one thing the logic would lead to.

But then again, that other student who was answering the other half of the questions in that class, why wasn't he ostracized then? And by the way, he wasn't the student whom I mentioned to that lady. The student I mentioned to that lady, who was smart, did not take htat class. And then there was another student that did, and I havne't mentioned him to her.

However, the other thing that just occurred to me is that actually I have no idea whether they were ostracized or not since I am not paying attention. All I know is I see students talking to each other but not me, and yes a lot of them are working together on math homework, too. I haven't seen either of those two students there, though. So its possible that those two students locked themselves in the room somewhere? Or maybe they are just not frequenting the places I am frequenting.

In any case, it doesn't really feel like its either the intellect or the arrogance either. In fact, what it DOES feel like, is that it is a lot closer to my neglecting personal grooming to the point of being confused with the homeless. Obviously, not by people in my department (they know me) but by the people elsewhere in town. So the question is: how can I be "too smart" and "seemingly homeless" at the same time? Those are the diametrically opposite trait
Plus, whatever the reason, fact remains that my needs are not met. I have both social needs and academic needs. I don't want to choose between the two. I want both. I want to be one of those students who do math+science homework in groups and bond over it.
it's not boosting when it true. My wife and I went to our favorite hang out one an afternoon, few customers. So spent time conversing with bar tender a woman, after hours of conversation she was so impressed she told me a few days later she spent hours telling her family about that amazing person she meet at work so don't be so hard on yourself.
 
it's not boosting when it true. My wife and I went to our favorite hang out one an afternoon, few customers. So spent time conversing with bar tender a woman, after hours of conversation she was so impressed she told me a few days later she spent hours telling her family about that amazing person she meet at work so don't be so hard on yourself.

I think I am missing something. What is the connection between what you described about the bar and "so don't be hard on yourself". Were you assuming it was me whom she talked about? Just for the record, I never worked at bars, so it couldn't possibly be me. Or are you saying that person was in the similar to me, as in that person had no friends and nobody to talk to? Please clarify.
 
I was responding to what was said above what was above what I said These forums can be a bit confusing as they are designed, a bit strange and are hard to follow not made for us. Based on templates does not follow linear logic. quotes revert to the bottom of the thread.
 
I was responding to what was said above what was above what I said These forums can be a bit confusing as they are designed, a bit strange and are hard to follow not made for us. Based on templates does not follow linear logic. quotes revert to the bottom of the thread.

Now I am even more confused. I don't think we were discussing the design of the forums anywhere in this thread. Or did we? Can you point me to a place where we were?
 
Now you're getting me confused. Forums are Templates generalized. for non-autistic populations some of their features can be very confusing. I thought my mind was a bit different. I guess you are a bit more extreme than I.
 
Now you're getting me confused. Forums are Templates generalized. for non-autistic populations some of their features can be very confusing. I thought my mind was a bit different. I guess you are a bit more extreme than I.

Very simple question. Can you explain to me the connection between any of the topics discussed on this thread, and the topic you are trying to talk about right now?

CAN YOU REFER TO SPECIFIC POST NUMBERS AS YOU DO IT -- and APPROPRIATE quotations would help, too.
 
Sorry I cannot type well and be too detailed. can no longer touch type, due to stroke 3 years ago.
I can see you have a very logical mind; I would love to discuss physics. as some interesting insights would come out of it.
 
Sorry I cannot type well and be too detailed. can no longer touch type, due to stroke 3 years ago.
I can see you have a very logical mind; I would love to discuss physics. as some interesting insights would come out of it.

Am I correct in guessing you are probably 70 year old or even 80 year old? Those types of men can be weird. You remind me of that teacher that replaced me with. He was also really old and really weird.
 
Original post was based on #22 paragraph 3 regarding boasting. Which I responding to unfortunately it goes to the bottom not to the next item. Responses are no longer in numerical order. My response ended up being #28 even though it was responding to post #1.
 
Good guess 68 with poor computer skills. my wife had to help respond in a logical way to posting numbers and such. Now we both have her very confused as she is not one of us.
 
Original post was based on #22 paragraph 3 regarding boasting.

Okay, this is helpful. So what paragraph 3 was saying was that "coming across as boasting is a theory of mind thing". Did that person you talked about at the bar also came across as boasting and/or lacked the theory of mind?
 
Good guess 68 with poor computer skills. my wife had to help respond in a logical way to posting numbers and such. Now we both have her very confused as she is not one of us.

Glad I was able to guess your age :)

So since you are on this board and your wife isn't, does it mean you are on the spectrum and she is NT?
 
She is Not one of us and I Told her I Was well acquainted with the bar knowing the owner well. and that I Had given him a heads up when he could reopen during the covid crisis She wanted to see my statistics we talked for hours about many different subjects She basically thought I Was some sort of genius many on this site cannot socialize well. fortunately, under my Aspergers I am a closet extravert.

I have two threads on this site you may like One on Covid and a Second on Physics.
 

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