Cassandra Syndrome is a term that refers to the experience of a neurotypical person who is not believed or validated when they try to communicate the challenges of living with a partner who has an autism spectrum disorder.
.....
Cassandra Syndrome can cause emotional distress, frustration, depression, and loss of self-esteem for the neurotypical partner.
This fails the "Symmetry test".
Cassandra Syndrome seems to be an NT version of what we NDs deal with our entire lives. "NT version" because that definition clearly wasn't written
by one of us, or
for us.
OP - we understand this situation.
The negative effects described in the second fragment I quoted literally shape our lives. We
know the issues can be mitigated or overcome. That's were our comments that your situation is probably resolvable come from - personal experience over decades.
I read an interesting scenario from Reddit (via YouTube) some time ago, describing something relevant. I'll repeat the whole thing later if you (or someone else here) like(s). But for now, there's a simpler point.
A man posted that he was experiencing problems with his wife's way of interacting with his children. He asked if the issues were consistent with a "Dark Triad" Narcissist, and if so, what he should do.
Many people said the wife did indeed sound like a Narc, and suggested strong measures should be taken,
Luckily a couple of people suggested that he talk to his wife about his concerns.
The result of the talk: it turned out to be simple to
negotiate a change of behavior, and the "problems" disappeared almost immediately.
Why it's relevant:
"Reddit"
couldn't figure out what was going on, even after it was solved. They were amazed it went so well.
But I recognized common ND behavior from the first page of text. The wife was reacting honestly and accurately - the issue was her not using the encouraging "white lies" that should be used with young children.
The "problem" was honesty and accuracy in a context where society rightly doesn't feel it's "the best policy". Once this was explained,
of course the wife changed her behavior.
We love our families. We'll happily change our life-long behavior to make things better for them.
If you chose to talk to us, we can help you start the negotiation.