Help! Autistic brother moved home.

[Fino]

That's tough.

I feel like it would make sense for you to simply take the cat to your house, just because it's your cat and you want it treated a certain way, Autism unrelated.

If there's two cats, you think it would be a big deal for him to instead have one cat? Or if you got a cat to replace that cat and he had two cats? You're worried that it's not about the number of cats but about that specific cat now that he's attached?

The fact that you're considering just giving him the cat makes me wonder if the cat isn't all that important to you. Of course, it could just be that you care about him very much and you're desperate, but how important is the cat to you?

I'd be inclined to just take the cat, and let him deal with that.

A less cruel alternative could be to talk to him about altering his behavior under the condition that if he doesn't, you take the cat to your house.

Or perhaps explain some reason why you'd like to take the cat back to your house and offer to him get a new cat.

 

[HJQuinn]

@Fino The cat is important to me but it's a tough situation. I guess I need to try to talk to him about it. I guess my fear is if I take the cat, will it make him hate me and then I can't help him because he hates me? I don't wanna be cruel and I don't wanna trigger a meltdown but I love my cat. Catch 22. Again, you make good suggestions so it gives me more confidence in handling this situation. At least I know what I'm dealing with now. I know it's a normal trait of his and that helps more than you know.

 

[Tom]

Donate him to the Salvation Army. They do pickups for big items.

 

[Pats]

Sounds like he has assumed responsibility over the household - which includes the cats. And you're right. Getting another cat would not change how he is with the other cats.

 

[Fino]

My thinking keeps coming back to just taking the cat, if the only reason not to is fear of a meltdown or hatred. It seems like a form of abuse that he could take your pet, unwittingly using fear to do so, and Autism doesn't excuse abuse.

But since that's a pretty serious thing to do, I'd feel better having others' opinion on that before you seriously considered it because of me, if that were possible.