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HELP ME PLEASE

W

Wondering

New Member
Hello, I think I have aspengers syndrome.

Since I was born I was extremely socially akward. Shy, extremely socially anxious.

I am 28 and can't make proper eye contact with anyone, just when I'm drunk.
I cannot smile properly, I look stupid and I avoid smiling.
I cannot hold a proper conversation while someone looks at my face, I just say a little words and fast.

I know it sounds like social anxiety also (had it all my life) but for some reason I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, IT'S EITHER I STARE LIKE AN IDIOT OR I LOOK AWAY ALL THE TIME.

Also, I had a birth defect on my face that was fixed via surgery at age of 14.

And I had severe acne at 15. That caused me also to feel bad.

Do I have aspengers ? please don't tell me to go to doctor, doctors in my country don't know of aspengers.
 
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Welcome aboard :)
This is a friendly and helpful community with lots of information. Best wishes.
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Hi Wondering :) There is a lot of information on here which will help you to explore things more fully maybe. Also, there are links to the online self tests, which are quite broad ranging of questions covering different aspects of life, which may help indicate whether you are on autistic spectrum. Good Luck! :)
 
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
 
Wondering said:
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
Click to expand...
A score lower than 26 on the AQ test would indicate that your autistic traits are likely sub-clinical, though self tests are really no substitute for an offical assessment.

Social awkwardness and lack of eye contact are typical aspergic traits, but they could also be the result of low self esteem and/or social anxiety. I would suggest you talk to a therapist about your issues and just be completely honest. Weather you have Aspergers or not you would likely benefit from some of the coping skills and resources they could provide.
 
Wondering said:
Hello, I think I have aspengers syndrome.

Since I was born I was extremely socially akward. Shy, extremely socially anxious.

I am 28 and can't make proper eye contact with anyone, just when I'm drunk.
I cannot smile properly, I look stupid and I avoid smiling.
I cannot hold a proper conversation while someone looks at my face, I just say a little words and fast.

I know it sounds like social anxiety also (had it all my life) but for some reason I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, IT'S EITHER I STARE LIKE AN IDIOT OR I LOOK AWAY ALL THE TIME.

Also, I had a birth defect on my face that was fixed via surgery at age of 14.

And I had severe acne at 15. That caused me also to feel bad.

Do I have aspengers ? please don't tell me to go to doctor, doctors in my country don't know of aspengers.
Click to expand...
Do you have other reasons for thinking you might have Aspergers?
And whether or not you do have it, you are welcome here.
 
I suck at eye contact, facial expressions are dumb but I can use normal facial expressions with kids or someone who hmm... doesn't see my face well.
 
Wondering said:
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
Click to expand...

I scored first 2 and then 0 on the online quiz about a year and a half ago only to recently find that I myself am an aspie. As previously mentioned please do not read too much into such a short online quiz. What you are saying about eye contact sounds exactly like what my father and sister in law (both also diagnosed autistic) have experienced in their own lives. Early on in our relationship I would also find my sister in law staring at me during family gatherings, one time for up to an hour before I finally talked to her about it. She is also by far one of the most socially awkward people I know and always has been from what I understand. I've been told I'm also very hard to read-while I can make eye contact (though my eyes frequently wander) I only really make facial expressions when I get particularly excited, worked up or happy.

While general practitioners are frequently in the dark ages about autism/aspergers it may be worth seeking out a neuropsychologist or similar specialist to aid in diagnosis if any are available in your country, often a diagnosis opens doors for a lot of very useful resources. Perhaps there may even be someone in the US that would be willing to video chat??
 
Help me I have become suicidal.

I don't know if I have aspengers syndrome anymore or just social anxiety.

There was a time when I was like a social guru with a few close friends (during age of 12-13-14) I don't remember if I had good eye contact there but many people were withdrown to me.

However I had some MAJOR complexes that left me in this terror. Let's put it more clear :

1. I wish to be with people, at the parties, in the center of atention, whatever but I feel EXTREMELY nervous in those situations.

2. If I make good eye contact I cannot smile proprely because of a complex (I have a big scar on my lip that looks horrible when I laugh) so I avoided laughing normally for 5 - 6 years

When I was in highschool I got in 4 traumatic experiences when I was in front of the class (blush, slurred speech, sweaty hands and visible nervousness that made people think I am shy or retarded) after those experiences I was never the same in a group. When I am in a group my mind almost always gives me the feeling of "EXTREME ALERT" that everyone is seeing my weaknesses.

Now, eye contact was always a problem, I stare too much or I look away too fast. And I don't know if I have aspergers or not, but I understand people reactions/emotions/ideas but I simply cannot put my social interaction into practice because I feel freezed.

I feel extremely suicidal, I don't know what to do in this situation, how can I act normal in a group ?
 
If you are feeling suicidal, you need to deal with that first (like a suicide hotline)! Your other problems can wait. There are meds that can take that feeling away.

Nobody can help you, if you succeed in offing yourself. (And you still haven't answered which country you are from. Someone here might be able to locate additional resources.)
 
There are reports that your country is starting to take autism more seriously. If you can hold on, services will become more available. If you are autistic, depression & suicidality are co-morbid conditions that can be addressed right now.
 
Wondering said:
How the f$@# do I know if I am autistic or not ? omfg you are so pathetic
Click to expand...
I am uncertain if you are desperate and in a bad situation or just "trolling."
However, your last reply is abusive and entirely out of line.
 
If you're suicidal and you're actively thinking about killing yourself then call a semi-pro, now. Don't wait. A suicide hotline in your country is 127, I believe. I don't know what the situation with charities in Albania is like but if there's anything like The Samaritans in your country then I suggest talking to them, they're very good at helping those who are on the brink.

If it's suicidal ideation you're having (the concept of thinking about killing yourself) then I know what it's like, I've been there. What ever you're dealing with, be it depression or something like it, it does get better and you can beat it.
 
Wondering said:
How the f$@# do I know if I am autistic or not ? omfg you are so pathetic
Click to expand...
First: calling people who are trying to help you pathetic or anything along those lines won't get you far here; just so you know. Let that be a warning.

Second: we can't judge if you're autistic or not. We' re not a diagnostic team. If you don't have doctors available then read, take the online tests, several times, over a period of time to see if there's a circumstantial element to your answers. And again read, write down your own thoughts. A lot of us sort of find out before getting an official dx, but this isn't some quick thing, and we, nor anyone else, can just tell you if you are autistic with just a few lines of info. Help for autistics might not be easy to find in Albania, but there should be something. Perhaps try to find some other autistics near you to navigate all that. And get some books at the library to once again... read.

Third: call that hotline! Even if you find a proper professional to get a diagnosis, being suicidal won't make it easier. That's the priority right now, finding out if you're autistic or not can come later.
 
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