Hi I'm Chris

[ChrisG]

Recently diagnosed 60 yr old whos 17 at heart. Not sure if that pertains but its how I feel and in the interest of being honest....
A little confused as to where to start to understand what this is all about but in the interest of staying married I want to try to understand how to change if I can change at all.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome, @ChrisG.
Marriage takes two, but the more you can come to terms with your autism, the better off you are going to be.

An autism-competent counselor may be able to speak to your wife in terms that she can appreciate.

Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

 

[unperson]

Hi Chris, welcome to site, lots of late dx'ed folks here.

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome. Kids at heart are very welcomed here.

 

[tree]

 

[Suzette]

Hello

 

[watersprite]

Welcome.

 

[Wulven]

Howdy.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Welcome to the forums

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

 

[Magna]

Welcome.

I assume your spouse is NT (Neurotypical) so like me, you're in a neurologically mixed marriage. Marriage is compromise. It will do you well to listen to what your spouse finds to be important, necessary, etc in the relationship and which might require that you bend and sacrifice.

However, the compromise also comes in on the other side for your spouse in that there are things about you that can't change over the long term; there are things that you find to be important and necessary for your wellbeing and those might be very different from your spouse's needs.

Sometimes NT partners wish, hope for and even expect that their autistic partner will pick up on their needs, wants, etc simply from non-verbal cues. Neurologically mixed marriages work best when the NT spouse is direct. "Say what you mean and mean what you say."

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. There are plenty here in your situation, I hope you can find some useful threads to read and get ideas from others. It can be quite puzzling for you both, but it's useful to know about the autism to help you both find ways to manage things. Each person is an individual and autism is only part of the mix, I guess. I hope you enjoy it here and find it useful and supportive.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forums!

Autism is a hard wired neurological way of the brain. Change doesn't come easy for most,
but, once you know about it, you can work with it.
I, also, would recommend having an autism counselor explain to your wife what it's all about
and maybe work together with them if she is willing.

Good luck to you. This is a good place to start understanding about your dx.
I am 64 and wasn't diagnosed until in my fifties.

 

[James45]

Hello. Create regular personal space, to let your brain cool down a bit...too much proximity to another individual leads me to meltdown/shutdown but with space it is much easier to manage. Hope you find some help here.

 

[Martha Ferris]

Welcome. I look forward to getting to know you.