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Hi. I'm Maximillian. I'm very new to this forum. I'm from London

M

Maximillian

Member
Hi, I'm a 15-year-old diagnosed with autism. I'm not sure about what to say, so I apologize if anything I say might be weird. So, I was diagnosed when I was 2 1/2 years old. My life has been a mixture of good and bad.

The one problem I have with what I have is simply that I am not easily understood by the people around me. You know, whenever I pace up and down an empty room, play with Lego or get anxious about bad things that could happen, I am simply criticized or told that I need to stop. I find it difficult that my family don't understand me too well. They try to change me, telling me I am creating a bad image of myself or that I am setting myself up for a life of loneliness and failure. I find myself stressed when this happens because I can't make those changes, and when I don't I am told off. I have been bullied at school for acting differently to my peers.

My personal statement is that there is nothing wrong with acting out of the "Ordinary". I simply want to be understood and treated like any human being in society and to live like those other human beings. I, and you, should not have to change this unique person that has been placed on this planet. I'm happy to be this unique person.

My hobbies include chess, rubix cubes, lego, video games (Specifically Nintendo), story writing, or simply going to a playground to go on the swings. However, I don't often do these hobbies as my favorite thing to do is to pace up and down empty spaces daydreaming about things.

I am happy to talk. Thanks for reading
 
Welcome, Maximillian! Being a teen is hard. Being a teen on the spectrum more so. I remember my parents were desperate for me to go out and socialize with others, while I just wanted to read books and listen to music in my room. I didn’t hang out with others my age much: they found me weird and I didn’t understand them and didn’t relate to most of them.

I learned to blend in better over the years (I’m 35 now), but I’ve also embraced my strangeness. I hope you’ll find something that works for you. And I hope you enjoy your stay here!
 
Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm a pacer too! Do you count your steps? I do. I always wanted to borrow a pedometer for a few days just to see how far I walk, but its several hours sometimes. It's good exercise, nice and flat.

I'm an xbox man myself, please dont hate me for that. Lately I'm not all that into it, no new games I guess.

Have a glorious day
 
0eb7a03df1aec60bf6b6aad4ed9dfb4c.png
 
Hi @Maximillian

Welcome to the Forum. I hope you find some others of your age around in here - there are some younger folks. Do have a read of the older posts - there is a lot of experience in there.
 
Geez , your statement @Bolletje really shook me up. My mom seemed upset that l stayed in my room willing to entertain myself. It was a stigma of sorts. My daughter stayed home a lot in her teen years, and l was fine with it.

She didn't want to get her driver's license like so many kids these days. But l signed her up and then it was a challenge for her.

I worried about things way too much when younger, in an obsessive way. This is typical for us teens. You will eventually get out of this stage. But you probably revisit thoughts of dread through out your lifetime. Just check posts on rumination at this site to help you understand yourself better.

Great you came here and opened up. It shows maturity and a healthy interest in yourself and why you think the way you do. Think for a 15 year-old , you are going to be successful. Just beware of who you allow close to you.
 
Maximillian said:
They try to change me, telling me I am creating a bad image of myself or that I am setting myself up for a life of loneliness and failure. I find myself stressed when this happens because I can't make those changes, and when I don't I am told off. I have been bullied at school for acting differently to my peers.

My personal statement is that there is nothing wrong with acting out of the "Ordinary". I simply want to be understood and treated like any human being in society and to live like those other human beings.
Click to expand...

You have such a mature attitude for one so young. Don't let those who try to shape you into something you're not out of some misguided sense of concern or love. You are a unique individual with many talents, some most probably still to be discovered by yourself.

Being different is not a bad thing, and whatever you do that others perceive as weird or unnatural has nothing to do with reality. Your uniqueness and the way you cope with life are not something to be suppressed or discouraged.

Of course, being different gets noticed. It can't be helped, but if you accept yourself, it can help you slough off or walk away from those who reject or taunt you as 'Not one of us!'. If you choose to be alone, then that is your choice, but you are not setting yourself up for a life of loneliness and failure.

As we mature, we pick up new skills, new information, and learn to compensate as needed. You are still so very young . When I was your age, I was fitting in after a fashion but I was miserable within myself. My fascinations actually gave me something to hold onto and I honed them to a fine edge. It gave me a course through life, helped me find a career and a spouse. So you see, those around you are wrong. Those of us on the spectrum may have it harder, but our experiences shape and mold us on our way through life. We find comfort and joy a bit harder to achieve, but it is not impossible.

Stay true to yourself. Make your own choices and then accept the results from those choices and move on. That is the key to living your life and finding your own happiness within it.

Welcome to the forum, Maximillian! May you find acceptance from those with more perception of the wonderful and unique human being that you are. Don't let the naysayers drag you down. You are not alone in the world.
 
Welcome!

I find that when talking to other neurodiverse individuals, that there are some people that I really connect with, others where it's just not there, and some where it's situational.

I guess my takeaway is if someone isn't interested, to avoid accidentally extrapolating that as everyone isn't interested.
 
Welcome! It is easy to understand your frustration and am sad that you had been bullied. You don't change, but behaviors that infringe on others may need to, as you age and your priorities change. It can be done. Not without work, but you can rewrite your inner biography and learn to be social in ways to recognize accepting people. Some here have had to learn those lessons.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
Hi, @Maximillian I have an idea for you. I have a friend from Sweden who is a couple years older than you. He's been looking hard for a friend to go on discord with him to hang out so he can practice his English. BTW he speaks excellent English and likes video gaming too. He's a member of this site. Would you like me to introduce you?
Click to expand...

Yes please, actually. Looking for a social life is the reason I'm on here. Thanks
 
Aspychata said:
Geez , your statement @Bolletje really shook me up. My mom seemed upset that l stayed in my room willing to entertain myself. It was a stigma of sorts. My daughter stayed home a lot in her teen years, and l was fine with it.

She didn't want to get her driver's license like so many kids these days. But l signed her up and then it was a challenge for her.

I worried about things way too much when younger, in an obsessive way. This is typical for us teens. You will eventually get out of this stage. But you probably revisit thoughts of dread through out your lifetime. Just check posts on rumination at this site to help you understand yourself better.

Great you came here and opened up. It shows maturity and a healthy interest in yourself and why you think the way you do. Think for a 15 year-old , you are going to be successful. Just beware of who you allow close to you.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm sure lots of people on this forum are likely to be shook by what I've said. You're right, I should be careful who I approach. My dad is very worried about me being in my room. I'm sure I'll work things out with him. I don't really get bullied anymore, but that's probably because the kids in my school realise they have better things to do than pick on someone. Thanks for reading my post.
 
Aspychata said:
This is typical for us teens. You will eventually get out of this stage. But you probably revisit thoughts of dread through out your lifetime.
Click to expand...
So true. Lonely and isolated as a teen and young adult, I worked through it, but I let anger over that turn into bitterness. That is something you want to avoid @Maximillian , especially if your mind sees the lack of connection as trauma. I fight with anxiety if my thoughts wander to those years. But now, I am studying modern stoicism for guidance. The goal is not to be emotionless, but to control negative emotions.
 
Maximillian said:
Yeah, I'm sure lots of people on this forum are likely to be shook by what I've said. You're right, I should be careful who I approach. My dad is very worried about me being in my room. I'm sure I'll work things out with him. I don't really get bullied anymore, but that's probably because the kids in my school realise they have better things to do than pick on someone. Thanks for reading my post.
Click to expand...
Being careful about who you let close is good. Sometimes I thought I had friends and I would share knowledge and activities with them, yet they never reciprocated when it counted: Takers. I had my most success joining activity groups where I enjoyed the activities and was not looking for friendship . . . but it found me. I have very accepting NTs as friends and value them. The best was an old-time hippie couple who smothered me in acceptance. That experience so long ago gave me confidence and allowed me the breathing room to learn to enjoy myself and grow.

I hope you will be fortunate in your journey, learning to recognize good people a valuing them, and yourself. [added] Remember, you are not your Autism. That means you are free to develop the way you think and behave without losing the unique person that is you.
 
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Skittlebisquit said:
Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm a pacer too! Do you count your steps? I do. I always wanted to borrow a pedometer for a few days just to see how far I walk, but its several hours sometimes. It's good exercise, nice and flat.

I'm an xbox man myself, please dont hate me for that. Lately I'm not all that into it, no new games I guess.

Have a glorious day
Click to expand...

I do count my steps. When I find my open space such as a kitchen or living room or outside, I like to count "2" every time I step. I take 4 steps and each one I count in my head "2, 4, 6, 8". I also like to keep a pattern with it. I take those steps, rotate 180 degrees and repeat. If there's a pattern on the ground, such as some squares, I like to keep my feet in them. Then, I'm freely pacing and I can daydream. I'm sure some people here have some sort of similar behaviours. It's nice to know someone is like me.
 
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