Hi there!

[Shimofuri-tan]

I apologize for not responding sooner. I was overwhelmed reading the post. We are so much alike. I always felt alone how life felt for me but maybe there are a lot of people like us we never met and that is why we felt alone.

One thing I still wish I could find is someone who likes the things I do. No one I talk to gets excited about the things I do. I do not understand that.

I am constantly apologizing to others for not responding to things sooner, coming up with a response can be very exhausting (so I get it, no need to tell me sorry!). I am sorry for overwhelming you. I worry I've been dumping a lot on everyone so far. I struggle with being brief in general! It's just so exciting and relieving to find out there are other people who experience what I do.

What are some things you like? Maybe we have common interests we just don't know about yet.

 

[grommet]

I am constantly apologizing to others for not responding to things sooner, coming up with a response can be very exhausting (so I get it, no need to tell me sorry!). I am sorry for overwhelming you. I worry I've been dumping a lot on everyone so far. I struggle with being brief in general! It's just so exciting and relieving to find out there are other people who experience what I do.

What are some things you like? Maybe we have common interests we just don't know about yet.

Hello. You did not overwhelm me. It was realizing there is someone like me.

There are things I am interested in, in general but it is the passion that I feel without meaning to when I feel so good about ordinary things. I used to build electronics and a few years ago I found a website with the best connectors I had ever seen. They were professional on another level. Just seeing how good they were had me flooding with feelings. My brain does that, it feels strong attachments to ordinary things when I see how good they are.

Once I got a random job to do some rope work. A restaurant needed rope lines to mark off an outdoor seating area. Through someone at the marina where I spent time, they found me for the job. Splicing rope was an obsession and I was poor so it was wonderful to get the job but what amazed me and I never got over was was they brought me to work with.

The brought over a box of 'old rope' as they called it. I could not believe what I was seeing, it was too amazing and they thought it was nothing. Maybe to real people it is but I knew a lot about rope and how it is made and I had never seen anything so perfect. I did not think it was possible to make rope like that. Rope is made from fibers, pulled and twisted. Natural fibers take a lot of work to make into material for ropes.

If you have ever seen manilla rope from a hardware store it is very rough but most important to notice (if you want to look) is that the fibers are not the same thickness, some are large are stiff, some thin, all tried to use together. That is poor rope. But combing the fibers until they are all the same costs more. For cheap rope, it is not done.

The rope they brought me was what is called "new old stock". Something brand new never used but old, sitting in stock for a long time. This was linen rope from the 1960s and it was flawless. Every fiber was identical. I did not think it was possible to do that with a natural fiber, how could the factory work that hard to make something that fine?

I just wrote a lot but it was also to demonstrate how ordinary things affect me. It was a box of rope and I guess that is not supposed to be important but it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

I never hear anyone else talk about being amazed at the beauty of something that is ordinary.

One person here on Aspie Central did something I think is genius. He wanted to use a candle in a candle holder he liked but the candle was to thick so he put it on a lathe and turned it until it was the right size.

I do not think people understand the genius of that. They might think it was a waste of time working so hard for a candle but I do not think they get it. To see what you want and make the absolutely clear decision to take whatever steps you need to to made it happen, to have that kind of discipline so you can have something the way you really want it, how many people could really do that?

What about re-planting an entire garden because the color reflected back into the house was not right but now it is. If it took months to do it and nobody understood but you say inside and everything finally felt okay. Autistic people can do that, have the ordinary be that important.

So when I go down the walkway in my building and the afternoon sun makes an amazing shadow going through the railing I cannot believe what I am seeing. All the lines so perfect. I like lines. But I have nobody to share things like that with and I learned a long time ago not to tell people because they say I am weird and it hurts my feelings.

 

[Shimofuri-tan]

It was a box of rope and I guess that is not supposed to be important but it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

You have fascinating perspective. I admire your ability to see something "amazing" where others see "nothing." This is not weird, it is a very positive thing. What you were saying reminded me of a habit I have. I like to take walks, and while on walks (and even indoors sometimes), I have a tendency to make shapes with my hand--circles, rectangles, triangles, etc. When I form these shapes, I try to capture my environment with them. It's very satisfying to see how I can take the complexity of the environment and make it fit into my hand. It's difficult to describe this experience. I will start doing it unconsciously, and will stop if there is someone around to notice, because I don't think others can appreciate what I am achieving by, basically, consuming the world with my hand. A parked car, the leaves along the curb, the sun in the sky (and sunbeams), treetops...all mine. All condensed. Assimilated. Maybe easier to cope with? Or coexist with? Easier to understand?

I really enjoy reducing things into simple shapes and lines. Once, I took an art class and the assignment was something to do with design. I made endless loops and lines on cardstock with a pen and colored the gaps with marker, spending as much time possible on each piece. It didn't feel possible to quit. It was hard to separate myself from it. I could see infinity in the lines I was creating. Other people, instructors and classmates, were surprised by the intricacy. They called it "psychedelic." Seeing all the ways I could make the lines connect, looking at the sections and compartments I had formed, studying the various curves and angles, it was like being on a whole different plane. It made me happy.

 

[grommet]

You have fascinating perspective. I admire your ability to see something "amazing" where others see "nothing." This is not weird, it is a very positive thing. What you were saying reminded me of a habit I have. I like to take walks, and while on walks (and even indoors sometimes), I have a tendency to make shapes with my hand--circles, rectangles, triangles, etc. When I form these shapes, I try to capture my environment with them. It's very satisfying to see how I can take the complexity of the environment and make it fit into my hand. It's difficult to describe this experience. I will start doing it unconsciously, and will stop if there is someone around to notice, because I don't think others can appreciate what I am achieving by, basically, consuming the world with my hand. A parked car, the leaves along the curb, the sun in the sky (and sunbeams), treetops...all mine. All condensed. Assimilated. Maybe easier to cope with? Or coexist with? Easier to understand?

I really enjoy reducing things into simple shapes and lines. Once, I took an art class and the assignment was something to do with design. I made endless loops and lines on cardstock with a pen and colored the gaps with marker, spending as much time possible on each piece. It didn't feel possible to quit. It was hard to separate myself from it. I could see infinity in the lines I was creating. Other people, instructors and classmates, were surprised by the intricacy. They called it "psychedelic." Seeing all the ways I could make the lines connect, looking at the sections and compartments I had formed, studying the various curves and angles, it was like being on a whole different plane. It made me happy.

"A parked car, the leaves along the curb, the sun in the sky (and sunbeams), treetops...all mine."

I really enjoy reducing things into simple shapes and lines. Once, I took an art class and the assignment was something to do with design. I made endless loops and lines on cardstock with a pen and colored the gaps with marker, spending as much time possible on each piece. It didn't feel possible to quit. It was hard to separate myself from it. I could see infinity in the lines I was creating. Other people, instructors and classmates, were surprised by the intricacy. They called it "psychedelic." Seeing all the ways I could make the lines connect, looking at the sections and compartments I had formed, studying the various curves and angles, it was like being on a whole different plane. It made me happy.

You understand. Another person understands. I never thought in my lifetime I would know that another person understood. I do not know what they're (not autistic people) lives are like but ours are like magic every day just seeing pencils or leaves or wonderful cement curbs. I like cement curbs very much. I love their lines and nobody ever gets mad at curbs.

Autistic people can love the way something is the way it is supposed to be. So much pleasure seeing something that is just right. When the blue is cobalt and it should be. When the right number of keys in the right pattern are on a key ring. When a car door closes and makes just the right sound. The sound of a car door that you could never mistake for anything else. It is just right.

Things should click or whoosh or slide and roll just right. A button should not feel mushy, it should push back enough that it makes you push it, it does not give up and half press itself. Good things, good objects are themselves, without you there and will be what they are after you leave. Still a good curb or button, a really really good door. They are like friends out in the world and they do not serve us, they are themselves, their own things and we visit them and should be polite. If a door is a good one, we should use it properly. Not kick it open without respect, that is a shame on us.

To me every thing matters, not everything, every thing. Objects are more real to me than people. Nothing wrong with people but I cannot understand them. Beautiful rope is like seeing something even better than me, things that good are like celebrities to me. People celebrities have never made sense to me.

I think aspies who are artist love a brush that is just right, just for being so good. Separate from painting with it. There is a tractor thread here. It is wonderful. People are not just saying it is a good tractor when they show it in a picture, I know they love how wonderful it is even if they never use it. They think it is a great tractor.

I wish this photo did not come out so big but it is of a key I carry. It is not polished now like when I finished it but it took me two weeks learning how to make it perfect. It is one of my most special things and nobody knows it or could guess what is so different about it.

I wrote a lot so I will try to make this short. There are pins inside a lock pushed down by springs, when a key goes in it lifts the pins against those springs to just the right height so the pins are out of the way and let the lock turn. The cuts in a key are to the right depth to move the pins just right.

If you had a key copied at a hardware store, it might be close to right but you might also have problems, like a click or having to pull it out a little or push it in a little more to make it turn.

That is because the cuts for a key are coded to exact depths to hundreds of an inch. Each depth is given a single digit number value. Not this key but an example would be 83795. When you know the key code you can make the first cut to the depth of what 8 represents in that brand of lock.

The cuts also need to be in the right spot, not too far forward or back. Hardware store key cutting machines .. I do not think the people there know how to calibrate their machines so the cuts are in the right spot. They can do okay but not like this key. My key is perfect.

On this key I stamped the word "code" to remind me this is not a copy from another key, which always makes it less accurate, but a key blank cut using code-keys (keys with all number 8 cuts or 7 etc, precisely). I also calibrate my machine each time before I make a key.

That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out.

Did you notice how this key has no sharp peaks? I did by hand using a file, a "smooth cut". I removed very precisely all the material that was not needed to open the lock. I polished it with wet dry sand paper and jeweler's rouge polish. Because it is rounded smooth it interacts gently with the spring loaded pins in the lock so it goes into a lock like puff of air.

It is a .25 cent key blank I spent two weeks working on and I carry it like an expensive ring because ordinary things are very special to autistic people. We love them.

 

[kityoume]

.
So when I go down the walkway in my building and the afternoon sun makes an amazing shadow going through the railing I cannot believe what I am seeing. All the lines so perfect. I like lines. But I have nobody to share things like that with and I learned a long time ago not to tell people because they say I am weird and it hurts my feelings.

this is so familiar to me, I also love to share all sorts of little things and my thoughts on this matter and also I love to watch other people's thoughts. But mostly people don't get it or they say "you think too much" when trying to tell them something interesting.

 

[grommet]

this is so familiar to me, I also love to share all sorts of little things and my thoughts on this matter and also I love to watch other people's thoughts. But mostly people don't get it or they say "you think too much" when trying to tell them something interesting.

All my life I heard that. It hurts to be rejected every time. It feels so lonely when you talk to people about what is making you excited or happy and they do not understand or even say that you are wrong to feel that way. The kids in school were awful, they would always intimate I was retarded and make a funny face and voice while they repeated what I said. After a while that hurt so much I stopped talking.

 

[kityoume]

All my life I heard that. It hurts to be rejected every time. It feels so lonely when you talk to people about what is making you excited or happy and they do not understand or even say that you are wrong to feel that way. The kids in school were awful, they would always intimate I was retarded and make a funny face and voice while they repeated what I said. After a while that hurt so much I stopped talking.

how could you be called mentally retarded if you are a very smart person you are well versed in ropes and know how to make blanks for keys?

 

[grommet]

how could you be called mentally retarded if you are a very smart person you are well versed in ropes and know how to make blanks for keys?

I do not know how they reasoned. They also called people gay if they did something they thought was stupid though they did not really think the person was gay. They made fun of anything anyone said that was different. I could not speak formally or correctly. Had to use contractions. Saying, "I am" could start a lot of being picked on. To survive I started doing what they did, like camouflage. Speaking badly, saying simple dumb things. Never making astute observations. Just talk about girls and cars and how lame (their word) everyone else was. Could avoid getting picked on or beaten up if I did that.

 

[kityoume]

I do not know how they reasoned. They also called people gay if they did something they thought was stupid though they did not really think the person was gay. They made fun of anything anyone said that was different. I could not speak formally or correctly. Had to use contractions. Saying, "I am" could start a lot of being picked on. To survive I started doing what they did, like camouflage. Speaking badly, saying simple dumb things. Never making astute observations. Just talk about girls and cars and how lame (their word) everyone else was. Could avoid getting picked on or beaten up if I did that.

May I know how old are you now? and did you end up looking at things more discerningly or do you keep repressing it?

 

[grommet]

May I know how old are you now? and did you end up looking at things more discerningly or do you keep repressing it?

I am 55 now. I do not understand your other question. I never stopped thinking like myself, I only pretended to be like them. I wonder though how many of them were reacting to me and doing the same thing.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

My name is Sarah, I’m 26-years-old, and I was diagnosed in September. Since then, I’ve been looking for a place where I can talk to others who are like me. It’s difficult to even get started here; I feel like no matter what I say, I’m never actually expressing myself how I would like to. But I really want to try! Being different alone is no fun.

I struggle a lot with self-shaming and am continually working past that. When I was first diagnosed, I was a little dismayed by the “high-functioning” label, because I definitely do not feel that way. Many “ordinary” things are (and have always been) difficult. Just going to the post office is a huge undertaking because I need to know exactly what to expect when I go: Who I will be talking to? What I will need to say? Will there be a line? How will I know for sure when it’s my turn? Any kind of socializing can at times be excruciating, and unfamiliar things can be overwhelming. I’ve been hoping that now I’m more aware of my strengths and limitations, these sorts of things will become easier for me. And I can become more forgiving.

Just a few of my interests include: drawing in my sketchbook and on my Cintiq, Star Trek, survival horror, RPGs, listening to every genre of music, peanut butter + chocolate, etc. So, yeah! Thank you for reading my introduction. I look forward to meeting you!

Welcome! I too am new here. Like you, I fall under the 'high-functioning' label '(or 'low-support needs' if one prefers). I resonate with your sentence of 'many ordinary things are just difficult'.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

"A parked car, the leaves along the curb, the sun in the sky (and sunbeams), treetops...all mine."



You understand. Another person understands. I never thought in my lifetime I would know that another person understood. I do not know what they're (not autistic people) lives are like but ours are like magic every day just seeing pencils or leaves or wonderful cement curbs. I like cement curbs very much. I love their lines and nobody ever gets mad at curbs.

Autistic people can love the way something is the way it is supposed to be. So much pleasure seeing something that is just right. When the blue is cobalt and it should be. When the right number of keys in the right pattern are on a key ring. When a car door closes and makes just the right sound. The sound of a car door that you could never mistake for anything else. It is just right.

Things should click or whoosh or slide and roll just right. A button should not feel mushy, it should push back enough that it makes you push it, it does not give up and half press itself. Good things, good objects are themselves, without you there and will be what they are after you leave. Still a good curb or button, a really really good door. They are like friends out in the world and they do not serve us, they are themselves, their own things and we visit them and should be polite. If a door is a good one, we should use it properly. Not kick it open without respect, that is a shame on us.

To me every thing matters, not everything, every thing. Objects are more real to me than people. Nothing wrong with people but I cannot understand them. Beautiful rope is like seeing something even better than me, things that good are like celebrities to me. People celebrities have never made sense to me.

I think aspies who are artist love a brush that is just right, just for being so good. Separate from painting with it. There is a tractor thread here. It is wonderful. People are not just saying it is a good tractor when they show it in a picture, I know they love how wonderful it is even if they never use it. They think it is a great tractor.

View attachment 96465

I wish this photo did not come out so big but it is of a key I carry. It is not polished now like when I finished it but it took me two weeks learning how to make it perfect. It is one of my most special things and nobody knows it or could guess what is so different about it.

I wrote a lot so I will try to make this short. There are pins inside a lock pushed down by springs, when a key goes in it lifts the pins against those springs to just the right height so the pins are out of the way and let the lock turn. The cuts in a key are to the right depth to move the pins just right.

If you had a key copied at a hardware store, it might be close to right but you might also have problems, like a click or having to pull it out a little or push it in a little more to make it turn.

That is because the cuts for a key are coded to exact depths to hundreds of an inch. Each depth is given a single digit number value. Not this key but an example would be 83795. When you know the key code you can make the first cut to the depth of what 8 represents in that brand of lock.

The cuts also need to be in the right spot, not too far forward or back. Hardware store key cutting machines .. I do not think the people there know how to calibrate their machines so the cuts are in the right spot. They can do okay but not like this key. My key is perfect.

On this key I stamped the word "code" to remind me this is not a copy from another key, which always makes it less accurate, but a key blank cut using code-keys (keys with all number 8 cuts or 7 etc, precisely). I also calibrate my machine each time before I make a key.

That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out.

Did you notice how this key has no sharp peaks? I did by hand using a file, a "smooth cut". I removed very precisely all the material that was not needed to open the lock. I polished it with wet dry sand paper and jeweler's rouge polish. Because it is rounded smooth it interacts gently with the spring loaded pins in the lock so it goes into a lock like puff of air.

It is a .25 cent key blank I spent two weeks working on and I carry it like an expensive ring because ordinary things are very special to autistic people. We love them.

I am speaking honestly when I say I would really love to use your key. That sounds amazing! You can definitely be proud of this achievement, and it was really interesting to hear about how keys work. This text made me think of a faucet in the sports hall where I play badminton. The stream of water it gives is perfect. It's powerful, but also clear and doesn't have air bubbles when the water flows. It hits the center directly and the water is very cold to boot (just how I like it). It doesn't give off noise (except for the water hitting the sink), it doesn't creak when you activate it (no rust or dirt), and there is plenty of space between the faucet "head" and the bottom of the sink in case you have a bottle to fill up or want to drink directly from the stream as I often do.

A member of the forums (@Pink Jazz) asked about our favourite faucets a few months back. I couldn't think of anything at the moment, but I felt like I understood him when I operated this one. I can't remember the manufacturer as I'm bad at names, but I completely agree with everything you just said about how satisfying it is when everything just works. I also relate to what you said about pretending to be dumber than you are to be more accepted. I stopped giving the precise time down to the minute and second (if I knew) because of how annoyed people got with me.

 

[Shimofuri-tan]

I wrote a lot so I will try to make this short. There are pins inside a lock pushed down by springs, when a key goes in it lifts the pins against those springs to just the right height so the pins are out of the way and let the lock turn. The cuts in a key are to the right depth to move the pins just right.

If you had a key copied at a hardware store, it might be close to right but you might also have problems, like a click or having to pull it out a little or push it in a little more to make it turn.

That is because the cuts for a key are coded to exact depths to hundreds of an inch. Each depth is given a single digit number value. Not this key but an example would be 83795. When you know the key code you can make the first cut to the depth of what 8 represents in that brand of lock.

The cuts also need to be in the right spot, not too far forward or back. Hardware store key cutting machines .. I do not think the people there know how to calibrate their machines so the cuts are in the right spot. They can do okay but not like this key. My key is perfect.

On this key I stamped the word "code" to remind me this is not a copy from another key, which always makes it less accurate, but a key blank cut using code-keys (keys with all number 8 cuts or 7 etc, precisely). I also calibrate my machine each time before I make a key.

That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out.

Did you notice how this key has no sharp peaks? I did by hand using a file, a "smooth cut". I removed very precisely all the material that was not needed to open the lock. I polished it with wet dry sand paper and jeweler's rouge polish. Because it is rounded smooth it interacts gently with the spring loaded pins in the lock so it goes into a lock like puff of air.

I read that multiple times. It's incredible. Thank for explaining the process so well and sharing the picture. I especially liked: "That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out." Even 'professionals' lack this sort of awareness.

There is nothing more pleasing to me than making something that is precise. For example, I often prefer to draw on a computer rather than paper because I can be more accurate with my lines that way. I have unlimited tries to get them just right, the perfect thickness, the perfect arc, etc. Paper smudges and tears. Also, on the computer I can make a document 4200 x 4800 pixels, can zoom in 300%, and use a brush 3 pixels in size. It's really hard to pull away from this once I begin. The work is never done. The thought of 'completing' a drawing is almost painful to consider sometimes.

I often don't like to add color because I think it distracts from the beauty of the lines. Lines are genuine. At times, it's difficult for me to understand why people prefer "finished" artwork to linework. Why is linework only a stage of the process? To me, it is the whole process. Here is an example of something I've done:

This image is a bit large, so I'm sorry for that. I did this awhile ago. This was for someone, so I had a bit of a time limit and had to call it 'finished' though there were other things I would liked to have done to it. Creating this detail, feeling the smoothness of the lines, the intense focus, is pure satisfaction to me. It feels sort of like freedom. And security. I can't disappoint this linework. I don't have to impress it or come up with the words to say or put on a pretense. The lines and I work together, happily and successfully.

An interesting thing: Once, I decided to change up my style. I tried to emulate some stuff I saw other people doing. I made sloppier lines, scribbled some color haphazardly, and set a time limit. It wasn't nearly as enjoyable. The drawing was so disorderly. But when I showed other people, it seemed like there was a greater response to that style. Why though? It was unfortunate.

You understand. Another person understands. I never thought in my lifetime I would know that another person understood.

Likewise

 

[Richelle-H]

Welcome Sarah. I find you fascinating from your posts. I liked that piece of artwork you posted a great deal. I only do what I call doodling, examples of which are elsewhere on the site. Anyway, a drawing should evoke some kind of response and there is no predicting how others will react to something we create.

I myself prefer doodling on artboard with pen and ink. There is something much more tactile and immediate for me. I could probably do the kind of thing I do on a computer, but I prefer the immediacy of a line on a hard surface, the tactile feedback and the adaptation needed to correct anything you might perceive as a minor error. It is stimulating and satisfying when you make it work. I only started doodling again recently after a couple of decades of doing other stuff with my time. Now that I am retired I have more time to invest in the many interests that I collected over the course of my life.

Anyway, your last post spoke to me in ways difficult to express. I would dearly love to see more of your work if you are comfortable sharing.

 

[grommet]

I am speaking honestly when I say I would really love to use your key. That sounds amazing! You can definitely be proud of this achievement, and it was really interesting to hear about how keys work. This text made me think of a faucet in the sports hall where I play badminton. The stream of water it gives is perfect. It's powerful, but also clear and doesn't have air bubbles when the water flows. It hits the center directly and the water is very cold to boot (just how I like it). It doesn't give off noise (except for the water hitting the sink), it doesn't creak when you activate it (no rust or dirt), and there is plenty of space between the faucet "head" and the bottom of the sink in case you have a bottle to fill up or want to drink directly from the stream as I often do.

A member of the forums (@Pink Jazz) asked about our favourite faucets a few months back. I couldn't think of anything at the moment, but I felt like I understood him when I operated this one. I can't remember the manufacturer as I'm bad at names, but I completely agree with everything you just said about how satisfying it is when everything just works. I also relate to what you said about pretending to be dumber than you are to be more accepted. I stopped giving the precise time down to the minute and second (if I knew) because of how annoyed people got with me.

You really understand You really do understand. Yes, it is like that faucet. You noticed the faucet and everything about it that was right and it makes you happy. I am like that. I feel happy about things every day. Growing up and then being in my twenties all the people around me talked about spending so much money going to concerts or buying expensive clothes, things like that. I never understood it. I could not see any reason to be passionate about those things.

I loved when the carpenter working on our house taught me about two-part resin. Two liquids that did nothing until he mixed them and they got hard. Wonderful! There was a watering stake brought by the person who planted trees at the house. It was a long metal stake that was hollow. It had a beveled tip with a hole in it that went through the hollow stake to the top where there was a glad chamber.

One side of the chamber had a valve and the other had threading for the garden hose. You pushed the stake deep into the ground so it could reach the roots of the new baby trees (they must be so big and old now) then turned the water on and in the glass tube you could see a vortex. I would watch and listen to that so happy. I did not understand why the kids were so excited about smoking pot and getting beer. I liked that watering stake.

Autistic people, we get to enjoy things non-autistic people cannot. It seems that way to me. I cannot be certain for all people but we love objects and sounds and patterns in ways that NT's seem to need to take drugs to feel. I will have intense overwhelming pleasure because of a perfect shadow I see, or the breeze being just right, or a smell or a lock that is solid and clicks just right when you close it.

I am thinking about a lot of things now, too many. Good thoughts but too many at once thinking about things I like and want to talk about.


I am glad you play badminton. It is the most physical game I have ever played. I cannot do things like that any more but I am happy you can. I always liked the birdie, is it called a birdie? It moved so slow and so incredibly fast. No matter how hard you hit it moves at the speed it wants to. You cannot make it move faster. I like things that stand up for themselves.

Thank you for chatting with me

 

[grommet]

I read that multiple times. It's incredible. Thank for explaining the process so well and sharing the picture. I especially liked: "That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out." Even 'professionals' lack this sort of awareness.

There is nothing more pleasing to me than making something that is precise. For example, I often prefer to draw on a computer rather than paper because I can be more accurate with my lines that way. I have unlimited tries to get them just right, the perfect thickness, the perfect arc, etc. Paper smudges and tears. Also, on the computer I can make a document 4200 x 4800 pixels, can zoom in 300%, and use a brush 3 pixels in size. It's really hard to pull away from this once I begin. The work is never done. The thought of 'completing' a drawing is almost painful to consider sometimes.

I often don't like to add color because I think it distracts from the beauty of the lines. Lines are genuine. At times, it's difficult for me to understand why people prefer "finished" artwork to linework. Why is linework only a stage of the process? To me, it is the whole process. Here is an example of something I've done:

View attachment 96487

This image is a bit large, so I'm sorry for that. I did this awhile ago. This was for someone, so I had a bit of a time limit and had to call it 'finished' though there were other things I would liked to have done to it. Creating this detail, feeling the smoothness of the lines, the intense focus, is pure satisfaction to me. It feels sort of like freedom. And security. I can't disappoint this linework. I don't have to impress it or come up with the words to say or put on a pretense. The lines and I work together, happily and successfully.

An interesting thing: Once, I decided to change up my style. I tried to emulate some stuff I saw other people doing. I made sloppier lines, scribbled some color haphazardly, and set a time limit. It wasn't nearly as enjoyable. The drawing was so disorderly. But when I showed other people, it seemed like there was a greater response to that style. Why though? It was unfortunate.


Likewise

To me lines are the most wonderful thing in the world. They are so peaceful and perfect and clean. They can be on ugly thing or on the horizon. I have never felt the same since a roommate taught me that in calculus any shape can be reduced to a straight line. I did not like that. He showed me and it made sense. Maybe I am naming the wrong math but I think that is the right one.

I like long lines that are lonely. All by themselves they go off into space or into the dark.

In a drawing they have so much power. You can see muscles quiver but how, the lines aren't moving. But you can see the quiver. A beautiful face drawn with black lines, made stern or intelligent or three emotions at once. How is the possible, so much at once and with only lines? Artists can do that. They can tell a whole story with just a little bit. Or make you laugh or feel sad, like a broken heart.

Sometimes artists do things that are subtle. Not hidden, they are right there, but you do not see it right away. You think you see a drawing and after a while you think you know it well but then one time you look at it quickly forgetting to remember that you already know that is there and for the first time you see something different and it changes id a deep way what the character is. You never saw that little gleam in the eye - the character is enjoying the violence. Do you still like them now you know that? Or they are not as happy as you thought, you see some sadness and it was supposed to be their happiest moment. Artists can do that.

I wish I could say something really nice about your drawing but there are too many separate shapes in it for me to look at. I tried but I keep getting drawn at almost the same time to different parts so I can't keep looking at it.

It looks like all the lines are the same thickness. Can you use thinner and thicker lines?

I think I understand the focus you feel when you draw your own things. Precision is a joy and drawing what is inside you and have to make is such a good feeling. Getting it out and going yes, that is it.

I am very surprised you found what I wrote interesting. I do not think anyone has ever thought anything I did or thought was interesting. But maybe I am misunderstanding.

Years ago a woman in the in-person autism group I went to talked about her $5,000 sewing machine and I told her I wanted to see it. She was so happy I was interested but I never did go and she was sad and even a little mad at me. I thought I understood what she was feeling, thinking I had pretended I was interested and once again she was let down. But it was simply practical. I use a wheelchair and could not get up the stairs in her home. She did not believe me when I explained, she seemed stuck being sad I did not come. I really did want to see it. I love sewing. I do not know how to do it well but I like it very much.

Even 'professionals' lack this sort of awareness.

You saying that reminded me of something. Once I was thinking about buying a key cutting machine that cost thousands. I spoke to a locksmith at Silca, the company. He had been a locksmith for more than 30 years and answered all the technical questions for people but I knew more than he did about some things. I was not trying to, it just happened. He did not even know their machines could be programmed to make a smooth-cut key (like my picture) and they can, it's right there as an option in the machine's menu. Even with the words "smooth cut". He did not even seem to know what that kind of cut was.

The professional machine made by the company he answered technical questions about, did things he did not know about and I did.

I once met Dawn Riley, one of the most famous female sailors in the world. Actually I met her a few times. It would be a huge thread talking about what she did. I will just say she was the first woman to skipper a boat in the Whitbread 'round the world. It is an incredibly hard and dangerous around the world sailboat race. People die. Just one thing she did.

She was very nice and approachable. I taught her how to tie a buntline hitch. She did not know anything about that knot. You know what she said? She said she had never seen it and thank you for teaching her. I think that is what real good people do, they are glad to learn something.

Anyhow, I write too much and still cannot really say what I am thinking but I tried.

 

[Shimofuri-tan]

It looks like all the lines are the same thickness. Can you use thinner and thicker lines?

I think I understand the focus you feel when you draw your own things. Precision is a joy and drawing what is inside you and have to make is such a good feeling. Getting it out and going yes, that is it.

I am very surprised you found what I wrote interesting. I do not think anyone has ever thought anything I did or thought was interesting. But maybe I am misunderstanding.

The changes in thickness are subtle. These differences are very apparent to me, I think because my eyes are so trained when it comes to this sort of detail. I can understand why it would be difficult to look at the drawing as a whole. For me, studying these lines is exhilarating. I’ve thought before, myself, that it’s like drugs (you mentioned this in a previous post). I’ve often thought I could spend every day, all day making line work and that would be a productive life. Regardless, I appreciate you giving me the space to talk about this! Sorry if I said too much. I’m also sorry if I’m too poetic or philosophical sounding—that’s just how I speak when I write. It takes me a (painfully) long time to figure out what I want to say, and no matter what it never seems right. Also, I’m a little nervous because this is such a personal thing.

I did think your key and what you wrote about it was interesting! It was inspiring to me. Thinking about and discussing these things has genuinely made me happy. People don’t just readily share things like that. You have a certain mastery over ordinary things that isn’t achievable by others. I’m grateful!

Speaking of faucets and keys, when I was younger, I was interested in reflections. My dad had an electric guitar he would prop up against a desk. I would lay on my stomach on the carpet in front of it and spend a long time just looking at myself in the surface. Because of the angle of the guitar, it looked like I was on a slope, and it made me a little dizzy. It was mesmerizing somehow. Spoons, Christmas ornaments, metal chairs… I was also interested in doorknobs. The copper smell, the way they twist, the resistance felt when turning, the sound of the springs, the different texture and shapes of them. I have an aversion to loose door knobs. They make me anxious. I really enjoy going to hardware/home improvement places. I love the smell of rubber tubing specifically. I am fascinated by the lights and ceiling fans. I like to look at bathroom tile, touch sample carpet squares, etc. You can have many sensory experiences at a place like that!

 

[grommet]

The changes in thickness are subtle. These differences are very apparent to me, I think because my eyes are so trained when it comes to this sort of detail. I can understand why it would be difficult to look at the drawing as a whole. For me, studying these lines is exhilarating. I’ve thought before, myself, that it’s like drugs (you mentioned this in a previous post). I’ve often thought I could spend every day, all day making line work and that would be a productive life. Regardless, I appreciate you giving me the space to talk about this! Sorry if I said too much. I’m also sorry if I’m too poetic or philosophical sounding—that’s just how I speak when I write. It takes me a (painfully) long time to figure out what I want to say, and no matter what it never seems right. Also, I’m a little nervous because this is such a personal thing.

I did think your key and what you wrote about it was interesting! It was inspiring to me. Thinking about and discussing these things has genuinely made me happy. People don’t just readily share things like that. You have a certain mastery over ordinary things that isn’t achievable by others. I’m grateful!

Speaking of faucets and keys, when I was younger, I was interested in reflections. My dad had an electric guitar he would prop up against a desk. I would lay on my stomach on the carpet in front of it and spend a long time just looking at myself in the surface. Because of the angle of the guitar, it looked like I was on a slope, and it made me a little dizzy. It was mesmerizing somehow. Spoons, Christmas ornaments, metal chairs… I was also interested in doorknobs. The copper smell, the way they twist, the resistance felt when turning, the sound of the springs, the different texture and shapes of them. I have an aversion to loose door knobs. They make me anxious. I really enjoy going to hardware/home improvement places. I love the smell of rubber tubing specifically. I am fascinated by the lights and ceiling fans. I like to look at bathroom tile, touch sample carpet squares, etc. You can have many sensory experiences at a place like that!

You said more than I can respond to here, I sent you a DM (Direct Message) but,

"I really enjoy going to hardware/home improvement places. I love the smell of rubber tubing specifically. I am fascinated by the lights and ceiling fans. I like to look at bathroom tile, touch sample carpet squares, etc. You can have many sensory experiences at a place like that!"

Sigh, pleasure. Those things are wonderful. Carpet samples are heaven and cool hard bathroom tiles and yes I love the rubber smell too, maybe my favorite part. I love home improvement stores, maybe may favorite place.

 

[Shimofuri-tan]

Welcome Sarah. I find you fascinating from your posts. I liked that piece of artwork you posted a great deal. I only do what I call doodling, examples of which are elsewhere on the site. Anyway, a drawing should evoke some kind of response and there is no predicting how others will react to something we create.

I myself prefer doodling on artboard with pen and ink. There is something much more tactile and immediate for me. I could probably do the kind of thing I do on a computer, but I prefer the immediacy of a line on a hard surface, the tactile feedback and the adaptation needed to correct anything you might perceive as a minor error. It is stimulating and satisfying when you make it work. I only started doodling again recently after a couple of decades of doing other stuff with my time. Now that I am retired I have more time to invest in the many interests that I collected over the course of my life.

Anyway, your last post spoke to me in ways difficult to express. I would dearly love to see more of your work if you are comfortable sharing.

Hello! I don’t think anyone has ever found me fascinating, I will say I’m flattered! There is something very pleasing/liberating about the way pen feels on paper. I used to loathe pens because I get so fixated on even minor errors in my line work. But then I started drawing faces from photographs with fine liner pens in my sketchbook, sort of as an experiment. I quickly stopped caring about likeness. I made shapes out of shadows and highlights. Used random lines to connect, for example, an eyebrow to the hairline (part of that adaptation you mention!). Almost like automatism? Have you ever tried a brush pen? They are a lot of fun!

I have included a few things I have done recently. They each have a long way to go, clearly! But these are examples of the amount of detail I like to do in my drawings. Though they appear incomplete, they represent hours of work already! Thank you for being interested, it means so much to me. Nobody ever asks to see my artwork. I hope the amount of drawings I chose to include isn't obnoxious; I just couldn't decide what to share (what is truly obnoxious is the fact that the middle three all have fox/animal ears, haha. I can't help but realize).

 

[WiffingWaffles]

I read that multiple times. It's incredible. Thank for explaining the process so well and sharing the picture. I especially liked: "That is still not what makes this key special and I wonder if even locksmiths would figure it out." Even 'professionals' lack this sort of awareness.

There is nothing more pleasing to me than making something that is precise. For example, I often prefer to draw on a computer rather than paper because I can be more accurate with my lines that way. I have unlimited tries to get them just right, the perfect thickness, the perfect arc, etc. Paper smudges and tears. Also, on the computer I can make a document 4200 x 4800 pixels, can zoom in 300%, and use a brush 3 pixels in size. It's really hard to pull away from this once I begin. The work is never done. The thought of 'completing' a drawing is almost painful to consider sometimes.

I often don't like to add color because I think it distracts from the beauty of the lines. Lines are genuine. At times, it's difficult for me to understand why people prefer "finished" artwork to linework. Why is linework only a stage of the process? To me, it is the whole process. Here is an example of something I've done:

View attachment 96487

This image is a bit large, so I'm sorry for that. I did this awhile ago. This was for someone, so I had a bit of a time limit and had to call it 'finished' though there were other things I would liked to have done to it. Creating this detail, feeling the smoothness of the lines, the intense focus, is pure satisfaction to me. It feels sort of like freedom. And security. I can't disappoint this linework. I don't have to impress it or come up with the words to say or put on a pretense. The lines and I work together, happily and successfully.

An interesting thing: Once, I decided to change up my style. I tried to emulate some stuff I saw other people doing. I made sloppier lines, scribbled some color haphazardly, and set a time limit. It wasn't nearly as enjoyable. The drawing was so disorderly. But when I showed other people, it seemed like there was a greater response to that style. Why though? It was unfortunate.


Likewise

you create as well?