Greetings. Hopefully you'll find what you are looking for here.
I have to admit to being a bit confused about your message. What was your husband's betrayal? Did he cheat on you, and is now in a relationship with the person he cheated on you with?
Cheating on your spouse doesn't seem like a nice thing to do, and I think many people on the forum would indeed find it quite cold-hearted. Even selfish. That doesn't mean that him being autistic contributed to him cheating on you, as there isn't a correlation between cheating on one's partner and being autistic as far as I know. Anecdotally, the opposite seems to be the case.
Speaking personally, I think your time is better spent on healing yourself and rebuilding rather than pining for a new start with someone who's thoughts and longings you ultimately can't control. Whether his new wife/girlfriend finds him selfish is now their problem, not yours. I know many on the forums (including me) can be very stubborn once they make a decision. That goes doubly so if he wronged you, and returning would create an awkward situation.
It doesn't mean you need to completely cut him off (for instance if you want to stay friends), but I see it as a big load to put on yourself to grasp for something you have no control over. Better to focus on what you can control to gain some agency and increase your confidence. I think it would make you feel better over the long run.
Greetings. Hopefully you'll find what you are looking for here.
I have to admit to being a bit confused about your message. What was your husband's betrayal? Did he cheat on you, and is now in a relationship with the person he cheated on you with?
Cheating on your spouse doesn't seem like a nice thing to do, and I think many people on the forum would indeed find it quite cold-hearted. Even selfish. That doesn't mean that him being autistic contributed to him cheating on you, as there isn't a correlation between cheating on one's partner and being autistic as far as I know. Anecdotally, the opposite seems to be the case.
Speaking personally, I think your time is better spent on healing yourself and rebuilding rather than pining for a new start with someone who's thoughts and longings you ultimately can't control. Whether his new wife/girlfriend finds him selfish is now their problem, not yours. I know many on the forums (including me) can be very stubborn once they make a decision. That goes doubly so if he wronged you, and returning would create an awkward situation.
It doesn't mean you need to completely cut him off (for instance if you want to stay friends), but I see it as a big load to put on yourself to grasp for something you have no control over. Better to focus on what you can control to gain some agency and increase your confidence. I think it would make you feel better over the long run.
Hi, yes he did cheat on me. It is very hard for me at the moment, as I keep asking myself what next. All my dreams and hopes been shattered, but like you say, I need to heal and I'm so far away from that yet, as its been only 3 months.
