High school reunion

[Ronald Zeeman]

I would rather have a college reunion, only five of us. If you count the micro graduates add four more, seventy started in first year nine graduated 3rd year. One is my closest living friend. I suspect we are all retired now.

 

[Cryptid]

I've attended some high school reunions, most recently our 50th reunion . . . It surprised me how many of my classmates have already died or are in nursing homes with dementia or whatever.

It surprised me how many "bullies" and "mean girls" have died while engaging in some form of risky behavior. Many more died after engaging in risky behavior, but only after months or years of suffering.

Those "Hold my beer and watch this" moments can be just as deadly as gunshots, and engaging in unprotected sex with multiple partners while doing drugs is just plain stupid.

One issue that always leaves me sad is that none of those "bullies" and "mean girls" ever apologized for treating me (and others) badly. So I wonder what becomes of the soul of an unrepentant person?

I may never know.

 

[Kalinychta]

I’m pretty sure I know the answer but am hoping to feel some validation.

My 20 year high school reunion is coming up. Should I go? My reason for going is fear of missing out. Reasons for not going: I didn’t really connect with people in high school who would be there, and I would most likely get overstimulated and not enjoy it. But I don’t want to miss out. Thoughts?

If the decision to go or not to go is bothering you, this suggests, possibly, that you do kind of want to go? It couldn’t hurt, going. If you get overstimulated you could always just leave. The people you didn’t connect with in high school are perhaps connectable-with now. People change as they grow. It’s always better to do things than to not do them.

 

[Mary Terry]

It surprised me how many "bullies" and "mean girls" have died while engaging in some form of risky behavior. Many more died after engaging in risky behavior, but only after months or years of suffering.

Those "Hold my beer and watch this" moments can be just as deadly as gunshots, and engaging in unprotected sex with multiple partners while doing drugs is just plain stupid.

One issue that always leaves me sad is that none of those "bullies" and "mean girls" ever apologized for treating me (and others) badly. So I wonder what becomes of the soul of an unrepentant person?

I may never know.

The ones in my class who have died generally died of cancer, heart attacks or other illnesses. I wonder if bullies and mean girls just grow up to be adult bullies and mean women or if some of them do gain insight and regret their childhood behaviors.

From what I've read, bullies often have had traumatic experiences of their own and are acting out what has happened to them. They've been hurt and derive some kind of comfort from hurting others. I really don't know their motivations.

 

[Cryptid]

Bullying is as bullying does. The mere fact that some of them may have had traumatic experiences of their own does not absolve them from "acting out" and bullying others. They made their choices, so the onus is entirely on them --not society, not their parents, and certainly not their victims.

Anyway . . . I fully doubt that the remainder of my H.S. graduating class would even notice if I did show up. They certainly won't notice if I don't.

 

[Kalinychta]

Bullying is as bullying does. The mere fact that some of them may have had traumatic experiences of their own does not absolve them from "acting out" and bullying others. They made their choices, so the onus is entirely on them --not society, not their parents, and certainly not their victims.

Anyway . . . I fully doubt that the remainder of my H.S. graduating class would even notice if I did show up. They certainly won't notice if I don't.

I don’t think it’s about absolution or excuses or choice, particularly when it comes to children. Bullying actually most often is the result of bad parents, an unstable home life, a screwed up society, pressure, emotional stress, &c. Kids can be horrible, and I think it’s mostly out of fear and confusion. And when horrible kids become adults, oftentimes they regret their behavior very much. Sometimes they don’t, of course. But quite a lot of the time they do.

So, if you were bullied, it’s actually probable that quite a few in your high school graduating class would remember you. I actually vividly remember all of the kids in my schools, from elementary to high, who were bullied. I was an “accessory” to bullying definitely more than once when I was a kid, and I still think about those kids several times a year and hope they’re okay now.

 

[AuAL]

I was on the founding committee of our school’s Old Boys’ Association. (Yes, it was a single sex school. It is also a school that no longer exists - it was disestablished a year after I completed.)

I have been to as many of our annual dinners as I have been able. (I now live over 900 km - 560 miles - from my home town, so it costs me about $500 to attend.) I meet up with old friends from school days, and establish friendly relations with contemporaries with whom I had no significant social interaction at school - as we age we change!

Why do I do it? Some of the people I see there are old friends. (I DID have some in school…) They knew me when I was young. (This is a declining cohort.) I establish a connection with people with whom I now find I have some degree of “connection”. I’m that sort of person? I’m empathetic and interested in people? (I know, shocking! ) OK, I meet some of them again and realise why we weren’t friends in school, but that’s not many. (None of my bullies have ever turned up. I am actually interested in what might happen.) I have fun.