How can I stop people sneaking up behind me and scaring me?

[Horsegirl]

Kids at my school constantly do it. I hate it. Like, I'll be walking and somebody will just come up behind me and SCREAM IN MY FREAKING EAR and run away cackling like a bunch of deranged pelicans (yes that's the best insult I can think of) and I hate it!!!
This happens (and I swear I'm not exaggerating) 15ish times per day.
I'm not sure if this is because of autism, but I jump really easily. And kids realize this. And use it to their advantage. They seem to think it's pretty funny.
And get this... someone did just that, took a picture of it, turned it into a meme and SHOWED IT TO MY ENTIRE SCIENCE CLASS!!!
This has gotten to the point where I end up getting my best friend to go to my locker and get my stuff (we have each other's locker combos it makes life easier haha) from it. Because kids will come up behind me and scream at me when I'm at my locker.
I can't get them to stop!!! I mean, when I'm with my best friend she usually tells them to stop but we have no classes together minus band since she's in French and I'm in English, so it doesn't really help much.
And I usually take ten or fifteen seconds thinking about what I want to say before I say it which doesn't leave enough time.

And yes I know this probably seems like something that would not be a big deal but it has gotten to the point where I am scared to walk in the hall because kids will scream at me. And it's a pain in my rear end because I have enough to deal with at school without this

 

[Fino]

Are you allowed to wear headphones?

 

[Horsegirl]

Are you allowed to wear headphones?

Not headphones no. But I wear earplugs. But honestly they do nothing other than make me look weird

 

[sidd851]

Wow.
You've been having a rough time at your school.
I wish I had something definitive to offer.
All I can suggest is, you've been officially diagnosed, I would think that the school would be obligated to provide at least a little well-aimed discipline.
I know it might not seem all that great, but, have you considered talking to one of your counselors?
A school counselor knows about what it's
like to want to fit in, and be left alone.
A counselor can sometimes make things happen without making it worse on you.
They've been there, done that, and they can be pretty crafty, too.

 

[Horsegirl]

I guess I could do that, though I'm not entirely sure what they could do about it. Unless they follow me around constantly (which A. Would not happen and B. I would hate) there isn't really much they could do.

 

[Horsegirl]

And yeah I have no clue why I ever thought I'd like high school.
It's kinda like that moment when you're riding and your horse spooks and you feel yourself flying up and down and you want to calm the horse down but you can't because you need someone to calm you down.

And yes this is a weird analogy... but its happened to me too many times haha

 

[sidd851]

You might be surprised.
I also had similar troubles in school.
It was a looooong time ago, yes.
It seems that there are always those bullies and trouble makers.
And, sometimes even normal, otherwise good kids fall prey to being popular or fitting in.
I went to my school counselors several times, even though I really didn't want to.

I'm going to tell you, some of the ways they helped me were downright slick, at times.
They... Helped.
Oh, there were still bullies, but, each time I had to speak to a counselor, they were...
well, darnit, they were kind, helpful, and sometimes slick.
I never got any backlash, or worse treatment. They did things in ways that targeted the bullies without exposing me, that I had gone to them.

 

[Horsegirl]

Oh I guess I might as well give it a try then... I don't see why not. Plus anything that could possibly be helpful I will try because I have enough to handle at school and this is just one more thing

 

[sidd851]

Remember: to a very large degree, you are in control, when you speak to a counselor.
Let them know, first, that you want the right to accept or refuse any assistance.
That you want to fit in better and not be a target.
Aaaaand, if after talking, maybe a couple of times, your counselor says something like:
"You know what? Don't worry about a thing.
I'm gonna fix this now.", or something similar,
just let him or her do what they're going to do. This happened a couple of times, with me. It... always turned out well.
I don't want to go into detail, but most counselors care, and will... bend the rules to do what's right.
I know. I've been there.
Just have a little faith, and...
Hang in there.

 

[Suzanne]

Ahhh, you do have a good friend there and because she is willing to help, keep doing it that way.

What would be the goal of going to an adult? Because, sadly, it will make things worse.

I jump at the least sound and that is even ones I course.

 

[Horsegirl]

How do you think it would make things worse?
And yes she is an amazing friend

 

[sidd851]

Ahhh, you do have a good friend there and because she is willing to help, keep doing it that way.

What would be the goal of going to an adult? Because, sadly, it will make things worse.

I jump at the least sound and that is even ones I course.

As I said, my experiences, after telling the counselors that I didn't want anyone to know that I came to them, respected my wishes, and helped end the difficulties in ways that I couldn't imagine.
Counselors generally will do anything to help good students and people, at least in my experience.
That @Horsegirl has sensitivities that other students don't, makes this far more severe than "normal bullying".
She should have the chance for the same experiences and enjoyment in school as any other student.
Any teacher worth their salt would go to bat for this principle. Or any counselor.
If it weren't for the help of those counselors-
Well, I am eternally grateful.
They made middle and high school something that I could bear, enjoy.

 

[Suzanne]

How do you think it would make things worse?
And yes she is an amazing friend

If they, knowing you have autism and yet, mock you, this tells me, that they will mock you even more, unless the adult does to them, what they do to you. Now that would probably stop them, because they received a "taste of their own medicine".

 

[Progster]

Oh I guess I might as well give it a try then... I don't see why not. Plus anything that could possibly be helpful I will try because I have enough to handle at school and this is just one more thing

Yes, do this. Your meeting with them should be confidential anyway, but you should also make it clear that you don't want the bullies to know that you went to talk to them, that you are concerned about this.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

I had a co-worker at my first job when I was fifteen who would do that to me, too.. several times a day. It was horrible.
If you're being targeted for bullying based on your having a disability, isn't that a hate crime in some places?

 

[Major Tom]

Start kicking people in the nuts! Kidding, that would drive me up the wall too. I have no good advice. Sorry.

 

[Graphin]

I thought this is something like I often do, I walk quietly and people somehow don't pay attention to me, it's like a talent.
No I am not intentionally doing that or doing scares like that.

 

[Pats]

My son is so quiet by nature I never hear him walk into the room and then when I see him I jump. He laughs but he's not doing it intentionally.
Kids can be cruel. And when they find out a weakness, they use it. I don't think it's always meant in a bullying way, but it gets them laughs and that's all they're seeing. Like, I remember when we were kids and my sister tattled all the time and was always yelling, "Mom". A song came out "If you wanna see her do her thing, pull her string". So we'd pretend to pull her string and she'd yell Mom (that was her thing). It worked every time so we kept doing it. If she had stopped, we would had stopped because it would not have been funny or fun any more.
My brother used to catch me barefoot and grab me and run me up and down the driveway with pointy rocks. So every spring, I'd beat him to the punch and do it myself to get my feet used to it so it failed his accomplishment of torturing me.
If you could somehow make yourself immune to the scares - carry a mirror on your books so you can see people coming. I know it's really hard to stop or control a natural response.

 

[Mary Terry]

The only way to stop them is to show no response when they do it. I know that is easier said than done, but they do it because you react to them. If you don't react (other than maybe rolling your eyes at their juvenile behavior), then they will lose interest and stop. I also think you should discretely talk to the school counselor about it because it is a form of bullying.

 

[Nervous Rex]

My aunt grew up with 4 ... "lively" ... brothers. They were always trying to scare her. She developed the reflex that if anyone scared her, she immediately swung her fist around in a circle behind her.

It only took me once to learn not to scare her.