@Amethystgirl, I have been pondering your post since yesterday, and have read everyone's responses. I am not sure I have much to offer, but I do have some perspective on aging. Coincidentally, you joined the forums on the day I celebrated my 77th birthday.
I have always felt a bit disconnected from my body, as if it were an uncomfortable suit that chafed and irritated more often than not. While my body has gone through many changes that I would rather have done without, I have a clear connection to every single moment in time. I have always been a stranger in a strange land, constantly adapting to each new experience as it came along.
Bored by school, I played the game and did well but probably never made the most of it. I tried college but spent most of it playing contract bridge in the dorm and ignoring some classes completely (.obviously, I never graduated with a degree).
When I finally joined the work force, I found that bored me as well, and paid little attention to the daily grind. What sustained me through that were my passions and interests as I drifted from job to job until I hit my 50's. The only emotional crisis I experienced started on my 31st birthday and lasted for nearly three months. Maybe that was because I honestly thought I would be dead by 30, but was probably much more complex than that.
The thing about growing older, aside from the obvious physical changes that occur, is that it is more or less a state of mind. I have always been one who was future oriented. That is were my soul resides, hoping for better times. There I am still 38 and in my prime. If one is not aging, then one is dead and cannot experience those moments of pleasure and discovery that comes with each new day.
I choose to experience life, rather than worry about it ending or degrading due to my advancing years. I am still active and enjoying whatever time I have left instead of focusing on the negatives that come along the body's natural deterioration. The mind plays a role in that. If you think you are old, then your body takes that in and possibly reacts. Most people I meet assume I am as much as 15 years younger and that has been true through much of my adult life. It may be due to genetics, but my siblings all showed their true age more readily than I, as they grew older, so maybe my mind set has held things at arms length a bit better as far as aging goes.
I guess it comes down to just ignoring the changes that cannot be denied or improved through other means. True, I can no longer do many of the things I did when I was younger. I miss some of those, but I keep moving forward hoping to experience something new and unexpected in whatever time I have left. For me, dwelling on the past and ruing what might have been does nothing but chafe at one's soul.
From my own experience, I will say that trying to predict your own future at any age is a waste of time. Living has its own rewards, even when it seems that one has no future. Relaxing and trying to enjoy those tiny moments that come along on a regular basis is the best way I know to get through it all.
Take care of yourself, maybe indulge yourself from time to time, even if it is on something completely frivolous. Your life can be better than you imagine if you stay positive about it, but then I am no expert. I am just offering how I have gotten past those moments that are best forgotten.
As the Vulcans would have it: Live Long and Prosper.
