How do aspies/auties feel about holidays like christmas?

[Kirsty]

If I were you, I'd book affordable accommodation now before it's too late as they go pretty fast for Christmas. I might do this, but I'm not sure what's happening yet regarding seeing friends again.

 

[Mia]

If I were you, I'd book affordable accommodation now

Already have Kirsty, looking forward to something entirely different.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Holidays are just another day for me. I don't celebrate any so I just kind of go on with my day as normal.

 

[fairy_girl]

Growing up I always enjoyed the gifts that I got and staying with family for a few days to celebrate it. It was slightly nerve wracking being surrounded with loud excited cousins and the constant flashings of cameras going off as I carefully opened my wrapping paper and saw what I got. The gifts were always special to me (except for the itchy sweaters) during those times. Easter I enjoyed because it was finding eggs that were in the backyard and it was quiet as everyone watched everyone find the eggs.

Now that I'm an adult, I just buy myself gifts that I want that I wait on.

My parents weren't that religious but we did used to go to church during Easter and it really kind of bored me. I do understand the meaning of both but I don't practice it at all. I have my own religion separate from my family and that's good.

 

[WereBear]

Nothing is ever one thing.

You are right. I treasure family Christmases that were like that... when I was a child.

This was also when I observed the adult women did all the work. I decided that would ruin it for me, and so that has never been a part of my own celebrations.

 

[Crossbreed]

If we want to get real and celebrate it some time in the fall, and be honest that we don't know the exact day he was born and quit trying to play out this smoke and mirrors nightmare... I would be much more interested.

I've seen a really good rationale about how His birthday might have been on the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot)...

 

[Chance]

I've seen a really good rationale about how His birthday might have been on the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot)...

Makes more sense than using it as a cover for winter solstice... If people would just be spiritually honest...
I would have no issue with it. If you want to do winter solstice have at it... Just be honest about it.

I'm a logical nightmare... + People don't hold a census in the dead of winter where people will die traveling. It also mentions harvests and taxes... None of this was something that would have benefited anyone in the winter in those days... The Inns were full because it was travel season and maybe it was The Feast of Tabernacles, plus the census, plus selling harvests and gathering winter supplies...

I'm way too passionate about this subject so I better just shut up and not further derail this post... : )

 

[AustinFrom1995]

I find Christmas to be too obnoxious, corporate and Sensory Hell. TBH its my least favorite holiday.

 

[Chance]

Well I was being a guy and found this on shear accident...
But I can do Christmas this way... It even has a Christmas classic playing for your enjoyment... : )

 

[isthisreallife]

I don't see the point in them. It's all very commercial. Christmas makes people act like they wouldn't normally act at any other time of the year. All of a sudden you feel goodwill towards that homeless man who's always on the corner that you normally wouldn't give a second glance towards. You're forced to spend time with family that you really would rather not, and waste exorbitant amounts of money that you don't have. For what purpose? It's not even logical. I don't need presents, I can save and buy myself something that I really want. I'm much happier not having to associate with people I don't want to. I treat people with dignity and respect all year round, I don't need a calendar to dictate to me when I should be kind to people. Honestly, I feel like I'm not from this planet, everything is backwards and counterproductive.

 

[xudo]

every year I still get gifts, even though I'm under orders not to buy for the rest of the Family except my Niece and Nephew.

My sister and I still get stockings You mentioning you niece and nephew has reminded me....we'll have two new ones this Christmas. Two of my sisters in law are pregnant, and they're due in November, within two weeks of each other! One is having a boy and the other a girl. The one having a girl already has a girl (8) and a step son (9)...so add two new babies and yeah...it's going to be loud at the in laws.

Everyone used to go to the in laws over Christmas and it was a great big family thing, which I actually enjoyed because it was so different to how my family had always celebrated. However, my parents in law like a drink (I wouldn't have said they're alcoholics...just drink too much socially and of an evening..) and it's just hard work. All the 'kids' feel the same and it's lead to everyone spending less time there generally and especially over Christmas.

 

[StephF]

Christmas is about children and family. As I have neither I don't do Xmas. No tree , no decorations, no big meal. Its just another day for me.

 

[Kirsty]

Everyone knows I love Christmas. If you don't know, then you do now.

I loved spending time with friends last year.

I have fond memories of my childhood being close with family at Christmas. There were birthdays during this time as well. One down, as my late Grandpa was born on Christmas Eve. I still say happy birthday to him even though he has been gone for about twelve years.

 

[Mr Allen]

My sister and I still get stockings You mentioning you niece and nephew has reminded me....we'll have two new ones this Christmas. Two of my sisters in law are pregnant, and they're due in November, within two weeks of each other! One is having a boy and the other a girl. The one having a girl already has a girl (8) and a step son (9)...so add two new babies and yeah...it's going to be loud at the in laws.

Everyone used to go to the in laws over Christmas and it was a great big family thing, which I actually enjoyed because it was so different to how my family had always celebrated. However, my parents in law like a drink (I wouldn't have said they're alcoholics...just drink too much socially and of an evening..) and it's just hard work. All the 'kids' feel the same and it's lead to everyone spending less time there generally and especially over Christmas.

Aw, if you get chance you'll have to post pics of the new kids, I love kids.

Sadly if I was ever destined to get any of my own, I'd have at least teenagers by now.

 

[xudo]

Aw, if you get chance you'll have to post pics of the new kids, I love kids.

Sadly if I was ever destined to get any of my own, I'd have at least teenagers by now.

I don't really like kids. Never wanted them either. I'm at a loss as to what to do or how to act/interact with kids under the age at which they can talk properly. People usually laugh when they see children trying to interact with me under that age, as I'm like "what do you want". I talk to all children in the exact same way as I would talk to an adult. Apparently that's not "normal" but I obviously don't know how to be any other way.

 

[xudo]

Recently I explained to a good friend that "kids are a mystery to me." His two youngest call me "uncle" and I love them dearly, but I really don't know how to interact with them on any level.

Most people say something like "oh you'll learn" and I'm like...no, I won't. People seem to expect women to just naturally be good with kids because we're all maternal beings whose goal in life is to have children of our own. Women like me who don't have a maternal bone in our bodies and actually don't want kids are seen as weird and selfish. I'm not too bad with our niece and nephew as they're like proper people now (they're 8 and 9) and I love them to bits. My husband has always been the favourite though, as he doesn't have the problems interacting with kids of any age that I do, and he treats them more like kids. I think that maybe when they get to that age where they're desperate to be treated like adults, they'll appreciate the way I interact with them more.

 

[Mr Allen]

I don't really like kids. Never wanted them either. I'm at a loss as to what to do or how to act/interact with kids under the age at which they can talk properly. People usually laugh when they see children trying to interact with me under that age, as I'm like "what do you want". I talk to all children in the exact same way as I would talk to an adult. Apparently that's not "normal" but I obviously don't know how to be any other way.

I'm the opposite, if I see a cute baby in public I'll coo at it and say hello, some Parents don't like that though.

 

[Kirsty]

I grew up as an only child and not allowed to have friends over, so that just added to the social difficulties that already come with being on the spectrum; I never had the opportunity to develop the ability to interact with children. Having a mother that should NOT have had children merely exacerbated the situation.

Same here. Bring an only child doesn't help at all and my mother wasn't able to look after me much even though she was around then she destroyed her life with alcohol.

 

[Gracey]

Regarding the maternal bones and not quite sure how to be around children, I have three and lack some of that maternal instinct. I did however learn what it was I was supposed to be doing by way of night school classes on child development and child psychology and researched ways in which I could help them with things they didn't understand, most of the time, me neither but we figured it out together.

Only when I understood how development works and milestones and language and so on could I forge a picture in my mind of the route; in terms of development, three healthy children would follow. Any big deviation from that anticipated route would be looked at and ways found to guide them back to what could be considered usual for that age and stage.
It's been the most difficult thing I've done to date but the most rewarding in terms of applying myself, focus, adapting, researching and what I consider to be achievement.
I'd have given exactly the same to a career if that had been what I'd chosen.

I was fascinated by how my children viewed their world and spent most of my time trying to see it from their point of view.
I didn't feel it or understand it but trusted the published research that showed it was likely they view this as this and that as something else and can fear this and will mimic that and so on. Using that information I could create the opportunities for them to learn and feel a buzz to watch what was supposed to be happening, happen.
Almost as if I could see the cogs turning in their minds and the information linking up and curiosity being triggered.
It was pretty amazing

 

[xudo]

I grew up as an only child and not allowed to have friends over, so that just added to the social difficulties that already come with being on the spectrum

I have one younger sister (NT) and was allowed to have friends over, just that I didn't really have any to ask.