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How do I convince my 8 year old sister to remain cute?

You asked a question in your original post and it was answered by several people. No one here is likely to support you in your efforts to manipulate your sister. I and others have tried to get you to understand the importance of the golden rule. Many here have been in situations where someone has tried to force them to be a certain way and things always turn out badly. Please take what I said in post #10 into consideration and get on the road to becoming a more mature autistic person.
 
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midlife aspie said:
Please take what I said in post #11 into consideration and get on the road to becoming a more mature autistic person.
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A few years ago, I had an only friend. A year later, he matured and stopped being my friend because of my immaturity. Why would I want to mature after having bad impressions from every mature person out there? Also, him not being my friend the second he matured tells me that mature people betray people. I'm very scared to mature.
 
Ephraim Becker said:
he matured and stopped being my friend because of my immaturity.
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You weren't betrayed. I think you understand the real reason why he left.
You came here for help. We can and will help you, but you must be patient, understanding, tolerant, considerate, courteous, and polite in your communications here.
The words in italics are some of the hallmarks of maturity. Understand them and put them into practice.
 
Shalom bayit, harmonious family relations, calls for mutual respect between all siblings, and respect for parents demands that we abide by their wishes to treat our siblings properly.
Furthermore, our brothers and sisters deserve no less than would a friend or a stranger which is to be treated with kevod haberiyot.

So, your sister is growing up and you wish her to remain a child. She can't stop growing, that would be impossible unless she were ill. You may still be able to call her cutie, if she permits it.
 
So, if I understand, you're afraid that she will stop liking you once she matures, just like your friend did? Is this the reason why you don't want her to grow up?. If so, I need to tell you that you can't prevent this... and if you try, the very thing you're afraid will happen will be more likely to happen: she will start to like you less, because she will feel disrespected by you.
 
Also, I'm not sure you understand what maturity means: Do you want to know more about it? Maybe it will make it less scary, and maybe you will understand why others want you to become more mature?
 
There are some parts of development that are slower in AS than in NTs in general, but no, we don't stay immature forever, and every one of us is different from one another. And I don't think this is an attempt to bully you: disagreeing with you is not bullying.
 
Seems to me a basic tenet of autism is that while we may share certain traits and behaviors, that equally we can be quite different from one another.

That our reality is that we are not any kind of stereotype. Like most everything else, as far as maturity goes, it varies here regardless of age.
 
Aspie_rin said:
There are some parts of development that are slower in AS than in NTs in general, but no, we don't stay immature forever, and every one of us is different from one another. And I don't think this is an attempt to bully you: disagreeing with you is not bullying.
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What is the whole point of a forum for people on the Autism Spectrum if everyone on this forum is trying to emulate NTs?
 
We are not trying to. Becoming mature is being able to understand the world and knowing what you can, can't, should and shouldn't change. Being mature is not being NT, actually there are some NT traits that I find immature. I am definetly not trying to be an NT, heck, I'm even stimming in public right now!
 
Aspie_rin said:
We are not trying to. Becoming mature is being able to understand the world and knowing what you can, can't, should and shouldn't change. Being mature is not being NT, actually there are some NT traits that I find immature. I am definetly not trying to be an NT, heck, I'm even stimming in public right now!
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I understand the world and know what I should or shouldn't change. All I do is act silly and i'm called immature all because i'm acting silly.
 
Well you don't seem to understand that you can't and shouldn't change the fact that your sister is growing up, and are trying to force her to be something she doesn't want to be... But yeah, if you're talking about skipping instead of walking, liking disney movies, or swinging in a swing set, etc, I don't think that these things are immature... and I think that people saying that it is are immature!
 
Ephraim Becker said:
What is the whole point of a forum for people on the Autism Spectrum if everyone on this forum is trying to emulate NTs?
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You might consider spending more time simply reading about us to come to grips with just how diverse we actually are. You'll discover some of us who strive to fit into the NT world no matter what it costs us, as well as those who want nothing to do with it. And equally those who feel they have no choice but to try and "fake" it as much as is possible. Even if most often we "fail" in the eyes of NTs.

That we really are on a "spectrum". On a single plane perhaps, but indicative of many autistic traits and behaviors that make up quite a diverse community here.
 
Perhaps the site members reading this thread may want to consider the possibility that Ephraim is simply confused. I think it may be possible that he has no intention of taking concrete actions in regard to his sister, but is here trying to find validation for his feelings. He may be having difficulty separating how he feels from the way he acts. Ephraim, if this is the case, rest assured that all of us have wanted to act out on negative or improper feelings/impulses at some point. Knowing what is acceptable and to what extent our actions in regard to our feelings should go takes discretion, and none of us get it right 100% of the time. I suspect this may be part of what your social workers are trying to teach you.
 
I will share with you, Ephraim, That I have a very cute and sweet 2 year old daughter. She is very loving and happy. As a father, I would love for her to stay the way she is, but I know that is impossible. Eventually, she is going to be a grown woman making her own way in the world. I love my daughter, and because I love her, I am going to act in accordance with what I believe is in her best interest as she moves along in life. I will not try to mold her into what my selfish desires would like. My performance as a parent is not mine to evaluate, but hers. Her perspective of me is what will ultimately matter.
Your case is similar Ephraim. You have the option of being a supportive and loving brother. Being supportive and loving does not entail trying to mold a person into someone you want them to be. It does entail encouragement, love, and all of those maturity words I threw at you in a previous post. Remember that your performance as a brother is in her hands to grade. Do things right and she will love you forever, do them wrong, and you may lose a sister.
 
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