How do you feel about hugs ?

[N64boy96]

I am an adult man, I do not get many hugs. As a kid it was nothing I particularly cared for and was pretty annoying(especially when your relatives are drunk)

Especially that. Drunk just have that awful smell that I hate. It's like do you bathe in vodka

 

[Gregory Nichols]

I feel, to a certain degree, uncomfortable as to why I'm being hugged; but moreover ready for it to end. A hug, isn't bad but it's just not something I fancy to be honest.

 

[N64boy96]

Hugs be like "is it over yet?"

 

[Elpis]

It's not the best. Ultimately it depends on the person for me. Often times, I'm not expecting a hug and it just happens and I awkwardly react to it.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

i don't feel comfortable hugging many people (like less than five) but those i do feel comfortable hugging i really enjoy hugging. it also really depends on the circumstance and situation. anyone else i would hate having to hug

 

[holbrook]

Most of the time when someone hugs me, instead of resisting I let them do it rather than let it turn into a potential negative conversation, although most of that time I find it difficult to hug back so my arms are at my side.

On occasion, I have initiated a few myself with a few people whom I've felt comfortable with, but on rare occasion.

 

[weth]

Just the wife as I know she likes them I'd never seek a hug but I'll dish them out

 

[arcan]

I like hugs from by BF, butI'm not at ease even with my parents, brothers of sisters. Sometimes, even a simple contact like shaking hands repulses me, even with people I know and touched before.

 

[Myway]

I don't mind hugs from certain people, but if I don't know you, don't touch me or hug me. That is a little too much. The only people I like hugs from are my dad, sister, mom, one or two close friends, and boyfriend. If you are not one of these, then do not touch or hug me. That is my rule.

 

[ancusmitis]

Unsolicited hugs in meatspace from people I don't know make me uncomfortable. But I do like hugs.

Virtual hugs are fine from anyone, just so you know.

 

[Andrew206]

I accept hugs from people I know and family members.

 

[Nacho]

I don't like to be touched a lot, I only like to have physical contact with my cat

 

[Myway]

When strangers touch me, I tend to pull away. This has been my response for years.

 

[Tom]

From family and friends its fine. Its more common in some ethnic cultures then others. I got used to it real quick on my Mom's (Italian) side.

I would be weirded out if a stranger did it though, and stiff.

 

[justin_havu]

Some family and friends. Other than that, don't touch me.

 

[Myway]

I tell people not to touch me and they still do. I don't get it.

 

[AspergerianYogi]

I think I'm the odd man out here, because I'm a habitual hugger. I think that might have developed from my teen years doing musical theater, where all everybody did was hug each other- man-man, man-woman, woman-woman, person-tree, etc. - and so I was forced to very quickly become comfortable with the idea of human contact, not to mention the fact that in a number of shows, I would have to kiss people on-stage (I never kissed anyone romantically until I was 18, because I was uncomfortable with that level of intimacy up until then).

That said, I have had to learn that giving or receiving a hug is very situational, and that my first and foremost priority has to be paying attention to my own gut feeling of safety/security as well as the verbal and non-verbal cues the other person is showing. A mutual sense of security has to come first. This is complicated, because a verbal agreement around something like that is rarely made, especially if the person is a stranger or an acquaintance.

I have been in situations where someone will say to me, "I'm a hugger," which usually is their indirect way of communicating one of two messages:

1) "Just a heads-up that I hug pretty liberally so I'm probably going to want to hug you when we're done."
2) "I'm pretty secure with my boundaries, so if the vibe between us is good and you want to come in for a hug, I'll welcome it."

(Or then there's the third option, which is when I'm on a date and they say "I'm a hugger to me", which usually means, "I enjoyed myself, it looks like you did too, I'm not ready to kiss you, but let's make some physical contact and see if any physical is there.")

I have been in situations where I will flat out refuse to hug someone, and that's usually when I feel like I'm being somehow played or bullshitted by the other person, or that they violated my personal boundaries somehow. But usually, there is enough physical distance between us anyway that we could both go our separate ways and not think anything of the fact that we didn't hug.

I have also been in a few situations in which someone spontaneously hugs me - or I spontaneously hug them - after we have discussed an experience that was traumatic or intensely personal for them. The fact of the matter is, in moments like that, as gratifying as a hug like that can be, in another way it's intensely impersonal. They (or I) don't want a hug from that other person, specifically; we want to hug the person who listened non-judgmentally and was present to work through that particular moment. A hug like that is usually out of gratitude mixed with a need for some physical reassurance, as though the emotional truth of what just happened cannot be fully internalized until that hug happens.

 

[Beverly]

AspergerianYogi I know the type, same sort usually tend to be what I call "close talkers." They don't even ask or, seem to think about invading your personal space, as if they don't have personal space at all. When they talk to you, they stand with their toes almost touching yours and, always have to be touching your arm, shoulder, chest, some part of you when they talk to you. They also like to hug a lot, and seem to expect greeting and parting hugs from everyone.

My manager is one of those sorts. he's a great manager and, I tolerate it form him, with a smile so to speak, but I really do wished he could back off a bit and ease off on the touching, he won't, that's how he is and, even asking him to change his behavior for my own comfort only lasts a couple of days when I do bother to remind him. Some people, you just have to deal with as they are.

 

[Cinnamon115]

I like getting hugs. I kind of have to in my family, because on my mom's side of the family, everyone loves giving hugs. Though I'm not too fond of getting the type of hugs where the other person also lifts you off the ground. (My brother did that to me last year, it really startled me).

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Hugs from my mum are acceptable and can be comforting, hugs from a few other people I am close to are tolerable, any one else touching me I find very uncomfortable.