How do you use the internet?

[pamelaperejil]

I find I interact with people on the internet very differently than in real life. Online I seek validation and attention, develop ideas, process my thoughts, practice empathy, and build an identity. The rest of the time I zone out and just ignore people. It's strange. Interaction with people in real life irritates the crap out of me, but online I can't get enough.

Does anyone identify with this? Do you use the internet to regulate emotion and develop a sense of self? Is your online persona different from your real life persona? If so, are they both real versions of you, or is one fake?

How much do you "need" interaction via the internet?

 

[Progster]

Yes, I have a different online personality.

I'm more open and more confident online, because I can write behind the mask of anonimity.
I'm more sociable and outgoing - I engage more with others.
I'm more articulate - I have time to think through my responses and express myself in an articulate manner.

 

[Suzanne]

My personality is so different offline that I had to quit chatting with some I know, because it felt too weird for me.

I am much more confident online; still suffer bouts of lack of self worth; but it is easier online for me than offline.

Online, I have time to process my thoughts and can give the appropriate response.

Just pretty awkward offline.

 

[Bolletje]

I use the internet all the time. I don’t need it for social interaction, because I have plenty of that IRL. I do like that it allows me to keep in touch with people all over the globe and it does allow me to meet new people.
Previously when I had less confidence and social skills I would engage with people almost exclusively through online interactions, but I have grown out of that.

 

[Catana]

I rarely interact with anyone on the internet. A comment here now and then, replies to comments on my blog. That's about it. I use the net mainly for information, research on various topics, staying up with the news, book reviews, etc.

 

[clg114]

I am a information nerd, so I mostly use the internet for researching what ever has my attention at the moment.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I'm not sure that I'm any different online than I am offline. I'm brutally honest when talking to people face to face, so the internet doesn't remove any sort of barrier for me as it does with some individuals. Mostly I have to be reminded to use social media at all. A few people in my family get irritated if they post things for everyone to see/respond to and I'm not aware of them until weeks after, so I've had to get better at it just to keep the peace.

Although I do find it fascinating to read posts from other people and see what they really think about certain topics. I've had some interesting surprises over the years. People tend to be more open and honest online, especially regarding certain emotive topics like politics, religion, relationships, etc. I'm tempted to write something really controversial just to see the myriad outraged responses! I have a very wide range of views among my friends/family/colleagues but they don't all know one another, so it would likely start a war if everyone began replying at once! <evil laugh>

 

[I love roses]

I avoid social websites like FB etc. I’m always searching for needed info like how to cure position ivy, or tell my husband how to fix the truck from a youtube video, or knowledge that i can possibly use for an interest that might turn into paid enjoyable work. Sometimes I think im addicted to searches though so I have been know to unplug a long time or disconnect my services. I do not own smart phones for that reason.

 

[LearnedCoward]

But seriously...

Do you use the internet to regulate emotion and develop a sense of self? Is your online persona different from your real life persona? If so, are they both real versions of you, or is one fake?

People tell me I'm quite different in real life than on the internet, but not in the way I expect. I expect that I'm more awkward and standoffish in real life, but I've been told that I'm actually more approachable and laid-back in real life.

Maybe it's just because I spend far too much online getting embedded in "conversations" with people who are not worth my time IRL.

Just pretty awkward offline.

I suspect the same is true for me. I can't really make much conversation in real life unless people make an effort to include me, so being online breaks down that barrier a little bit.

It's always been a challenge for me to approach strangers and talk to them without seeming like a cokehead.

Previously when I had less confidence and social skills I would engage with people almost exclusively through online interactions, but I have grown out of that.

Explain please? Why would you say you've "grown out" of it? Do you think it's a maturity thing, meaning that your offline relationships are far more substantial and require being a more well-rounded human being?

I would say the opposite is true for me. I've met some very interesting people online whom I would consider true friends. I've met other friends in meatspace, but that's actually getting harder as I get older. I'm no longer a young professional hanging out with the other young professionals after work. Instead, I'm just some creepy old man. Regardless, most of the relationships I have been able to develop in real life have been largely ephemeral and superficial. Online, on the other hand, once I become close enough with someone to know them in real life, we usually become genuine friends and not just acquaintances.

 

[Judge]

Mostly for consumer-related information, news, finance & weather.

As far as "social media" goes, this one domain is it. With very few real-time interactions.

I'd be lost without access to the Internet when it comes not only to purchasing things I can't possibly find here over the counter, but also consumer feedback on the product in question.

Otherwise I'd be forced to deal with buying things in the past when all you had was a known brand name and "buyer beware" to work with.

 

[LearnedCoward]

I'd be lost without access to the Internet when it comes not only to purchasing things I can't possibly find here over the counter, but also consumer feedback on the product in question.

Otherwise I'd be forced to deal with buying things in the past when all you had was a known brand name and "buyer beware" to work with.

It sounds vaguely like you're talking about drugs, but it could be anything.

I have to buy shoes and socks online because most stores around here stop carrying sizes greater than 13 US. It's not easy for me to find clothes my size, but for some reason shoes and socks are by far the hardest to find.

 

[I love roses]

But seriously...



People tell me I'm quite different in real life than on the internet, but not in the way I expect. I expect that I'm more awkward and standoffish in real life, but I've been told that I'm actually more approachable and laid-back in real life.

Maybe it's just because I spend far too much online getting embedded in "conversations" with people who are not worth my time IRL.



I suspect the same is true for me. I can't really make much conversation in real life unless people make an effort to include me, so being online breaks down that barrier a little bit.

It's always been a challenge for me to approach strangers and talk to them without seeming like a cokehead.



Explain please? Why would you say you've "grown out" of it? Do you think it's a maturity thing, meaning that your offline relationships are far more substantial and require being a more well-rounded human being?

I would say the opposite is true for me. I've met some very interesting people online whom I would consider true friends. I've met other friends in meatspace, but that's actually getting harder as I get older. I'm no longer a young professional hanging out with the other young professionals after work. Instead, I'm just some creepy old man. Regardless, most of the relationships I have been able to develop in real life have been largely ephemeral and superficial. Online, on the other hand, once I become close enough with someone to know them in real life, we usually become genuine friends and not just acquaintances.

You could also have your online friends visit you and meet them at a neutral and safe place. Then you dont have to go far.One thing I have learned is just to give genuine complements and statements of appreciation when face to face. Try to remember what they talked about to you or somone else last time so you can ask them how that thing is going in their life. Most people just want to be wanted or important and it is all about them. So talk about them. That seems to help a lot and get rid of the creepy factor. But I still don’t have but one best friend. You won’t believe this, but the way I got her was I met her for the first time at a public event and told her I was a Christian and couldn’t understand why Christians wouldnt be my friend, that I was not from this place and felt like an outsider. So she decided to have her husband meet me at a neutral place which was a mall and we checked each other out and have been best friends ever since. I just got brave and told another human my delemma. I wasn’t even aware of possible aspergers at the time. I didn’t know why people didn’t like me. I finally asked my priest who is a psychologist about how to make conversation and I watched youtube videos on how to do it. It is tiring. I still haven’t made a new friend. But I think I might could make one if I joined an interest group. When you do things as a group you have the thing you are doing to talk about.

 

[Judge]

It sounds vaguely like you're talking about drugs, but it could be anything.

Drugs? LOL, no. Besides I only purchase perfectly legal OTC medications. Haven't used prescriptions drugs in years. Rarely buy anything that can't be found as a generic medication.

Lately though I've pondered a question of how much a gamble it might be to buy something like a sofa online, as opposed to something simple like an office chair. Not sure I want to take the feedback of strangers over subjective perceptions of comfort and quality.

Otherwise most of what I purchase online tends to be electronic-related. As for clothing, that's not something I'm willing to buy sight-unseen. Though I suppose there are certain brands where I'm not too concerned about size and fit issues. Jeans and such. But shirts or shoes? Never.

 

[I love roses]

It sounds vaguely like you're talking about drugs, but it could be anything.

I have to buy shoes and socks online because most stores around here stop carrying sizes greater than 13 US. It's not easy for me to find clothes my size, but for some reason shoes and socks are by far the hardest to find.

Ha! I can’t get UPS and Fedex to find my house! The Google god (little g) on Google maps shows my address in another location. So everything I buy goes to someone else! I finally tracked down Fedex local hub and had them mark their local records in their system on me. I am just now getting used to ordering online but I hate waiting and wondering when it will get here and the delay of getting it. I have never attempted to buy clothes online. One lady told me she just orders 10 dresses at a time and sends back a lot of it but that seems like a headache. I’m hard to fit. Bleh! Stores have gone away so i’m trying to learn to sew my own. Taking a couture class. Pray for me that I can get good at that. I’m tired of cheap chinese clothes that have necklines to the belly button and hems up to my pattootie on my aging body. The clothes for older people all dowdy. But yep, ordering some things has become necessary. I swore I could do without the net, but nope. I broke down and finally gave in. I miss 1960’s quality, reasonable local made american manufacturing prices by the International Garment Workers Union label, and cotton fabric. I can only wear cotton. I could almost always find nice clothes in the 60’s and 70’s. Now it looks like junk unless you are buying very high end super expensive stuff.

I have a friend out of town who has a big person’s shop and he can order anything you want. The store is Kornfield’s in Greenwood Mississippi. It is a store front store. you have to be specific about quality etc. He will talk your ears off too. He is a big talker and jokester. So if you need extra human contact, he loves to talk. But you probably already know what brands you like. But he might know some more brands and he knows how to fit a person and will work with you. He goes by Bubba Kornfield. He has clothes big enough for two people. He can get anything.

 

[Judge]

Ha! I can’t get UPS and Fedex to find my house! The Google god (little g) on Google maps shows my address in another location.

Ouch! Good point though. Online sales don't mean much if they can't get the product to your doorstep with relatively easy access to returning goods if necessary.

So far I've only had two real problems with two well known vendors. One they sent me the wrong printer and two, a product that was totally non-functional. An audio CD with no apparent files on it.

 

[I love roses]

Plus, people follow the trucks and wait for things to be dropped off and then steal it. That doesn’t happen here much, mainly giant metropolis areas. So now Amazon wants you to have electronic door locks and give them the code!!! Or have a changeable code just for the delivery. I don’t think so!!! They are trying to figure how to make it safe. I’m not letting anyone in my house!!! I might would have a coded metal box outside though. These egg heads in corporate penthouses can’t think any thing through. The need aspies to tell them what to do. Haha!

 

[Judge]

I just pay scrupulous attention to online tracking schedules and make sure I'm home the day of any delivery.

As for allowing a third-party access to my home or car, they must be kidding!

 

[I love roses]

I’m tired of corporate manipulation at my expense. Which brings me to my next point. I might start a new thread on this if newbies are allowed. I’ve been ordering skin care products online to no avail as i have chemical sensitivities and it is hard to know what to order in the way of soap and laundry stuff. Not only may I have to make my clothes but I may have to learn to make my own soap. I’m gonna start a separate thread on this one because i’m wondering if others have autoimmune chemical sensitivities besides the usual texture sensitivities as well as reactive airways. Stay tuned.

 

[Tom]

If the RL me was walking down the street and by chance ran into my online persona we'd probably get in a fistfight.

 

[I love roses]

If the RL me was walking down the street and by chance ran into my online persona we'd probably get in a fistfight.

Oh your so right Tom! Me too! I wouldn’t know how the RL me would read me.