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How much effort do you put into socialising?

How much effort do you put into socialising?

  • Total voters
    40
Droopy

Droopy

Founder & Former Admin
V.I.P Member
I have been putting in a lot of effort this year and it has really paid off. My social life isn't perfect but it is much better than it ever was. I am constantly trying to get out of the house and meet up with people or plan social activities. During my early teenage years, I didn't put much effort into it and couldn't be bothered with socialising - preferring my own company.

How much effort do you put into socialising?
 
I don't think I use that much effort when I'm socializing but I generally talk alot in general anyways.
I just go my own path now when it comes to socializing but what surprised me was that I would end up with this genuine friend of mine.
 
Gave up on that when i turned 19. The cost/benefit analysis came out negative overall. Moreover life's experience made me into a hardcore misanthrope, so i'm fine being on my own.
 
Not nearly enough as I should :nah:
I'm not that bad with my friends, I can be quite outgoing when I'm in the mood. But I hardly try anything new or meet anyone, I'm too lazy most of the time and/or too chicken.
I can do a lot better, I managed to make friends within the first few days of highschool, but college seems to have been an utter failure for the most part.
 
I think how hard it is to make friends depends on the situation. I made a friend in college my first term, and I wasn't even trying - she worked to befriend me.

I tried my first term in grad school: I joined a number of social outings. But I didn't make any friends that way. My second term I managed to make a friend, only sort of by trying.

I think one just has to meet the right people.

My counselor is encouraging me to go to more on-campus social events, and I guess I will but I am a little stressed out about this idea. There was a concert she encouraged me to go to that was Friday, but I didn't want to go because that would be loud and chaotic and I fear I would just feel miserable. Next Friday there is an "Ice Cream Social." I will try that. Ice cream is good, enough to offset the awkwardness of randomly standing around with a bunch of strangers.
 
I used to to put in alot of effort back in High School. I did not help much. I just stressed me out.
Now I hardly put in any effort. I'm much happier this way, and I always have my husband if I get bored. :)
 
Not as much as I should actually, I put little efforts into it. I should really put a fair amount one of these days. I hardly go out and talk to people, and I only like hanging out with specific people.
 
Sounds like me. After being mistreated for years I had no issue isolating and doing everyhting by myself. However I still am reliant on my mom or someone to help me with everyday life. It's a double edged sword, much of the time I don't want to be around anyone, but then other times I really want what's bene missing my whole life. And then I nee dpeople and I don't want to but I feel useless and no more than 15 emotionally in a world I don't want to be nor was ever a place I could imagine myself living through to any later ages.
 
Once a conversation gets going I find it OK and I don't really find myself having to think about it. I haven't really made an effort to talk to anyone since I started back at 6th Form though. My mum sometimes gets on my case about it but I think I'm better off keeping my distance.
 
"None / prefer own company"
I don't like socializing or being around people & I have severe social anxiety, so I don't put any effort at all into socializing with people. When in public I keep to myself & never say a word unless absolutely necessary.
 
I know I should, but I just don't.
I don't know, it's just a lot easier to leave people and socializing alone. It's easier to just be by myself instead of trying to understand everyone else.
Sometimes, though, I try a tiny bit. xD
Like, actually saying yes when a friend of mine appears at my house and randomly wants to go somewhere. It gets me agitated, but I'm kinda prompted by my mom and siblings, so I just go. Does that count?
 
I used to socialize a lot in my 20s and early thirties, but then I sort of withdrew. Now ten years later, I am trying desperately to make some friends, Until last year I had none for 10 years, except my partner. I realized that was something I needed, now I have several online and a few IRL, but who I only see at events related to a mutual interest. Sometimes I can do it so easy and I can be very social, and then suddenly I am aware of myself and I need to "disapear" (as one person said of my sudden exits). I can't start conversations easily, or join in with people I don't know, but I will talk to strangers if the start talking to me. I went to a christmas party with people I knew, and I felt very comfortable, except there were no cups and I couldn't make myself ask the host, although other people had glasses from the cabinet.
 
I will put enough effort in high school in the socal situation but alot of people did not notice that I was there but in college i did try the same about but i do have couple of freind i guess becuse the freinds i have are more open minded to get to know me but it just hard somedays to talk to people but i just have to find the right preson to talk to
 
I voted for a little amount of effort. I have my moments where I want to talk to people but it isn't extremely often. Most of the time I prefer to be alone, or with my wife. Besides talking to my family members, I don't interact with people much.
 
Billi said:
I used to socialize a lot in my 20s and early thirties, but then I sort of withdrew. Now ten years later, I am trying desperately to make some friends, Until last year I had none for 10 years, except my partner. I realized that was something I needed
Click to expand...

I went through a lot of my childhood preferring my own company and not wanting to socialize. Then I realized that if I don't make friends while I'm young, I may never have friends when I'm older. In my opinion as people get older they tend to socialize less as family life, jobs and partners take over. I think people socialize most when they are young and into early adulthood. There are much more opportunities for younger people to socialize than compared to older people. Obviously older people still socialize but not as much as younger people. Younger people also have more time to socialize - especially kids.

Just my opinion.
 
little to none, i figure that people should see me how i really am and they will either like me or hate me for it, but im gernally nice to people with are nice to me
 
I'm trying to put a little more effort nowadays, after a very long break. The only problem I'm not always sure if people want to socialize with me, I never know what they think of me. In my 20s I used to ask people What they were thinking of me, opinions were quite interesting. Some said that I was fake while I was actually more honest than ever, imagine that :-))
making friends is even more complicated. When do you decide that you are friends? I was wrong so many times in the past !
Now I'm not sure what to do, should I continue trying or just let it go?...I'll probably continue trying, need to set a good example for the kids :-) yeah....
 
I find that I'm more willing to make an effort with people older or younger than myself as opposed to those my own age. I do talk to people at school but it's really only ever about work. My mum tells me to put myself out more and try to make friends but that's easier said than done when you have a history of social screw-ups and a fear of making yourself look like a complete tit.
 
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