How much effort do you put into socialising?

[142857]

Putting effort into developing your social skills is important. Not just in terms of your social life, but also in terms of getting a job and developing the relationships that you will need to be successful at that job.

I tend to be lazy nowadays when it comes to socialising and keeping in touch with friends and acquaintances. My social skills were awful in my twenties, actually got quite good in my mid to late 30s after years of spending time around people and learning from my (many) mistakes.

 

[Withnail88]

Depends on my mood. I have missed the hell out of my college friends all summer. Everybody back home that I graduated with seems to have left so I'm a lone and on the computer a lot of the time. Thing is: I love people, I miss hanging with my friends and having a few beers. I just get the feeling I (unintentionally) annoyed them with my Aspie-ness, my social ineptitude.

 

[NeverEnder]

I generally don't "socialize" if it can be avoided. It makes me very uncomfortable in general.

Work-related socializing is different and I am better at this as it is more formal (and I am getting paid to participate).

I get rather nervous in social situations so I do not force myself to be exposed to it.

 

[Geordie]

why socialize when i got ac? socializing is good. but when one cannot even talk big in one's community, try knocking some sense in the bigger nt world, where we're also not too good. ac is not a refuge, it's simply something tt i'd want to have more gd stuff to enjoy extracting

 

[GhostWriter]

Why does it seem to me that Most of the people who responded to this Thread are Apologetic about not trying hard to socialize?? I only care to do so when around people who have something truly Interesting to say, & that is very rarely the situation!
And it makes sense to me that socializing is more important & more worthy of effort when one is in their teens or 20s- when one wants to be just like their peers & henceforth Accepted!!
As we get older & become more aware of our individuality, it's not nearly as important to us. We become more introverted, trying to figure out who & why we are, exactly, etc, etc. And our Time Investment becomes more important as well, so we might not be as tolerant of foolish chit chat & frivolities of etiquette as we once were.
I guess it all boils down to what one Really considers most important- popularity, comfort, experience, self acceptance, etc....

 

[Spiller]

I think it comes down to whether socialising is something you feel you need for happiness or not. Myself, I find that, while I feel the need to be alone at times, I can manage a fair amount of socialising time and, in fact find that the more time I spend with other people, the better I feel.. depression is a big issue for me and people make me happy.. it's just hard to find and make connections with others..

 

[Licorice]

Talk to classmates every day that I'm present, talk to baristas and cashiers, talk to people on forums, occasionally invite people out.

 

[Progster]

I used to make a much bigger effort when I was younger, but it never was really 'me' But I was stubborn and insisted on going out and doing things even though they weren't really working out, and I rarely got any sense of joy or happiness from it. No matter how hard I tried to be social, I still lacked that feeling of connection to others that comes so naturally to other people. My biggest problem was with groups. The others would sit round a table joking, laughing, exchanging banter, and I was never able to keep up with it or contribute. I didn't feel or experience what they were experiencing and I felt detached and separate, like watching TV. I couldn't follow the conversation over the background noise, or had nothing to contribute because I didn't know the subject matter of the conversation, and when I did say something, I got ignored. I pretended to myself that this was great, hey, I'm socialising, I have friends, but deep down I always knew it was all just a big illusion, becasue I always felt alone and never felt any real pleasure or satisfaction from it. Socialising was always easier with one other person on their own and I used to have one or two friends I would meet up with, but now those few friends have moved on and I don't have a close friend apart from my partner, and we mainly each do our own thing, with separate lives. Now I can safely say that I prefer my own company than to socialise.

 

[Slothra]

I put all of my effort into socializing, because via practice, I've been able to make it a lot easier.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Right now I put in no effort whatsoever.