Hi. I'm just starting to love a guy who I strongly suspect has AS. I am NT. I met this lovely on some walks we both did with a group and he was so attentive and clearly we are both attracted to each other. We live 70 miles apart so we have been emailing.
The first 4 weeks or so he was pinging the emails back often same day or next day. They were long and cheery and funny and he sent me chocolate twice. To me, that gesture said 'I really like you' .The next 3 weeks or so he replied after about a week and the emails got shorter. The last few weeks he hasn't been replying even after about 8 days, so I email him even though it isn't my turn, asking if he's OK. He might reply with two lines, or he might not.
I'm getting quite upset my end, wondering if he has gone off me. I don't feel I can send him a third email when it isn't my turn so I just sit and fret and I can get tearful. I know his phone number but I don't want to phone him as he has never said he would want me to.
I have read a lot about AS and what I have read says that they don't see the need for regular reassurances of liking/loving so it's probably nothing to worry about and probably doesn't mean he has gone off me. However, that doesn't really help me as I just will worry about it. I need to KNOW he still likes me. I don't want to put pressure on him by trying to talk about it. It's early days for us and I don't want to put him off me. I have told him in lots of ways that I really care a lot for him and really like him. I'm always telling him what I think is great about him. I wonder what I can do to have a little more response from him and that bit of reassurance that would stop me fretting.
Now, please, if you feel tempted to tell me I am being insensitive or offensive, please don't. I am trying my best. I adore this man, am really falling for him and I so want to understand him and make this work. I feel that I am being very sympathetic towards him. I have just been shouted down by some person on another blog, calling me offensive, unsympathetic and having unreasonable expectations. It was so horrible. Please, kind answers only. I am hurt enough by feeling inadequate to love this guy properly, without being called things I am not. Thank you.
The first 4 weeks or so he was pinging the emails back often same day or next day. They were long and cheery and funny and he sent me chocolate twice. To me, that gesture said 'I really like you' .The next 3 weeks or so he replied after about a week and the emails got shorter. The last few weeks he hasn't been replying even after about 8 days, so I email him even though it isn't my turn, asking if he's OK. He might reply with two lines, or he might not.
I'm getting quite upset my end, wondering if he has gone off me. I don't feel I can send him a third email when it isn't my turn so I just sit and fret and I can get tearful. I know his phone number but I don't want to phone him as he has never said he would want me to.
I have read a lot about AS and what I have read says that they don't see the need for regular reassurances of liking/loving so it's probably nothing to worry about and probably doesn't mean he has gone off me. However, that doesn't really help me as I just will worry about it. I need to KNOW he still likes me. I don't want to put pressure on him by trying to talk about it. It's early days for us and I don't want to put him off me. I have told him in lots of ways that I really care a lot for him and really like him. I'm always telling him what I think is great about him. I wonder what I can do to have a little more response from him and that bit of reassurance that would stop me fretting.
Now, please, if you feel tempted to tell me I am being insensitive or offensive, please don't. I am trying my best. I adore this man, am really falling for him and I so want to understand him and make this work. I feel that I am being very sympathetic towards him. I have just been shouted down by some person on another blog, calling me offensive, unsympathetic and having unreasonable expectations. It was so horrible. Please, kind answers only. I am hurt enough by feeling inadequate to love this guy properly, without being called things I am not. Thank you.