How to meet another Aspie

[Cactus]

I have never knowingly met another Aspie, but I would like to. There are local groups but they are formatted for parents of autistic children. What happens to these children when they grow up? Certainly not everyone on the spectrum needs a supported living environment as an adult. It seems there are support groups/meetings for everything, but I've yet to find one for Aspies. Granted, I would not willingly put myself in a group situation, and I'm sure there are others that would feel the same.

I'm just looking for a way to connect, to be around others like myself. It could possibly take the form of an unstructured, safe environment that served beverages; quiet, subdued lighting, open for a set period of time, but within that period of time people could come and go. That's just a thought. I really just want to meet a person, or persons, that have the same diagnosis as myself. I was recently diagnosed, and I find myself feeling alone and hyper aware about the way I'm perceived.

On a job, for example, I'm seemingly accepted at the beginning, and make friends with coworkers. Everything at a job may stay that way, but sometimes I feel singled out for work behavior, that to me, seems the same as everyone else's work behavior. If that happens, it's very frustrating not to know why. I'm beginning a new job soon, and I'm really anxious for that very reason. I'd like to sit down with another Aspie to hear about their life experiences.

 

[Graphin]

Get skilled at spotting aspies, go to the library and talk to them and end up seeing some thread here about being approached by a creep in the library

 

[Suzanne]

I should receive my diagnosis next month.

I have met two aspies. One, a guy, but he was so shy and stuck like glue to his nt wife, that I could not talk that much, but he seemed nice enough.

The other was a young girl and truth be known, I believe a misdiagnosis has been given. I met her and just could tell she was not an aspie.

In truth, I am happy to associate on here.

 

[TheFreeCat]

I find NTs impossible to understand, but I find other Auties unnerving.

I can't help it.

So I stay by myself.

 

[Fino]

I've continually met autistic people throughout my life. I wonder if there are more of them in California.

 

[Graphin]

Honestly if you don't mind bothering people, most people here would probably reject without thinking much, the library would be one of the best things I think.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I have met two aspies. One, a guy, but he was so shy and stuck like glue to his nt wife, that I could not talk that much, but he seemed nice enough.

I've wondered what it would be like to meet someone on this site in person, then immediately thought, "What would we even talk about?" It would be the briefest and most awkward meetup ever.

In truth, I am happy to associate on here.

Agreed. One of the best things about forum discussions is the title announcing, "Here's what we're talking about."

 

[Sofi]

I go to a local centre for Autistic adults that run lots of different social and interest groups (you don't need to talk or socialise if you don't want to, you can just go because you're interested in the topic) and they also offer support for different things. It's run by an Autism charity. It's a good way to meet other people on the spectrum.
I don't know if you would go to something like that if it existed near you?

 

[Tom]

I like keeping things simple. So first you have to catch an Aspie. So I would try the biggest laundry basket I could find and substitute shiny objects instead of bird seed. Things like marbles, metallic beads, etc. If that doesn't work, try big old classic books.

 

[Mr Allen]

I find some people in general to be well, a bit strange, regardless of whether they're Aspie, NT or an Elephant.

 

[Autistamatic]

I've met quite a few other Aspies and all but one have been good company. Even the one that went awry was a lovely person, but there was a misunderstanding that made things uncomfortable. There are several people I interact with regularly on here I'm certain would be good company.
I recently joined a social group in my local area which brings Aspies together in pleasant surroundings for activities and just chilling out. It's remarkably liberating to be able to drop the mask in company outside the home. We end up having conversations not dissimilar to those we have on here.
In the UK the National Autistic Society does very good job of listing and coordinating such groups, and local councils can be a good resource too.
Until I discovered that one already exists locally I was considering trying to start one up.

 

[Otenba]

Most aspies I've met that I've managed to stay good pals with I've met in a college library (Due to this, I think Graphin's suggestion is great)... Others I've met have been through hobbies stuff, like anime, manga, video games, table top games, etc... but staying pals with them has been a lot more difficult, possibly due to differing priorities within the hobby, or something.

 

[Autistamatic]

Most aspies I've met that I've managed to stay good pals with I've met in a college library (Due to this, I think Graphin's suggestion is great)... Others I've met have been through hobbies stuff, like anime, manga, video games, table top games, etc... but staying pals with them has been a lot more difficult, possibly due to differing priorities within the hobby, or something.

You'll find a lot of us at Sci-Fi conventions too. I've got something in the works about why so many Aspies are lovers of Sci-Fi, Fantasy or both. How many of us have identified with Spock or Data? How many have empathised with Frodo's struggle?

 

[Otenba]

You'll find a lot of us at Sci-Fi conventions too. I've got something in the works about why so many Aspies are lovers of Sci-Fi, Fantasy or both. How many of us have identified with Spock or Data? How many have empathised with Frodo's struggle?

Though I have not knowingly met any at a con like that, I agree!

I think I'm more of a sci-fi fan than fantasy myself, based on what animations I watch or games I play. I think I rely a lot on these things just to keep my sanity in this world!

I have had pals who particularly love things like Doctor Who, Discworld, Lord of the Rings, etc that I've had to just enjoy their love for it because those things just.. didn't interest me to the same level. Some of this has surprised me, but I guess they're just things that will just not click with me for some reason and that's okay.

I know very well what it's like for someone to be rude about my enthusiasm for something (an example: "Are you trying to sell Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to us??" -- this made me want to cry at the time it was said to me I think there was a much better way of telling me to stop talking about TMNT at the time) and so I do appreciate the friends sharing their love for their thing, and sharing their happiness with me. I don't want people who share their joy with me to feel the hurt I have felt.

I like quite a few different Star Trek characters despite not actually watching much of the shows or movies, though I'm not sure how many I identify with exactly. There are a lot of decent people in that series of stuff and all the tech they get to use and what not, just ticks a few of the boxes of interest for me. Same for Star Wars, though that's more the ships that appeal to me than the characters. I love the concept of pod racing particularly haha!

 

[Progster]

I don't know any Aspies where I live now, or anyone with ASD - I'm sure that there are some (undiagnosed) around. There isn't much autism awareness around here. People don't know what it is, or they think they know what it is because they have seen the movie Rainman, and also, the belief still prevails that it can only be diagnosed in children. If I were to meet them, I would probably have the same kind of difficulty I have with NTs, that is, finding common interests, things to say and joining in conversations, because I'm not very talkative.

 

[Otenba]

People don't know what it is, or they think they know what it is because they have seen the movie Rainman, and also, the belief still prevails that it can only be diagnosed in children.

Ooooh people who think that ASD is a children thing only make me laugh because those children grow up into adults! It's like they forget how things work! So silly!

It sounds like a meetup with an activity would be best thing for you if talking isn't your thing. I went to an art and crafts thing once and really enjoyed creating while only chipping in the chat going on with the others here and there. The balance felt right if you know what I mean. I think painting models at a local game shop can be another example.

 

[Autistamatic]

Ooooh people who think that ASD is a children thing only make me laugh because those children grow up into adults! It's like they forget how things work! So silly!

Unfortunately there's a common misconception that we "grow out of it" and so there are people who genuinely think there are no autistic adults or that those who are "still" autistic either didn't try hard enough or were "failed by the system". There's also quite a few people doing the conference circuit telling parents, doctors and administrators their story of having been a severely autistic child, but I cured myself - look at me now - I'm a successful author/life coach/lecturer, which only compounds the myth.

 

[Otenba]

Oh yes. I'm not diagnosed with ASD, but I've seen stuff like that with my other condition. It is annoying because even though you know the person telling the story mean well, it is still victim shaming. There's a big reason why the majority are not like the special ones that get the spotlight - it's because it protects the status quo. I'd probably achieve a lot more if I had a good support network for my health needs like them but I don't so it's not inspiring at all. I dread what more stigma will follow.

 

[Fade2black]

I met another Aspie before I was diagnosed. I remember there were similarities between us that brought us together to go have beers a few times. In fact, I would say we became friends for a while. But, that quickly ended when he got really hung up about something. I remember he became obsessed with how Google translates languages as well as professional translators. He just couldn’t let it go. And myself having Asperger’s, couldn’t stand another second of hearing about it. I told him to never contact me again. And, he didn’t. Kinda regret that now.

In hindsite, the likedness of Aspergers brought us together and at the same time, killed the friendship.

 

[Annanda]

I guess, there are more Aspies around, than you might be aware of.
You can find them as mentioned above in libraries, some do martial arts,
there are many in the midst of musicians, photographers, painters, engineers, physicians, IT-specialists, scientists in general.
I work in a suburb, where Infineon and Campeon are located and here the Aspie-concentration is higher than elsewhere.
Best opportunity to meet a lot of autistic folks in the same place is to go to a Nerdnite, if someone organizes one nearby. You can google that.
In my experience Aspie and Aspie could spot each other blindly.