How to replace The Chair (eternal pile of worn clothes in the bedroom which are too clean for laundry)

[AuroraBorealis]

I assume a lot of people are familiar with "The Chair". I mean, that chair (or whichever piece of furniture you use for this), where worn clothes are thrown onto in the evening before going to bed. These clothes accumulate, creating a huge pile of clothes, which, eventually, have to be sorted. I have made the experience that surprisingly many people (me included) have this habit, and those who don't, don't understand it at all.

I have had this habit for as long as I can remember, and it's not a huge problem for me, since I can handle sorting through the clothes about once per week without it being too daunting. But it makes the bedroom look unnecessarily messy, and it's yet another chore on my weekly list, and another messy think I have to look at every day which stresses me out.

What I already changed to accommodate, is: We have put our laundry baskets into our bedroom. That way, obvious laundry (dirty clothes, sweaty clothes, etc.) goes into the laundry basket directly, instead of The Chair, as it did before. But the rest - clean and not obvious laundry - goes onto The Chair, creating the Mountain of Doom. So far, I have found no system to prevent this. I am way too tired (and, frankly, too lazy) in the evening before bed to sort my worn clothes, put the clean ones into my wardrobe, and the rest into the laundry. That's what my sister - and other organized people I asked - apparently do. I have tried this many times and couldn't keep it up.

How do you - other messy folk, A(u)DHD(-ish) folk, handle this issue?

I want our bedroom to look cleaner, and to come up with a system that prevents The Chair, but I don't know how.

 

[Tired]

My chair says hi.

 

[AprilR]

My Chair is for clothes that need ironing, which i really hate to do. It has been a month since some of my clothes are there I wish i had a solution

 

[Hypnalis]

How are you at throwing away old clothes ? You need some spare space in your wardrobe.

Use the space for e.g. a cloth bag on a hanger to hold what would be the first layer of the chair.
And OFC you need a routine to hang them normally in a designated part of your wardrobe (e.g. one side of the bag) the next day (before breakfast).

In exceptional cases (which will occur), chair to "bag in wardrobe" in the morning is much better than adding a second layer to the chair later.

BTW - I'm only saying this because you use "we" and "our". And I suspect you're only asking because of that

Full Disclosure: I live alone, and I have two "Mountains of Doom", which ultimately get resolved by washing them all at once (I have convenient access to 4 x 6kg washing machines, so it's not so difficult).
Always followed by a resolution to never to that again, which I immediately break

But I didn't do that in the past, in a shared household.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

How are you at throwing away old clothes ? You need some spare space in your wardrobe.

Use the space for e.g. a cloth bag on a hanger to hold what would be the first layer of the chair.
And OFC you need a routine to hang them normally in a designated part of your wardrobe (e.g. one side of the bag) the next day (before breakfast).

In exceptional case (which will occur), chair to "bag in wardrobe" in the morning is much better than adding a second layer to the chair later.

BTW - I'm only saying this because you use "we" and "our". And I suspect you're only asking because of that

Full Disclosure: I live alone, and I have two "Mountains of Doom", which ultimately get resolved by washing them all at once (I have convenient access to 4 x 6kg washing machines, so it's not so difficult).
But I didn't do that in the past, in a shared household.

I'm awful at throwing away old clothes, but, as it happens, I just did it a short while ago, and I will sort my wardrobe now again because we are moving. So, a good opportunity for a new system!

I'm not sure I understand the system you're suggesting. I've never used a bag to organize my clothes. Could you explain it again, please?

I use "we" and "our" because I live with my partner, and while he is a bit better than me about The Chair, some of his clothes also end up there. The ratio is usually about 80% my clothes, 20% his clothes.

 

[Hypnalis]

@AuroraBorealis

The bag is to replace the requirement that the chair satisfies: for some reason you have no time - the two minutes handling the clothes that finish up on The Chair "properly" just isn't available. (This is near-daily for me

The "bag-to-wardrobe" step is essential because functionally the bag is no better than the chair in terms of temporary storage. It keeps the chair as a chair though, and will make anyone else who uses the room happier (just a little, but more happiness is always good

Throwing away old clothes is because keeping items you've upgraded or replaced, but aren't completely useless, is a major cause of 110% full storage. Your realistic are
* A larger place (by far the most expensive way to resolve storage issues
* Right-sizing
* Chaos, and the odd feeling that you've been beaten by an inanimate object (the chair).

Ok - the list is a bit sneaky (this is called presenting the two impossibilities (except its usually three) in sales. If you get it right, in selecting the only viable option, the customer feels they're in control, and have taken a real decision, but it's really a kind of "magicians force"

But it's objectively true that wardrobe space has to match the amount of clothing you have. And that tossing clothing is cheaper and easier than moving ... and less fraught than negotiating for space with an SO

So: bag instead of chair. Organized space in wardrobe for whatever was put in the bag earlier, so it's only ever empty, or has max one change of clothing in it.

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This bit started writing itself, and got too long. I'm leaving it in, but OFC it's just for fun.
If the part above isn't clear, just ask again)
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It's a psychological thing of course:

You use the chair once, promising yourself you'll deal with it tomorrow. You don't, so next time around it's no longer a chair at all, since it's covered in clothes, and you can't use it as a chair ...

... but now it's been reclassified as a "wardrobe extension", which is very convenient: you can add another layer or two with a clear conscience. OFC you do exactly that. Next "checkpoint": "chair overflow". Now you're in trouble, but the timing is still off: you only notice this when some item of clothing cannot be put on the chair, so you have to use the floor.

Wake up the next day, and now you have eat breakfast with actual guilt over the chair, rather than BAU ASD-avoidance "The chair" has become a major priority, and you reluctantly schedule time to handle it.
But this is an important activity: you need to plan it, schedule the work, and perform it - perhaps in multiple steps.

This is also great - a real task, with a genuine sense of achievement on completion. The wardrobe is in order again, the chair is clear, and perhaps you get a friendly ego-stroke from your partner.

Next time you change your clothes with a feeling of calm and peace - the chair is clear, so there's no reminder of your earlier behavior. Your mental "checklist" has one less item on it, and you're back to normal stress levels (though only just). But now you're complacent, and of course there's no pressing reason to handle the clothes you've just removed:

The devil on one shoulder says: "Save yourself a minute or two - put them on the chair. You can deal with it later!"
The angel on the other shoulder says: "It's only a minute or two. And you promised yourself this would never happen again."

Chair or something else? Follow the past, or take a small step forward on your journey of self-improvement?

Some internet wisdom I saw earlier today that I rather like:

We don't rise to the level of our goals
We fall to the level of our systems.

 

[Rodafina]

What about a "messy drawer?" It could be one drawer dedicated to unsorted, unfolded, too-clean-for-laundry clothes. The clothes within will be out of sight, so the room will look neater and when the messy drawer is full, you know it's time to sort the clothes back where they belong.

 

[MC1Rcat]

I have a spot where I put my "inside the house" clothes, when I take them off to put on clothes to go outside or when I put my "pajamas" on. I always change back to my "inside" clothes as soon as I come home, and since I never re-wear clothes that I wore outside, I put clothes worn outside directly into the washing machine or hamper. I don't like to see piles of things around the house, so I never have more than 3 items in my spot, and I will wash them every couple days, regardless of whether or not they are "dirty". I probably do this because I get unsettled by piles of things and cannot stand seeing them anymore, or I assume that after a couple of days something is dirty, and I never put worn clothes back into places where unworn, clean clothes are.

Maybe you could just decide to wash something after you wear it X number of times...and that would help reduce your pile of clothes. You could also just wash everything in the pile every week. Things that sit out do collect dust. That's why I think I wash things that are not smelly or stained.... could also be a bit of OCD on my part.

 

[Kayla55]

Nope, I'm tidy person.... Can't handle mess. But I had to learn tolerance towards others who are messy, honestly driven me insane living with untidy people.
Ornaments have exact positions or I'll walk in and rearrange back, even food in pantry must face label forward and all items placed nicely or I start unpacking cupboard.
I think this alone eventually drove me dilly

 

[All-Rounder]

My is a giant pile worth the magical beanstalk of clean clothes I never get to fold and put in the designated places. I have too many clothes places ordered on different categories. If I was a guy I wouldn't have skirts and short shorts maybe and dresses either. Or pantyhose and leggings. And I would disassemble the bra one, I don't wear those anyway.

Spoiler: 💺

Just looking at the makes me feel sick and proceastinate. I can sometimes fold some of them quickly but they still gather.

The actual used ones also get used next time no matter if they match my outfit as I can't deal with another pile forming on the other .

So I'm pretty proud of my other , it doesn't look as bad.

Spoiler: 🪑

 

[Mary Terry]

I tend to put slightly worn clothes on a stool in the closet. The best way I've found to manage it is to wear today whatever I put on the stool yesterday, and then put the twice-worn and now dirty clothes in the laundry.

Moths eat enzymes they find on our worn clothes - that's why you may find holes in your clothes that you haven't worn for a while, especially wool clothes. You might notice that the moths eat holes around the collars, armpits, lapels, and anywhere you dropped some food or sweated on your clothes. To prevent moth holes, I never put worn woolen clothes back in the closet and always wash or dry clean them soon after wearing them. Moths may not be a problem where you live but they are a problem here.

 

[Kayla55]

I tend to put slightly worn clothes on a stool in the closet. The best way I've found to manage it is to wear today whatever I put on the stool yesterday, and then put the twice-worn and now dirty clothes in the laundry.

Moths eat enzymes they find on our worn clothes - that's why you may find holes in your clothes that you haven't worn for a while, especially wool clothes. You might notice that the moths eat holes around the collars, armpits, lapels, and anywhere you dropped some food or sweated on your clothes. To prevent moth holes, I never put worn woolen clothes back in the closet and always wash or dry clean them soon after wearing them. Moths may not be a problem where you live but they are a problem here.

Moth balls smell bad, I prefer potpori bag with a dash of lavender oil.
One time googai under sink, run around cottage, wasn't sure if ear wig or fish moth, seems silly but thought going to climb in my ear while I was sleeping.

 

[Mary Terry]

Moth balls smell bad, I prefer potpori bag with a dash of lavender oil.
One time googai under sink, run around cottage, wasn't sure if ear wig or fish moth, seems silly but thought going to climb in my ear while I was sleeping.

I don't use moth balls. They're toxic. If your clothes are clean (no food stains or other biological material on them) then moths do not eat holes in the clothes.

 

[Kayla55]

My is a giant pile worth the magical beanstalk of clean clothes I never get to fold and put in the designated places. I have too many clothes places ordered on different categories. If I was a guy I wouldn't have skirts and short shorts maybe and dresses either. Or pantyhose and leggings. And I would disassemble the bra one, I don't wear those anyway.

Spoiler: 💺

View attachment 134818

Just looking at the makes me feel sick and proceastinate. I can sometimes fold some of them quickly but they still gather.

The actual used ones also get used next time no matter if they match my outfit as I can't deal with another pile forming on the other .

So I'm pretty proud of my other , it doesn't look as bad.

Spoiler: 🪑

View attachment 134819

First few years of parenting my house was clean, after decade I got tired, honestly I would be up until 11pm to ensure house clean, worst was washing walls, that form of scrubbing numbed my hands. Would you believe how repair guy or whoever came over would looked shocked at state of my house (I don't have maid come in)
Luckily with growing up, mess gradually decreased, I still have a yell spell from time to time, maybe I'm not consistent enough about duties..... I've just being sick non-stop this year, any flu going around.....it's being fight getting healthy, again.
I miss my once perfectly clean house, but I'm not going to stay up til 11

 

[SusanLR]

Eye catching thread.

Facing the same problem. I have an end of the bed bench made to sit on.
It never gets sat on because it's THE CHAIR for my worn but not dirty enough for laundry clothes too.
Now I'm moving. My new bedroom is too small for the bench. What will I do with the clothes?

This situation will force some sort of change.
Need is the mother of necessity!

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Thank you for all the good replies!

I'm hesitant to change my Chair to somewhere else within a closed-off space - such as a bag or a drawer inside my wardrobe. I'm very much out-of-sight-out-of-mind. I would forget about those places, and end up crying every few weeks because it's overflowing and I'd be overwhelmed.

My partner said that in his opinion the Chair isn't such a bad thing, because it gives me an amount of stress necessary to deal with it once in a while. True, but uncomfortable to hear.

I thought of maybe putting another open basket into our bedroom, where all the Chair clothes go into. No lid, so I won't completely forget about them, but also a contained space, no overflow and not such a huge mess like the Chair. And, hopefully, I'll deal with it about once per week, as I do at the moment with the Chair.

Only negative in that plan: The Chair contains clothes I wear again - I just pick them up from the Chair. I don't sweat much, so I don't consider it unhygienic not to wash clothes immediately after use. If I put them into a basket, I'd have more restraint to go through the pile and wear them again - increasing the amount of clothes I wear and wash, worse for the environment.

Oh, and second negative: I am quite certain that our lovely cat would just love to curl up in a basket full of worn clothes, if it's low enough for her to climb in. Resulting in clothes full of cat fur which now need to be washed, when they were fine to wear again before.

Decisions, decisions...

 

[Mary Terry]

First few years of parenting my house was clean, after decade I got tired, honestly I would be up until 11pm to ensure house clean, worst was washing walls, that form of scrubbing numbed my hands. Would you believe how repair guy or whoever came over would looked shocked at state of my house (I don't have maid come in)
Luckily with growing up, mess gradually decreased, I still have a yell spell from time to time, maybe I'm not consistent enough about duties..... I've just being sick non-stop this year, any flu going around.....it's being fight getting healthy, again.
I miss my once perfectly clean house, but I'm not going to stay up til 11

I am not "house proud" and have always hated to clean the house. We had a house cleaner for years but we eventually stopped having her come when the Covid pandemic was raging. I think it's time to get a cleaner again, just once a week, to vacuum, mop the kitchen floor, and clean the bathrooms. It would take some pressure off me trying to keep up with everything.

 

[Mary Terry]

Eye catching thread.

Facing the same problem. I have an end of the bed bench made to sit on.
It never gets sat on because it's THE CHAIR for my worn but not dirty enough for laundry clothes too.
Now I'm moving. My new bedroom is too small for the bench. What will I do with the clothes?

This situation will force some sort of change.
Need is the mother of necessity!

How about a coat stand in a corner or a coat rack hung on the wall?

 

[All-Rounder]

I have these dressy suit pants, 70% wool, 30% polyester, very thin fabric, non scratchy. They get neighborhood cat's fur on them all up over the thighs but lose it even as I walk. Love them for that.

Spoiler: 👖

 

[Mary Terry]

I have these dressy suit pants, 70% wool, 30% polyester, very thin fabric, non scratchy. They get neighborhood cat's fur on them all up over the thighs but lose it even as I walk. Love them for that.

Spoiler: 👖

View attachment 134924

I have some cat hair suits, too! Much classier than mohair. What kind of animal is a "mo" anyway?