How your obsessions affect you

[Dirtdigger]

Does your obsession affect you in a negative way or positive way or even both?

I hate to leave the object of my obsession and is always very close when I'm on the computer. I don't want to go anyplace including the store because of it but I go out of necessity. This obsession as well as past obsessions has kept me out of trouble because I never wanted a relationship with the opposite sex, never wanted children and never had to deal with the problems that so many couples on the Autism Spectrum has to deal with. In fact my obsessions has always replace the human in my social life. The negative side of my obsession is I want to engage in it for real and sometimes give NTs a very hard time, even getting critical. However, I don't threaten or stalk others like some of those on the Spectrum has. So I guess I see more positives by far than negatives though the struggles have been great.

There are a few other Aspies who knows exactly what this obsession of mine is and I just consider it as just one of my many symptoms of Autism. Some of the things I don't like are catty remarks about my obsession. I know I have some very serious issues with my obsession, but hurtful remarks is the negative side as well.

I know I'm more severe than most Aspies and I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but people need to realize that intelligence and looks don't have anything to do with being on the Autism Spectrum, but those symptoms that are covered in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorder. But, I don't like the DSM-V one because I think the only reason some things such as Aspergers were remove to have a reason to not pay benefits for those Aspies who truly can't support themselves and can't live by themselves, while many other Aspies are able to work if given the opportunity.

 

[Judge]

Does your obsession affect you in a negative way or positive way or even both?

Ultimately I think that depends entirely on the nature of one's perceived obsession, and how often you choose to bring it up with others. And perhaps most critically, how often others want to or are willing to hear about them.

Some subjects no matter how passionate you might be about them are simply things people don't want to discuss at length. For others, there are no subjects that are worth discussing at length. Personally I find that odd, but I encounter it more often than I like. People just don't seem to enjoy intricate details of things....go figure. I just find it alien to embrace life in a cursory manner. Yet I'm always the one made to feel like an alien.

It remains upsetting to me that loved ones have made it quite clear to me at times there are certain subjects they don't want to discuss with me, given my degree of enthusiasm and obsession versus the lack of theirs. Yet some of the the same obsessions also pay my bills. So ultimately it goes both ways for me.

 

[Dirtdigger]

It remains upsetting to me that loved ones have made it quite clear to me at times there are certain subjects they don't want to discuss with me, given my degree of enthusiasm and obsession versus the lack of theirs. Yet some of the the same obsessions also pay my bills. So ultimately it goes both ways for me.

Glad you brought up where relatives that don't want to talk about one's obsessions. I have other obsessions such as dreams and keeping dream diaries. I can't seem to shut up about it. And this is the reason my mom and I had more arguments than you can shake a stick at. If she was in a good mood she wanted to hear what I saw in a dream. But, if she is in one of those other moods all hell would break lose. My brother didn't want to hear about my dreams either informing his wife in so many words not to ask me about them anymore. So rather than obsessions in our case, maybe ours are narrow and intense interests that irritate people to no end where we go on and on and don't know when to quit even if it is a job we work at to pay the bills. Even Intense interests such as ours can get us in trouble at times.

 

[Andrew Campbell]

My obsession with guns/airguns and target shooting drives me to practice. I practice every day. Unfortunately, my parents see it as little more than an obsession, and refuse to support it, which can be depressing.

On the other hand, I have scared many people away with it (especially combined with my aspergers).

 

[Dirtdigger]

I have to say that I'm very passionate about guns as well and if I could I would target practice everyday. Hopefully I can find a partner who shoots as well. Right now I haven't been able to get .22 long rifle ammo and is very low on it. Hopefully this will soon change so I can go target practicing. I'm waiting to see if the ammo situation changes so I can buy a membership into our gun club.

As you can probably tell by looking at my avatar I've had an obsession for backhoe loaders since the mid 60's when they started appearing. They have only been in use for a few years before I saw the first one.

I've always had intense interest and obsessions all my love with anything to do with a man's activity or objects. When I was a child I played with my brothers' toys and destroyed my dolls. And to this day nothing has changed when it comes to boys toys. I bought a real backhoe loader about 3 years ago because of my obsession for them and have several die cast backhoe loader models sitting around in display cases. I even got to operate a big CAT 420D for a couple of days developing an obsession to dig and scoop in the dirt. In fact I really get very depressed when I get to thinking about this because I don't want to dig up my yard and only use my backhoe loader to do a job rather than to have fun to satisfy my obsession. I don't go into a lot of detail for the most part because people just don't understand and would size me up for a straight jacket though having this particular obsession with parts of objects is just one of many symptoms of the Autism Spectrum.

I also became obsessed with games like Digger Simulator 2008, 2011 and Farming Simulator 2013 which I have been playing for months.

 

[Sev]

Almost a year ago I was obsessed with the board game, chess. Eventually, due to the mass amount of time I spent studying, analyzing, training and playing, I left the reality around me and immersed myself into the game.
It's a pretty well known fact that when you do this, you can get good at the game very quickly (in only a few years); but most people tend to have some bad neurological effects.
For me, I started applying the laws of chess, as if laws of physics, to the outside world.

During that time, the symptoms of my Aspergers such as depression, anxiety etc; worsened considerably. I ended up losing quite a number of friends.
Since giving that obsession up, which took quite a bit of effort, my life has dramatically improved.

The positives of all that was, well, it left me with an extremely strong problem solving ability and it also improved my analytical mind. In addition to all this, I'm now quite strong mentally.
While the time itself was bad, and left me in a very strange state, I think that overall it made me a better, more efficient, person.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I'd say positive. I don't have a job at the moment, so my obsessions give me things to do. I've also learned about other things through them - for example, I learned about inflation by watching DuckTales. Also, my obsessions give me something to look forward to and they help me escape to survive rough times. The only negative I can think of is other people getting weirded out by my being obsessed with something and not wanting to talk to me or be my friend, but I don't care about having friends anymore.

 

[doordoctor]

Dirtdigger,

both negative and positive have came from my obcessions on door closers. the negative, are those who don't understand why I like them soo much, or don't care to understand that they are an important part of the security of a building.

then there are those who need help and they have asked the manufacturer and got nowhere far and keep googling and find me in one of the results and thank me half to death when they try my suggestions or how to fix it,

so around here, its a matter of i hardly say anything about them to my dad, (unless he has a question about them) and at times i cant shut up about them online when I answer questions I receive on them.

(off topic) Dirtdigger, I finally recorded my Rixson, (floor closer) when I got a call from some Indian trying to scam me into me letting him see and remotely access my computer, so I messed with him for a while to waste his time, it was funny (47 minute long video i did during the call) what I did was click the arm (hydraulics) and made him think I was following his instructions to "fix" my computer.

also, love seeing the signature at bottom of your post, (what a door closer is)

-Jess (doordoctor)

 

[ghoulbler]

My obsessions are rarely ever based in the real world - it's always fictional, like my Batman obsession. Because of this, I start to lose touch with reality a little bit. I distance myself from all of my real-life priorities. I forget to clean my room, do my laundry, eat, sleep, etc. I just completely neglect myself and I never leave the house unless absolutely necessary. It does tend to affect me negatively in all areas of my life.

Realizing this, I try to either get myself to become obsessed with something that is part of my life, or I try to apply my obsession to the real world.

Say, I really like the gothic feeling of the Batman world - I'll become fixated on this dark, dreary mood, and make sure to dress, think, and surround myself with things that will make me feel connected to that mood. So I'm not entirely lost in my obsession, I'm just manipulating my surroundings by taking my obsession and introducing it into the real world. Then I don't need to lose myself to get my Batman fix, I only need to keep my imagination alive and I can walk around doing what I need to do, pretending the whole way through. Does that make sense?

I've been trying to get myself to become obsessed with math. I have to get my GED and math is the only thing I've needed to study, but I've been neglecting it. If I can get myself to become obsessed with being really good at math, then I'll be able to do well. I just need to try to connect it to something that I admire and romanticize the hell out of it. I'll give it a week.

All in all, I'd say it has both negative and positive outcomes. It all depends on how I apply this obsessive energy.

 

[amiami96]

I think it depends!

When I was in elementary school I was addicted to certain television shows and certain crushes in my class. I didn't have a realistic expectation for crushes (it was based on television) and as for the shows I liked, it was all I cared about. It was hard for me to make friends.

Fixating on my crushes served as a detriment. I would call them constantly and send them notes...

In highschool my obsessions became more object? I collect figurines and blog about it and do tutorials on it now! I think this is a good thing. I also love Lolita fashion. Sometimes I almost spend my entire savings on dresses and figurines so I have to remind myself not to.

I also fixate on traumatic events. Things like Aurora shooting, Sandy Hook...Columbine. They interest me and I know they shouldn't. I just don't understand why people do terrible things.

 

[Judge]

I think it depends!

I also fixate on traumatic events. Things like Aurora shooting, Sandy Hook...Columbine. They interest me and I know they shouldn't. I just don't understand why people do terrible things.

I think everyone fixates on such things to some degree. Also there's a global media who enables us to do so every day for profit.

 

[amiami96]

I think everyone fixates on such things to some degree. Also there's a global media who enables us to do so every day for profit.

That's true, I know it's just fear propaganda and sensionalization. I just fixate it more than I would like to!

 

[Judge]

That's true, I know it's just fear propaganda and sensionalization. I just fixate it more than I would like to!

I took it a step further. I majored in mass trauma. Totalitarian systems.

You're not alone.

 

[Andy R]

I obsess about whatever my latest project I have. At the moment it is building a custom bass guitar. I never stop thinking about it and it is hard to leave it alone when glue or paint is drying etc

 

[Judge]

I obsess about whatever my latest project I have. At the moment it is building a custom bass guitar. I never stop thinking about it and it is hard to leave it alone when glue or paint is drying etc

Sounds like a cool, but challenging project.

 

[Andy R]

Sounds like a cool, but challenging project.

Thanks. It is a very unusual shape. I will post pics when it is done

 

[Axeman52]

My obsession with playing my guitars used to be somewhat debilitating - I'd get really restless if I hadn't played my guitar by about 4pm. My means of overcoming this was to get a little headphone amp and some headphones so I could play any time without disturbing neighbours or anything. Kinda helped, but headphone amps aren't quite as satisfying as playing a guitar through a full size amplifier. It took a while but I think I'm getting over it.

When I'm obsessed with something I can't stop thinking about it. And when I'm thinking about something that much, I will struggle to talk about anything else. So people can only really have a good conversation with me if they happen to talk about something that is related to whatever I'm obsessing over. I had feared that obsessions might get in the way of work, but since I now work part time updating stocks and prices for a small business that sells accessories and fittings for Motorhomes/RVs etc. I find it easy to obsess over making sure the numbers are accurate and I get to play around with the web software which is another thing I get obsessed with (though not to the point where I don't want to do anything else). So I haven't had as big a problem as I would've expected

At the moment my obsession with Final Fantasy soundtracks is kinda disturbing. I zoned out trying to accurately recreate the battle music from Final Fantasy 4 (I'm going for "note perfect" here, and that little diminished chord trumpet flourish at the end of the loop gave me a headache!) last night and didn't get to bed until about 3am. This morning I loaded in the FF4 soundfont - It's pretty accurate now, but there are a few things that still need to be tweaked. I'm still listening to it on an endless loop trying to make sure everything is spot on. The only thing I haven't done yet is put the little run up the scale that's at the beginning of the battle theme - because it's a little easier to loop it around accurately without it.

 

[musclecarman]

well my obsessions affected me positively well my main obsession (automobiles) would give me a job so I guess it depends on the type of interest I guess well having the dolphin obsession could help me with getting a girl friend (because bitches love dolphins) also my obsessions affect my personality.

 

[photoaddict]

My biggest obsession is photography, though I have others that come and go. I'm fortunate because my dad is also probably an Aspie and obsessed with photography. This means that, at any given moment, I have someone to obsess with. We can take our cameras out and play for hours, discussing anything and everything related to photography. So, in that sense, it's very much a positive. It's given me something to really bond with my dad over. Our relationship was pretty rocky before I went from "pictures are fun!" to really wanting to learn photography as an art form and learning from him.

I've learned not to bring up my obsessions, unless they fit with whatever is being said. I know that once I start, it's *really* hard to get me to shut up, so I try not to start. If I can't stand it and I *need* to talk about something, I find my mom. After all these years, she's used to listening to long monologues about things from both me and my brother. Some things she's been able to actually learn and engage. Others, she just doesn't get, but she still listens.

I've found it very beneficial to seek out social groups focused around my obsessions (FB, forums, clubs, I don't care, as long as they're about whatever obsession) because it gives me a chance to geek out about whatever, without people being annoyed or thinking I'm weird. I love my photography groups on FB. One group has been accidentally helpful in other ways. The members tend to do a lot of joking and teasing and I've actually gotten better at both recognizing their humor and expressing my own. It was a *huge* deal the first time someone responded to something I said with "lol", instead of "I was joking, don't be so literal!"

My obsessions were more of a problem when I was younger because I didn't know how to turn them off. I was wholly incapable of shutting up and letting people talk about something that interested them. I also didn't realize when everyone else was checking out of the conversation or didn't understand. It took a lot of conversations with my mom to really get that. She had to explain, very clearly, how I needed to behave in certain situations and how to recognize that someone doesn't understand. Now, if I'm talking to her, I tend to interrupt myself with, "I lost you again, didn't I? I'll shut up now. "

 

[JCPHN]

My obsessions definitely have some positive effects in my life, because I'd go as far as to say that some of them have made life worth living when otherwise I thought I was going to snuff it. The ones that aren't that extreme just make me feel very good about myself, which is not easy.

On the other hand, my really extreme obsessions take precedence over absolutely everything else, except my animals' well-being. I often reject spending time with people in order to perform those same activities, I would even say that it affected my marriage a lot. I have definitely had a lot of friends stop talking to me because I was choosing my interests over socialization too often. I've also lied to my employer and said I was taking a sick day when I was actually recording music.

I don't think I could survive without my obsessions.