How your obsessions affect you

[Ellylldan]

A couple of days ago I had a meltdown because of one of my obsessions... It is a passive obsession: I collect nails and screws found on the street. I have one collection at home and another, smaller one, in the door pocket of my husband's car, on my side. I realise it's not a good place but when I found all these screws someone lost on the road, I knew they had to stay in that car pocket, it was their place. Being my husband a musician, very often there are random people in his car and sometimes they leave some trash in the car pocket, like paper wrappers and stuff. Last week someone put a candy wrapper and a bottle cap right on my screws and I got very angry when I found it, but calmed down pretty fast anyway.. Two days ago I found again some paper and a plastic cap in there, plus it was raining so some water got in to the car pocket and the paper became all soft and mixed up with my screws. And I just lost it... I felt hurt and angry at people that don't have any respect being on someone's car.. I never allow myself leave trash after myself not just in someone's home or car, anywhere! Even when I smoke and don't find a garbage bin around, I will put a cigarette's butt in my bag, instead of throwing it on the ground... But people seem just not to care and it drives me crazy! My husband told me that I was wrong in the first place leaving such important for me things in a place where can be other people. I know, he's right, but for me it was also very important that those screws were right there, it was their place, and I always felt good just knowing they're there, it was some constant thing making me feeling secure.. I don't know how to explain it, maybe it doesn't make any sense... At last I just took all my screws home so I don't have to deal with this problem anymore, but it makes me so sad, knowing they're not there anymore... I know it's a totally irrational thing, but what can you do..

I'm sorry for the rant, just wanted to say that yes, my obsessions do affect me. This was an extreme case anyway, usually i can control my special interests and not bother people with them, but there are periods when they take all my attention and there is no room for anything else.

 

[JCPHN]

I hope I don't come off sounding like a jerk, but I just want to say that your posts regarding your marriage, Ellylldan, and some other peoples', are totally amazing to me. I can't imagine having a relationship where my idiosyncrasies could be tolerated in some of the ways I've seen people discuss here. I really wish people like yourself the best and I hope I can be that lucky some day.

 

[Ellylldan]

I hope I don't come off sounding like a jerk, but I just want to say that your posts regarding your marriage, Ellylldan, and some other peoples', are totally amazing to me. I can't imagine having a relationship where my idiosyncrasies could be tolerated in some of the ways I've seen people discuss here. I really wish people like yourself the best and I hope I can be that lucky some day.

Thank you!! And don't worry, it's was actually very sweet what you said. I must say it's not an easy ride, my marriage, there are a lot of problems and we were even at the edge of breaking up because of them.. I got to know about Asperger's just a few months ago, and before that, trying to solve the problems without knowing what was causing them was like fighting the windmills. Now, that I have a suspicion to be an aspie, it explains everything and, with this new knowledge, we're trying to work hard to solve what we can and what we can't - we're trying to find a way to go around it somehow... Also I am very lucky, because my husband, being neurotypical, is not really typical, and he's trying his best to understand me. And I am trying my best to understand him. It's a hard work though.

You seem to be a very nice person and I really hope you will meet people that will understand you and accept you for what you are. Stay positive and don't lose the hope! Sometimes the world makes us a gift when we expect it the least!

 

[JCPHN]

Thanks for the kind words! My obsession with Queen is making me late for work...

 

[HarleyMama]

. .. I got to know about Asperger's just a few months ago, and before that, trying to solve the problems without knowing what was causing them was like fighting the windmills.

This! Exactly! My diagnosis literally saved our marriage. We couldn't fix what we didn't know.

 

[Progster]

I'm not a very talkative person and don't talk all the time about my special interests, but rather I do them. I have two major areas of focus, prog rock, and languages and their respective countries. I become intensely involved in them and isolate myself, looking through music sites and databases, looking for new music, or looking at sites about the language and looking for music of the country which is my current obsession. In the past I have taken these interests to extremes, as my obsession with one or the other country (it changes) lead me to want to go and live in the country to be close to it and experience it as much as possible. I have a very deep impulse to do this, which I can't control. Needless to say, this affects my relationship with others very deeply. I really don't know how I managed to stay in the relationship I'm now in after all this. The reason I became an English language teacher was so I could go and live in the country of my current obsession: there is always a demand for teachers. Never mind that I could never keep these jobs once I got them and that I was never cut out to teach in a school full of noisy kids... but that's a different story.