I always wondered, if sex isn't dirty, how come they keep the dirty magazines behind the counter?

[Paige Turner]

It's embarrassing. Sex is the elephant in the room nobody can talk about. Everybody agrees it's wonderful and beautiful and thrilling and magical -- particularly for the guy involved -- until somebody else decides it's not. Then the boy pulls up his pants and scurries away, and you're a shameful, slutty girl.




I don't WANT to hug and kiss!
I don't WANT to know their names!
Yeah, I'm autistic. I'm emotionally retarded. SO WHAT?

How come he normals get to decide which of my feelings are okay?

 

[unperson]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The theatre of alleged morality.

Autistic gender neutrality is a disadvantage in this world, especially for women.

I wish I could remember I'm a woman and will be judged differently.

 

[Paige Turner]

DIRECT.
HONEST.
No meaningless social rituals, inscrutable body language, alternate agendas, peacock presentations, implications, games, tricks, winks, nods, or lies. Only the primate mating instinct, the point of the whole thing.

It's all you both want more than anything in the world, but you're not supposed to say you want it. Or talk about it. Or acknowledge that it exists.

At least, not if you want to simulate a human. I can't do that very well because I'm emotionally retarded. I'm autistic.

 

[Paige Turner]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
No, just damned if you do.

I wish I could remember I'm a woman

When you're around men, that's all you can be. Give a good presentation in the conference room, and nobody listens. The whole team of geeks is staring at your body.

and will be judged differently.

If a woman does it, it's scandalous. If a man does it, nobody cares. Point out the unfairness of that and they care even less.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

You can have it how you want it. It's not a problem. It's hard to explain how to get that but it can be done. I think that is what things like tinder and plenty of fish are for.
One of the reasons for all the stuff you dont like is safety. In a beautiful world you should be able to have a lady friend make arrangements, and then go meet at the appointed time, like going to the dentist. I like the peacock rituals, that's cute.

Maybe you should post a personals add here for fun?

 

[Aspychata]

Think it depends where you live. California was very open about this. The state l live in now feels different. But times have changed. The sex rags stay behind and hidden because of young children and people who may be conservative in their outlook due to religion or their upbringing.

The industry of sex workers is very demoralizing and demeaning to woman in general. The film porn industry is also the same.

Maybe by attaching the stigma to this increases the thrill and naughty factor for men and therefore men feel they can demean woman.

The complete industry of *marriage* is dependent on people getting married, coughing up money for expensive celebrations, engagement rings, etc. So it's best to portray anything else less than marriage as undesirable.

But due to the number of divorces, marriage rates have dropped, and more people shack up for benefits minus the expensive license.

 

[DogzSpirit]

Just another gift, from a society that thinks it can make the rules for everyone.
Mainstream and vanilla society also write the ticket that says AT must somehow change or be fixed.

When in fact, we are fine as is, and sensuality/kink is quite the norm.

We are programmed at a very young age to go along with what is thought of as normal.
Many people end up miserable and quite unsatisfied with life, and critical of themselves as a result.

Many times I have dated people who feel ashamed of their sensual leanings and actually told me nice girls don't. What a way to live your life, listening to what others dictate!

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Seriously though as a female person what one seeks is called a hook up. I think. As a mel I have to prove all sorts of things it's cumbersome

. Alas I am not the man I once was, kind of gimped up and older now. I helped a fem freind do the profile thing and post it to one of those a few times. She got laid from it she said. It's kinda fun to give advice to other people who are on those dating sites.
There was this guy from Germany who had to pay some fees because his stuff was stuck in customs, it's just a few days I will double your money...blah blahs ha ha

So yes lots o scammers on pof. And that sucks. I never got any responses out of pof when I tried it for myself, total waste of time for me. Decent picture too. I didn't say anything about star trek or living in my moms basement either on my profile It's definitely a womans advantage on those sites.

I think alot of the men are cheaters and scammers and liars too but not all of them.

 

[DogzSpirit]

Society would like to label much as Deviances of the Norm...
When in fact it should read... Variances of that Norm!

 

[Giant Hogweed]

I'm not sure what you're saying. I don't believe sex is the thing you shouldn't do or talk about anymore. Are you lonely?

 

[Judge]

The short answer?

If the OP is an American, bear in mind that it wasn't the Mitchell Brothers who landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620. Though admittedly we've moved somewhat beyond the Puritans since then.

 

[Crossbreed]

I always wondered, if sex isn't dirty, how come they keep the dirty magazines behind the counter?

(It is complicated, especially if you have poor social instinct.)
There is a context where it is healthful.*
There are many, many contexts where it is not.
(Your aforementioned magazines would represent the latter.)

*Even healthful sex should be done in private.
"Privacy" (like using the toilet) does not equal "shame."

 

[Streetwise]

It's embarrassing. Sex is the elephant in the room nobody can talk about. Everybody agrees it's wonderful and beautiful and thrilling and magical -- particularly for the guy involved -- until somebody else decides it's not. Then the boy pulls up his pants and scurries away, and you're a shameful, slutty girl.




I don't WANT to hug and kiss!
I don't WANT to know their names!
Yeah, I'm autistic. I'm emotionally retarded. SO WHAT?

How come he normals get to decide which of my feelings are okay?

Not behind the counter in the UK on the top shelf

 

[Judge]

No more bare breasts on page three for the Sun since 2015.

I guess Victorian prudery is back in style along with the Tories. Go figure. Wot.

 

[watersprite]

If a woman does it, it's scandalous. If a man does it, nobody cares. Point out the unfairness of that and they care even less.

^

 

[Aspychata]

A man is a Casanova, a woman is a slut for actively seeking pleasures of the skin. Double standards have really never gone away. High School girls are slut shamed nowadays.

 

[hatfullofrain]

No more bare breasts on page three for the Sun since 2015.

I guess Victorian prudery is back in style along with the Tories. Go figure. Wot.

How does that have a place in a newspaper though? The Sun is trash, but if I'm on the bus and someone is reading the paper why is it acceptable to have boobies out for everyone to see just because men (and some women, but these kind of things are designed for the male gaze) find it titilating. Should people be titilated on the bus?

The thing is as well, it promotes the idea that women are objects to ogle. We are people. We don't want to be objectified in everyday situations like reading the paper.

 

[Judge]

How does that have a place in a newspaper though?

It doesn't. In my country most of us do not consider known tabloids to constitute a newspaper. Just entertainment. Usually for a "target market".

Though admittedly it's getting increasingly difficult to tell other sources of print media apart as well. Too much pandering and little interest in objectively enlightening an audience. Where shareholders are only looking for circulation whether people love- or hate what's ever in print.

While litigation itself tends to be more difficult in the UK, in these particular matters it's easier to prove a civil wrong over such matters there than here. Especially factoring in constitutional freedom of the press.

A difference in perception made abundantly clear for me in underwriting advertising liability and personal injury exposures for a UK-based insurer. With British shareholders so perplexed by our legal system that they eventually opted to sell all of their interest in their US holdings.

Simply put, here you can piss people off to the point of rage apart from being butthurt. Unless it causes a discernible and/or physical injury you can prove, it's pointless to litigate over.

 

[SusanLR]

As with many social ideantations dig back to where it started.
I don't think we were originally running around thinking bare bods were bad.
Clothes were for protection from the elements. Furs for the cold.
Hardly anything worn where it was hot.
A lot of it was for adornment and status then also.
But, that was before people started different cultures and creating the rights and wrongs the way they wanted to make it.

Paradise lost due to the old sneaking around and taking the forbidden fruit which seems to
attrack humans.
Take away the forbiddeness and it isn't so fun or thought so naughty, naughty.

 

[SusanLR]

Humans... Guess I'll never understand their strong urge to merge via sex. NTs or NDs.
I'll stick with it is a genetic switch that is turned on around the time of puberty.
So strong, it makes a desire that must be so irresistable it over rules all mental logic .

After all, if we had not been created this way the population would disappear and the need
to keep perpetuating it seems to be a strong drive also.
A few of these needs seem to have evolved out of some, but, very few.

Platonic relationships can have a very stable bond with strong connections.
Freud may not have thought so, but, it does happen.

And as far as society thinking bare bodies are naughty must have been developed by the people themselves.
I just can't buy the story of a snake giving an apple made them run for a fig leaf.
Of course that is just from one culture's belief. So human beliefs.