I am sick of humanity in general.

[Progster]

I don't put pressure on myself to do things beyond my comfort zone unless it really is necessary, or to fit in, or to be something that I'm not, and I don't allow other people to put pressure on me either, and this has become easier as I got older.

 

[sidd851]

When I was a child, I ran around with cotton stuffed into my ears.
I couldn't stand fireworks, heavy machinery noise, traffic sounds and such.
As I grew older things started changing and I developed the same way of the seemingly overactive
brain being always aware, even in a dead sleep.
If I go to sleep with music playing softly, I wake up as soon as it stops.
Same with any of the many night sounds. Somehow I know if there is even a short interruption in
the electricity around me sound. Like when it goes off for a split second.
Same with knowing if someone is approaching my room.
There is even a change in the overall sound of night turning into day.
Never could explain this, but, glad to see someone else has the same sensitivity to this "morphing" sense.

I can't seem to rid the tinnitus ringing in my ears though.
If I can be very relaxed, but, this is rare, it semi leaves.

Age 13 was when my sensitivities and anxiety started getting worse.
I also developed some physical ailments and my parents let me home school high school.
Then I was able to go to University even though not comfortably.
It was more interesting and I had gained more control of self by then.

As for the sound, I'm definitely with you.
As I said, at a young age, my... traits seemed so much stronger.
In the absence of emotion, or understanding of it, things just were. It took time and self awareness, to realize my sensitivities, is the way it seems to me.
By accident, it seems, I slowly learned to examine whether and what I felt, and if it was comfortable or not, sensory wise.
It seems as though awareness of emotion came later.

Yes, I got told the same thing - this is something i find difficult... the pressure to be fun all the time, always cheerful, happy, smiling, to always be humorous, and if you are not, then you are ignored, rejected or not included.

I also felt this pressure, exactly as you say, but I... somehow... shaped? my... mask?
because of it?
If otherwise pressure isn't too bad, I'm
able to rattle off inanities, cynicism,
curses, and jokes, just like everyone around me. I've learned to be "like" everyone else.
It's camouflage. The feedback lets me know how well I am analyzing the situation, and, I've gotten very good at predicting.
But! I have found that I can slip some of the genuine me, my observations, into the mix,
and in that way, I can put others a little bit more at ease with my "quirkiness".

There is a cascade effect, though, if I am personally attacked.
All the "fun" goes away, and I'll retreat.
I'll "duck and cover" until I'm able to fully retreat, and analyze the situation.

The "funny, happy" me is a pre-emptive strike.

 

[sidd851]

I don't put pressure on myself to do things beyond my comfort zone unless it really is necessary, or to fit in, or to be something that I'm not, and I don't allow other people to put pressure on me either, and this has become easier as I got older.

Absolutely.
However, I've also found that I have been
able to expand that comfort-zone.
If it's just short of a melt down, it may be tolerable for a very short time.
If it's a mild irritance, I may be able to deal for quite a while.
There's the whole spectrum of both, in between, correlating to one another.
I'll use that time to look for a way to fix it,
lessen it, or, last, get away.

I guess my avoidance of disliking something in the most intense way
appropriate, to me, is because the disliking is as uncomfortable as the
thing itself.
So mine has become a collection of
pre-emptive strikes, mitigation, and damage control.
"Engineering mode" for meltdowns.

 

[Gracey]

Take some time for yourself.

Do the things you do to help calm or soothe yourself.

You’re right, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it’s absolutely pants !

The trick isn’t to ‘stop’ - as appealing as that might be,
The trick is to find a different way to get your head around current issues.
Find healthy ways to help soothe and calm yourself.
It reads like you need it.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

I have come to the conclusion that I hate the human species. With a few exceptions. There has been so much crap I have had to deal with, none of which is my fault, all of which could have been prevented were it not for the idiots that surround me. I won't go into detail about that here, because some of you already know and besides if I said everything that has happened to me in the past month then this post would be five freaking feet long. But humanity hates me. And humanity doesn't understand WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE AN OVER ACTIVE BRAIN THAT WILL NOT SHUT THE HECK UP AND OVERREACTS TO EVERYTHING LIKE NOISE AND EYE CONTACT AND SO MUCH OTHER CRAP THAT NEUROTYPICALS COULD NEVER DREAM OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To those mindless people who think my struggles are a joke: TRY. HAVING. MY. BRAIN. FOR ONE. FREAKING. DAY!!!!!!! YOU'LL BE SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE THEN!!!!!!!! TRY NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE!!!!!!! TRY HAVING EVERY LITTLE NOISE SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU!!!!! Try being constantly told that you are "too uptight" when EVERY LITTLE THING TIPS YOU OVER THE EDGE!!!!!!! It's not fun.
To those people who know what I go through: How the heck do you do it??? I obviously can't handle anything and a bunch of you can. I'm so jealous. How the heckio????


Sorry for the very aggressive post.

No need to apologise. I am amazed this is almost exactly what I was thinking this morning. I have no idea how to keep calm and not lose my temper or have constant anxiety and raised adrenaline and upsetting recurring thoughts/ ruminations when the people (I didn't get to choose to be) around me don't seem to care or even know about being considerate, or compassionate or respectful. I am trying to think of some sort of advice to end this post; but I can't even tell you it'll get easier because it might or might not.

 

[Moomin]

Wow. I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You’re only thirteen, and school can be hard for anyone. But you’re dealing with additional “stuff “ and that’s extra hard. I’m sorry that you have to deal with questionable classmates, and what they have texted to you. That’s not on. And I can understand how you feel. I had something similar when I was a little bit younger than you. And that was very hard to take in...

However, you’re stronger than they will ever be. It doesn’t seem like it at the moment but you’re at least aware that there are triggers. Which is more than what I had when I was your age.

Develop coping mechanisms to help you when things get too much. If ear plugs don’t work (and they don’t always, I know) try noise cancellation headphones or if you like music set a playlist of your favorite music that you know soothes you. My playlist ranges from Classical to kpop, and when I find myself in situations that are difficult I can at least feel that I have some control over the situation. If you need a safe place, find areas that you know that you can be safe in. Somewhere that is quiet and safe. If you’re in school, a library is a great refuge. As for,people....well, do what you feel you can do. Don’t worry about people too much.

Most importantly: Be kind to yourself. Take appropriate steps to do things that you know will help calm you down. And forget what anyone else has to think. You are just as important as they are.

 

[wight]

@Horsegirl , as to the "how did I get through it" question... though these days this falls under the CBT or CPT methodology, I did it before I knew such things existed. Using the ticking clock as an example:
Laying in bed, trying to sleep, stupid clock ticking ARGH!
1. Say/Think to yourself... ok, that clock is annoying
2. focus all your attention on the clock, listen to it tick, tune out everything else
3. say/think... it is just a clock, it is not a threat, it is being a clock by ticking
4. repeat 3 to displace all those "why do my parents have a ticking clock for f- sake?" kind of thoughts, until your awareness and thoughts are completely focused on just the ticking and "it is not a threat, it is just being a clock"

This is a form of mediation really, but the idea is both to calm yourself and reduce the anxiety of that particular thing. Yes, it takes practice, lots of it. But as you do this with multiple things, you will gain some control over your reactions to your environment.

Oh, and turn your phone off at night. Also, everyone that sends you a nasty text... block them, they can send all the texts they want but you won't see them anymore. No point in letting negativity into your space if you can stop it.

 

[Gritches]

That's a tough age, 13.

Just realize that even in the adult world, 95% of people don't have a single thought in their entire head that is worth your hearing.

At 13, that number is closer to 100%. Focus on learning and forget about trying to please/impress people, and you'll end up in that 5% minority as an adult who actually have something good to say.

 

[SunnyDay16]

I didn't like most of the people I had to be around in school either. They were annoying, obnoxious, mean, proudly ignorant, etc. Pretty much all the traits I don't like in people. There were a few genuinely cool people though and those people were tolerable.

If you're forced to be around crappy people five days a week, then I can't blame you for being sick of humanity. Our views are heavily shaped by our experiences, after all. I just hope that you can find people who make you feel a little better about humanity and I think being here can help you with that.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I have come to the conclusion that I hate the human species. With a few exceptions. There has been so much crap I have had to deal with, none of which is my fault, all of which could have been prevented were it not for the idiots that surround me. I won't go into detail about that here, because some of you already know and besides if I said everything that has happened to me in the past month then this post would be five freaking feet long. But humanity hates me. And humanity doesn't understand WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE AN OVER ACTIVE BRAIN THAT WILL NOT SHUT THE HECK UP AND OVERREACTS TO EVERY FRIGGIN THING LIKE NOISE AND EYE CONTACT AND SO MUCH OTHER CRAP THAT NEUROTYPICALS COULD NEVER DREAM OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To those mindless people who think my struggles are a joke: TRY. HAVING. MY. BRAIN. FOR ONE. FREAKING. DAY!!!!!!! YOU'LL BE SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE THEN!!!!!!!! TRY NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE!!!!!!! TRY HAVING EVERY LITTLE NOISE SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU!!!!! Try being constantly told that you are "too uptight" when EVERY LITTLE THING TIPS YOU OVER THE EDGE!!!!!!! It's not fun.
To those people who know what I go through: How the heck do you do it??? I obviously can't handle anything and a bunch of you can. I'm so jealous. How the heckio????


Sorry for the very aggressive post.

I feel the exact same way! I've been pushed away for years by people who get annoyed aty sensitive hearing! My friend is the only one who has any empathy for my sensitive hearing. My grandma does a little. She ordered me some ear defenders just recently. But my own mother doesn't listen to me about my sensitive hearing. It's always "But you're just as loud as us, and you hear yourself louder than anything else." I'm like, "MY BRAIN DOESN'T FUNCTION LIKE YOURS! You know I have autism. I can't just 'get over it'; I need help for that!" I hear everything, but people mumble everything when they speak, so they blame my earplugs. Ever since my ears opened up at age 14, I've NEVER gone a day without being tortured by the loud, smelly world! My life is just pure agony!

 

[OlLiE]

most things in the world are organised based on a normal distribution:
- a very small number of very bad
- a small number of bad
- a massive number of average
- a small number of good
- a very small number of very good

i tend to see it as a rather small of decent educated people, a massive herd of cattle and a rather small group of bad people

once you lower you expectation of the cattle, steer away from the bad, you can focus on appreciating the few good people around you and on being happy, rather than wasting time on getting upset about people that can never realistically aspire to be more than cattle (seek safety in number, consume, create waste, procreate, die)

 

[Nauti]

At 13 I had no friends. School was torture. My mum boarded me out to a Scottish family. I was exceedingly depressed and lonely. I developed an eating disorder. Yeah, life was utterly hellish.

It gets better. Especially when you make supreme efforts to better yourself.

I used to lose myself in reading at your age; my saving grace.

I had a lot of trauma, chaos, abuse, domestic violence and upheaval growing up and I had to dissociate to survive. So I became very dissociative and shut down, emotionally and socially. Not great but it meant I could survive.

I'm amazed I survived my childhood and adolescence, but I became a teen mum to an abuser so, yeah, life's been tough.

If I can survive my early life, I reckon you can get through your's!

Perspective is a great thing. Try to notice and appreciate the positives in your life. The more gratitude and appreciation you cultivate, the more things there seem to be to appreciate!

It's all a matter of focus.

I got into drama in school, which helped me "fake it til I made it", really, really important to be able to put on a social persona until it gets easier.

Don't worry, lots of us were excessively grumpy at your age. You'll get a handle on things. It just takes time and commitment and focus and learning and lots and lots of epic endurance. Not easy, I know, but worth it.

I got to have a brief stint as a "horsegirl" it was thrilling!

Count your blessings, dear, you may not want to hear that, but, in my experience, it really helps!!!!

 

[wight]

Also, for some folks with ultra-sensitive hearing, it can help to have "white noise" while sleeping. Some things I've seen people do:
white noise machines: can be expensive
small table fan: cheap
electronic static on a loop: free

there are a bunch of "white nose" things on You Tube, static, forest, rain... also various music based sleep things on 8-12 hour loops.

Everyone is a little different in what works best for them, so if one doesn't work, maybe try something else.

The recorded electronic ones can also be put on your phone or whatever and played in your headphones when taking a test (assuming your school will allow such things).

On the subject of earplugs, those foam disposable ones are just OK for temporary situations, but long term you probably need to consider something like those from Alpine ($10-50 per pair)

Out in the world, the only option is really noise cancelling headphones or earbuds.

There are such things has custom made noise cancelling ear plugs, but can be really expensive, like:
ProtectEar ($120 and up)

Multiple edits to add additional information.
Last edit to add: umm, can you tell I've given this some thought? LOL

 

[Judge]

Also, for some folks with ultra-sensitive hearing, it can help to have "white noise" while sleeping.

I tend to listen to an audio loop of the sound of rainfall from my clock radio. Or occasionally the drone of crickets on a summer night...or even ocean waves on a beach. The effect can somewhat drown out more unwanted sounds, although I never have the volume of such ambient sounds set very loud either.

Here's one a bit newer than the one I have:

SoundSpa® Digital FM Clock Radio with Time Projection

 

[TempeFan]

Sorry for the very aggressive post.

No need to apologize for shouting, go ahead and get it out. I held it inside and, according to the smart doctors who cured me, that's what stressed my body into giving me cancer more than once.

When I couldn't take all the hate for being different, I used to lock myself in my room, put on really good headphones, and threw myself into my studies. I am not very smart but by focusing my efforts and over applying myself in my studies, I got good grades, so some teachers were nice but kids are so mean.

What really helped was hanging out with good people whenever possible. I had a best friend from 5th grade on, who lived with her mom and grandmom right up the street. I also spent as much time as possible visiting this older couple who lived with Grandma Buck. She was 90 years young and claimed her secret to a long life was to start each day with a shot of bourbon. Old folks are quite kind to young folks who visit them when no one else cares about them anymore, so are animals. Is there a place you can go that has old folks and animals? Do you have a horse or other pet?

 

[Horsegirl]

No need to apologize for shouting, go ahead and get it out. I held it inside and, according to the smart doctors who cured me, that's what stressed my body into giving me cancer more than once.

When I couldn't take all the hate for being different, I used to lock myself in my room, put on really good headphones, and threw myself into my studies. I am not very smart but by focusing my efforts and over applying myself in my studies, I got good grades, so some teachers were nice but kids are so mean.

What really helped was hanging out with good people whenever possible. I had a best friend from 5th grade on, who lived with her mom and grandmom right up the street. I also spent as much time as possible visiting this older couple who lived with Grandma Buck. She was 90 years young and claimed her secret to a long life was to start each day with a shot of bourbon. Old folks are quite kind to young folks who visit them when no one else cares about them anymore, so are animals. Is there a place you can go that has old folks and animals? Do you have a horse or other pet?

Yes, I have multiple pets (3 guinea pigs a dog and a horse) and I visit my grandma at an old folks home every weekend

 

[TempeFan]

Good set of IRL friends! Lot of teens on this forum, so let them know what ideas from all your forum friends works best.