Sensitive Topic I can't take it anymore! I'm thinking of committing suicide

[nagibator]

Another thing that may help you is to allow you negative thoughts. Things that you observe to be undesirable. And then try to voice them in loving way that loves yourself and the person you are voicing it towards. A good video on that is this one Negative Thoughts Are Good! - Teal Swan -
She is pretty good on explaining different facets of spirituality and how it relates to "normal" human psychology.

 

[Grandmother B]

It's a half hour walk to my psychiatrist and I don't know if I need to make an appointment first and I have work tomorrow. When I don't take my Concerta, then I don't have any energy at all.

I hope you have gotten help by now. You do not need an appointment at ANY doctor when it is an emergency like feeling suicidal. Please update us on how you are doing! Praying for you (if you are not a believer, it can't hurt you.)

 

[Hazel87]

Aww it sounds like you have a tough living situation right now... but please don't give up hope. I promise that it gets better... I really really promise. You're still so young, please hang in there. Try and take a deep breath and remind yourself that it will get better.

How high functioning are you? Are you able to live independently or look into assisted living, away from your family? I know that I go nuts when I live with my family.

How educated is your family about ASD and things like stimming? Would it be possible or worth while to give them some information?

I'm sorry your dad seems not to understand at all. I'm really happy that you posted and reached out for help here. Is there any services or counselling or support like that that you can access in your city?

Feel free to message me okay? I've been there and I can also help you to try and find some resources in your community.

 

[moonchild22]

I feel like you're waiting for someone or something to save you without even asking them to or without doing anything. The problem is that you are the center of YOUR universe so don't you let yourself depend on other people and don't expect miracles. Just take that phone and get things done, don't let yourself down because you're the person that you can depend on the most. Believe me, everything ends one day, so will your suicidal thoughts, you only need to help yourself a bit. Good luck!

 

[moonchild22]

I feel like you're waiting for someone or something to save you without even asking them to or without doing anything. The problem is that you are the center of YOUR universe so don't you let yourself depend on other people and don't expect miracles. Just take that phone and get things done, don't let yourself down because you're the person that you can depend on the most. Believe me, everything ends one day, so will your suicidal thoughts, you only need to help yourself a bit. Good luck!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that this was an older post...my advice is still good,though

 

[the_tortoise]

These suicide thoughts happen when i'm on my Concerta.

Depression can be a side effect of stimulant medications like Concerta.

It may sound weird, but it really happens. I think it is usually related to feeling slowed down and tired/empty zombified by the medication (this is what happens to me -- I am the opposite of you, it does not give me energy at all, only takes it away), but everyone reacts to medication differently.

Tell your doctor how your Concerta seems to cause/worsen your feelings of depression. Maybe you need to take a lower dose of it -- or maybe it would help to switch to a different medication.

[Edit:] Now I've read through the whole thread I see you/your mom already talked to your psychiatrist and I'm glad something is being done to sort this part out

My grandmother keeps thinking that i'm aggravating her when all i'm doing is stimming.

I am guessing that your stimming is distracting or annoying to her in some way.

It really sucks that she doesn't understand you aren't being distracting/annoying on purpose -- that you are just sef-regulating.

Would it be possible to ask your grandma if she could tell you nicely when your stimming is bothering her -- then would you be able to try to go to another room, or to move to part of the room where she can't see you stim?

This would show her that you do care about her feelings and aren't doing it on purpose, and maybe she would start to understand?

Ideally you wouldn't have to leave the room at all, or you and your grandma could take turns with leaving the room...but your grandma would have to understand your stimming first.

My father thinks the reason that i'm depressed is that I don't have enough structure when the real reason is because all people are doing is judging me about my behavior all the time. Whenever I mention to my father that I want to commit suicide, he doesn't take it seriously and thinks that i'm just being silly.

I'm sorry he doesn't listen/understand, that is awful.

Is there anybody else you can talk to?

Do you have a counsellor? If you don't have a counsellor, would you want one? If you might like to talk to a counsellor, could you ask your doctor to refer you to someone?

Counselling is not for everyone, but with good counsellors I have found it helpful. Sometimes they can even advocate for you and help talk to your family so that your family can understand you better.

My parents think that whenever I kiss my two cuties and call them Cutie and Pinny The Pooh, that i'm bothering them, which is not true at all. Can you please give me advice?

My advice is to directly ask your little brother and sister if they are okay with you kissing them and calling them "Cutie" and "Pinny the Pooh" -- my suggestion is to ask them "How do you feel about being kissed and called [cutie/pinny the pooh]?"

If they say they don't like it, then ask them if there is some other affection they would be okay with. (For example maybe they could pick their own nicknames, or maybe they would like hugs or high fives instead of kisses?)

If your brother and sister say they are okay with your kisses and nicknames, then you could tell your parents you asked and have the "okay" from them.

 

[Grandmother B]

How am I going to convince my parents to call my doctor?

You may call him yourself. You are of age if you are 20. Please do it. He can straighten out your parents!

 

[Nason]

It's a half hour walk to my psychiatrist and I don't know if I need to make an appointment first and I have work tomorrow. When I don't take my Concerta, then I don't have any energy at all.

your next option would be to go to your local Emergency Room (ER). Your health is more important than making money.

 

[Otenba]

My advice is to directly ask your little brother and sister if they are okay with you kissing them and calling them "Cutie" and "Pinny the Pooh" -- my suggestion is to ask them "How do you feel about being kissed and called [cutie/pinny the pooh]?"

If they say they don't like it, then ask them if there is some other affection they would be okay with. (For example maybe they could pick their own nicknames, or maybe they would like hugs or high fives instead of kisses?)

If your brother and sister say they are okay with your kisses and nicknames, then you could tell your parents you asked and have the "okay" from them.

I truly hope these siblings are not under age of consent if they are real people. I honestly cannot tell.

 

[Bolletje]

I truly hope these siblings are not under age of consent if they are real people. I honestly cannot tell.

nope.

 

[Otenba]

nope.

Ah, not good. :|

 

[the_tortoise]

I truly hope these siblings are not under age of consent if they are real people. I honestly cannot tell.

I assume you mean the age of consent for sexual activity? I am not sure how age of consent is relevent.....

Are you thinking that the kissing OP referred to was sexual kissing? Without actually seeing what's happening and having all sides of the story, that is a possibility.... but I would not assume it to be the case. (Particularly since OP's parents threatened to kick him out of the house if he stopped working -- seems likely that if they're prepared to kick him out for not working, they'd be prepared to kick him out for behavior that made his young siblings feel sexually violated or that was sexually inappropriate; Not guaranteed his parents would respond this way, of course....just seems likely to me, since abusing siblings is a way bigger and more serious problem than not working.)

My understanding of this situation was that the OP was talking about platonic/non-sexual behaviors.

Lots of people use kisses in a platonic way (in some cultures even "peck" type kisses on the lips are a common way for friends and family to express non-sexual affection), and it's quite possible that his siblings could have been/were bothered for reasons other than feeling sexually violated (e.g. feeling infantilized; being used like emotional comfort objects regardless of their own wants/needs; non-sexual personal space violation; annoyance and frustration at being distracted/interrupted by OP's insistence on seeking comfort from them).

I'm not saying that violations of bodily integrity or personhood only matter if they are sexualized ( that's not what I'm saying and is not what I think). I'm just saying that age of consent is not relevent unless an interaction is in some way sexual.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

The guys either :

1. Long dead
2. Doing okay.

Thread from July 2017.

Where's our update @Ephraim Becker

BTW, if you're number 1 as above.

World first on aspies central - proof of the after life.

 

[scrp14]

I once felt the way of being helpless, gone through some tough times (still am), fought through my depression without medication through regular exercise and sometimes yoga, or watching some science documentary explaining that you were nothing before you were born and will be nothing when you die, which to me suggests that you should make the most of your life however pointless of an existence it might be. Death is the final unknown, and most of life seems known to me as a pre-defined existence, providing defects in my genes that led to specific unwanted changes to my physiology and mental state.

Sure I get easily frustrated by people constantly judging me for not having a job at my age with the skills that I have, being told I don't want to work when half the time I am dead bored sitting at my computer always on the search for jobs or something to occupy my time, whilst surviving on relative pensioner whom I rely on for food, rent, internet, and everything accommodation related. Some days I feel guilty for being a burden on them, but if I chose one day out of the blue to commit suicide or run away from everything, the same would befall them, plus a certain fee for funeral services, adding much guilt on myself if things didn't go to plan and if the attempt would have failed, my life would be much worse, likely bed-bound in a hospital ward suffering the indignity of not being able to relieve myself in the comfort of my own home.

 

[Ephraim Becker]

The guys either :

1. Long dead
2. Doing okay.

Thread from July 2017.

Where's our update @Ephraim Becker

BTW, if you're number 1 as above.

World first on aspies central - proof of the after life.

I'm still alive. I no longer have suicidal thoughts after I got off of Concerta. Now i'm having issues like when my parents do something that I think is not fair, I hit them. My mother scheduled an appointment with my Psychiatrist last week (the first time since the suicidal thought incident) and she put me on Risperidone because of the hitting problem.

This topic should be closed.