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I can't vent or else it's gossping?

Kit

Kit

Well-Known Member
********. I haven't felt myself lately and the last thing I need is not support and get accused of gossiping. How are we supposed to let it all out or talk about it if it's gossiping?

I've seen my mother come home from work and talk to my dad about issues she had with her boss and that was gossiping?

I find gossip to be BS. People have every right to vent and talk about their issues. None of my friends are online for me to talk to them to feel better. I know I have lot of support here and if the mods here think I am a gossip box, then they would not be good friends for me and I wouldn't trust them for support if they are going to think this of me. Just shows how misunderstood I am.
 
You are not misunderstood by me.


I do the same thing and my bf tells me not to and to just vent to my friends privately because I'm not being his friend when I complain in public about something he said or did or thought or whatever that I didn't understand. I was told also on WP (and I think that was a big reason why I got banned) to stop it, by Makeyourownsausages, who wasn't even a mod at the time. However, others (regular members) told me they enjoyed my play-by-play accounts of my life. I was also told by ShitButt to stop it and she said "You know, if you don't give me permission to lock your threads I'll lock them anyway." So what was the point in asking permission? She told me I was pointing fingers and laying blame when I never. I just said "Why did he do this and why is he REFUSING to tell me why he did this to me?", etc. (Now I know it's because he shuts down because he doesn't handle stress very well.)
 
To my understanding, gossiping is the act of divulging another person's personal details, actions, or secrets to another person/other people to either receive attention or to pit others against someone else to further their own interests or agenda.

Venting is to relieve pent up frustration by either physical interaction with another object or person (punching bag, pillow, art, instrumental expression, in extreme cases temper tantrum, physical confrontation, the like [although obviously this is more commonly referred to in other terms lol]), or more commonly to complain or exasperate details of a conflicting interest or emotion to another person or people. In other words, the method you choose define whether you're in the right or wrong.

Obviously, the margins between the two are very close indeed. Sometimes it's better to pick up a physical activity that you enjoy.
 
Ana54 said:
You are not misunderstood by me.


I do the same thing and my bf tells me not to and to just vent to my friends privately because I'm not being his friend when I complain in public about something he said or did or thought or whatever that I didn't understand. I was told also on WP (and I think that was a big reason why I got banned) to stop it, by Makeyourownsausages, who wasn't even a mod at the time. However, others (regular members) told me they enjoyed my play-by-play accounts of my life. I was also told by ShitButt to stop it and she said "You know, if you don't give me permission to lock your threads I'll lock them anyway." So what was the point in asking permission? She told me I was pointing fingers and laying blame when I never. I just said "Why did he do this and why is he REFUSING to tell me why he did this to me?", etc. (Now I know it's because he shuts down because he doesn't handle stress very well.)
Click to expand...

Gossip:
1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors as facts.

Venting:
1. To express (one's thoughts or feelings, for example), especially forcefully.
2. To release or discharge (steam, for example) through an opening.
 
gamers1700 said:
To my understanding, gossiping is the act of divulging another person's personal details, actions, or secrets to another person/other people to either receive attention or to pit others against someone else to further their own interests or agenda.

Venting is to relieve pent up frustration by either physical interaction with another object or person (punching bag, pillow, art, instrumental expression, in extreme cases temper tantrum, physical confrontation, the like [although obviously this is more commonly referred to in other terms lol]), or more commonly to complain or exasperate details of a conflicting interest or emotion to another person or people. In other words, the method you choose define whether you're in the right or wrong.

Obviously, the margins between the two are very close indeed. Sometimes it's better to pick up a physical activity that you enjoy.
Click to expand...


I don't understand gossip. I know I talk about people when they piss me off but doesn't everyone do that when they had issues with them? We all need to talk to let it out and we need friends to listen and understand, not be put down. I don't see myself doing gossip here. Was it so bad of me to say how I was having issues with WP and how my account got deleted or how I got treated by meadow and sinsboldly?
 
No, it wasn't bad. Some people will lay the guilt trip on you to prevent you from talking certain stuff about them; they'll say "That's unethical, telling them that about me! It's MY business only!" or whatever, so that you won't tell anyone and you'll be alone and the minimal amount of damage will be done to them. This is either to torture you for their gain, or to protect themselves.
 
Ana54 said:
No, it wasn't bad. Some people will lay the guilt trip on you to prevent you from talking certain stuff about them; they'll say "That's unethical, telling them that about me! It's MY business only!" or whatever, so that you won't tell anyone and you'll be alone and the minimal amount of damage will be done to them. This is either to torture you for their gain, or to protect themselves.
Click to expand...

Unless one has ethics and morals, and that allows one to understand what they are trying to explain to one. In other words, it is none of one's business, and one is intruding on their lives where one has no right to be. It is not to torture one it is so one doesn't torture them and they have every right to protect themselves against the onslaught. If one dosen't know to stop on one's own, then is because they asked not to that one stops.

there, is that better? I am not necessarily judging YOU, but if the shoe fits . .
 
I just said one reason was to protect themselves, if you'd read my post. Why do people always judge you when they haven't even read your whole post?
 
TBH, IMO, if you're going to ***** about another member from another board that frankly, no one cares about, or no one knows anything about, do it off a public board. If not, people ARE going to perceive you as bitchy and gossiping regardless of your justifications.
I'm not trying to act morally supreme, 'cause I talk about other members over MSN and Skype all the time(not really on this board, idk anyone on here well enough) without giving them a chance to refute my claims, but I don't act like it's anything but unfair and bitchy.
Also, Ana, I'm sure you have your reasons, but I think you need to take into consideration how your boyfriend feels, like, really take into consideration. I've been in relationships where the guy has gone off and bitched to a mutual friend after we had an argument or something, and it's just irritating and wrecks the relationship. I've also been mutual friends of couples, and if either participant were to know what the other told me, it would have ended ages ago. I know your relationship is nothing to do with me, and I know nothing about it, and thus, shouldn't be allowed to comment, but it's just from my personal experience, and others, that it's a really negative thing.
And one also has to take into account(on an unrelated subject[in terms of Ana's relationship]) that Meadow may be experiencing problems offline, which is influencing her behaviour online. Or, of course, from her perspective, you could be the *****.
Yeah.
That's my opinion.
I don't have a problem with you guys. You make me laugh and imo, are pretty awesome.
But regardless, I thought I'd say what I thought anyway.
Even if it has nothing to do with me, and I'm actually being a hypocrite.
EMZ=]
 
Well her point of view is flawed then if she sees me as the *****.

If my friends were online, I would talk to them and sometimes some of them upset me because they don't respond and they act like they aren't at the computer and I find that so rude and it gets me more upset because I still have no one to talk to. When a friend is upset and needs to vent, they need you to hear them out and to not respond to them is pretty rude. I do ask them if they are there when they don't say anything. I know they might not have anything to say like what advice to give out or what feedback. I just have to accept a few of them are not great friends for me to talk to about.
 
I told you that I was learning what he felt and that he just couldn't take negativity because he was depressed.


I wish people would read my posts BEFORE judging me... but maybe you weren't and just thinking of something else.
 
I thought that was pretty silly, that the name making thread got locked, just cause Emz threw her toys out the pram. It was just a bit of fun. Hardly bullying. And sinsboldly is the bully.
 
It had nothing to do with Emor? We just thought that calling other sites names and then other members/people names wasn't the way we wanted our site to go :(
 
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