I come off as threatening in school. What should I do?

[Ereth]

I think you're not grasping something. He's not the one who misunderstood, but this has nothing to do with "the system" or "justice" or anything like that. It's a simple error in communication that went horribly wrong---not only because people threatened the OP, but because the OP responded to that by escalating the situation. I'm not saying he's "the bad guy" or anything, but he has to learn to be aware of his own behavior. Answering threats with more threats in a fit of anger obviously did nothing to resolve the situation.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Trying to project the image of being tough, and cursing and stuff, almost always backfires. Believe me. If the other person is the one who is truly a jerk, acting tough will only make him act worse. If you curse at an authority figure (a teacher) that will always backfire. Because, no matter how tough you may be, the teacher always actually has more power. And no matter how scared or non-tough a teacher may be, he or she has the power to crush you, a student. That's just the way it works. Better to keep your head low, listen, stay quiet, calmly explain your side. No matter who you're trying to act "tough" to, it backfires The less "tough" people just end up calling the police on you. The more tough people end up actually kicking your ***.

 

[Gratiaetnatura]

Cursing in school was not the proper response, but in opposition to many of the replies, I believe the teacher's and student's reactions were overblown and reflect the extreme oversensitivity and political correctness that is destroying academic life (I speak as a university philosophy professor). Although it would be improper for me to say this to someone in person, at times I'd like to tell people to take their sensitivity and place it in particular displeasing location. People easily offended are seeking power over others, and they use their sense of offense to bully others. If you curse them, though, you are playing their game, you are doing what they want you to do. It won't matter to them if you try to explain what you mean--I am familiar with Gladwell's work and know what you were saying. To the oversensitive, you are guilty no matter what you say. Apologize for cursing; this is imperative. I would not apologize for anything else. Unless someone stands against academic Fascism, it will become more dominant and the true bullies will win.

 

[Autism]

I'm a 17-year-old senior in High School, and today in Psychology Class we we doing surveys all hour. We picked random questions answerable on a scale on 1-10 (ex. "How much do you like summer?"). Anyway, after filling in some charts and graphs--feeling really good all-the-while (I even told this super sweet girl she was beautiful; she seemed a little creeped out, of course, since I'm a creepy person, but it made me feel good to know that she know's she's beautiful)--we came to a question on our assignment that asked what could be improved in the survey to fit the general population. I said that a more diverse study sample would be a good start, as those participating in the survey were white, middle-class, of polish and German descent, from suburbia, and Midwestern (Michigan, to be specific). After writing that down and discussing those points with my group, a female Indian-American student told me that she was not white. I told her that she was an outlier--as, of course, is correct and completely non-offensive. She, as well as myself (as I am Latino), are both statistical outliers in our mostly white suburban community. She did not seem offended at all. I thought i noticed that people were giving me dirty looks after that comment, but I assumed that I was just being paranoid or that the class was showing its usual disdain towards me. About 20 minutes later, class had ended, and this person I thought was my friend told me that he would "beat my ass" (or something of that nature) if I had said that to him (at the time, I had no idea what he was talking about). A few seconds later, and the teacher was giving me an emotionally-charged speech about the "terribly offensive" thing I had said, and that three people had threatened to "do something" if I had said that offensive comment to them (to me, I assumed that meant that they wanted to break my bones and induce unconsciousness). Now, I'm not a very cool person: I'm boring, I'm annoying, I'm a terrible conversationalist, I'm unattractive, I'm not that funny (other then some shock-value comedy), I'm weird, and I'm pretty nerdy. The only thing I've got going for me is that I'm big, muscular, and tough. I don't let anyone, not anyone, mess with me. So, at this point, I was relying on my only asset--toughness. I called out the teacher (the student who had threatened me had already left the room), asking her to explain, in my words, "what the f--k" she was talking about, while puffing out my chest (at this point "fight-or-flight" was running wild)c She had made silly points aboutme "singling her (the girl I said the supposedly offense comment to) out" and making her feel like an outsider. I explained to the teacher that she was wrong, that I was ascribing the statistical concept of an outlier (a piece of data lying outside the normal distribution) to the girl I had made the comment to. The stubborn teacher proceeded to ignore what I had said, insisting that what I said was offense. I told her that her ignorance was offending me deeply, and we parted. Meanwhile, I clenched a sharp pen between my finger while making a fist, so that any punch on my part (in self-defense against ghost boys whom wanted to hurt me) would cause crippling damage that would ensure my safety and my "toughness", as well as sending a message to other provokers. Anyway, after coming home and discussing this with my mother, she said that I came off as threatening to the teacher, and that she (the teacher) did not deserve to be cursed at. I completely disagreed. However, I began to see her point about coming off as threatening to the teacher, and I began to be troubled by that prospect. What if I've been hurting people all this time at school by threatening them, and I don't even know? I'm certainly not trying to threaten anyone; I'm only trying to come off as tough and someone you don't want to mess with (which has generally succeeded). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings; I just want to put up a barrier to protect myself from people's judgements, opinions, and disdain for me at school. If I'm not tough, I have nothing. I have no identity. I'm smart, but that's about it. Otherwise, I'm a fat, boring loser. I can't not be tough--it's all I've got! But, I might be hurting people, and I want everyone to be happy and precious! I don't know what to do about this situation at all. Tomorrow I have in-school suspension for cursing at the teacher, and I'll have time to think about what I've done, but I'm afraid that's maybe I'm the "bad guy" in this whole situation, and that there is something I can change about myself for the better. I don't know what to do; can someone please help me?

You are very very young. When you grow up you will learn that it does you no good to show honesty to baboons. Most people are baboons, mindlessly chewing on some leaves all day while making growling, groaning noises that they then describe as intelligent speech.

From a theoretical standpoint of view one can certainly mention the truth but will then face people who see a theoretical statement as a personal statement.

I have learned that despite the fact of what I know I can not tell that to people. It would offend the suckers to listen to the truth, those poor souls.

It is much smarter to evaluate, decipher and then be very cautious too.

As you enter the workplace you will have to be very careful about people who do not understand Aspie thinking. It is maddening to us that such amoeba like life forms even exist, but we have to conform to a dumb world.

As if that is not enough we also have to be quiet and not let others know about it.