I do not know what I am going to do

[grommet]

Thank you. [hard to speak today, all I could say right now]

Grommet, your feelings are totally natural, but know that they will eventually pass. I was, and on occasion, still feel, very heartbroken over losing my ex of 5 years. I really identify with some of the reasons you've explained why your relationship was so significant in your life, I personally seriously considered my ex to be my "partner." But...people change, and as sad as it is, your relationship ended because you both changed, I.E., neither of you are the same person you were when the relationship began. So after a certain period of regaining the part of yourself that isn't defined by your relationship, you'll feel like you have some bittersweet memories, rather than an open, possibly infected wound. You just have to go with the flow and try not to let your tomorrows be affected by your yesterdays. In the future, this stuff will still be painful, but in a way you're proud of, rather than laboring under.

 

[Judge]

I've said it many times. Seems to apply to many things apart from depression.

To take life one day at a time and no more than that. The simplest way to keep things from overwhelming you. When life gets too complicated, looking beyond your horizon can become toxic. So you focus on your life over what happens in a period of hours rather than days or months.

While being single again can be a tough and lonely transition, whatever you decide over shorter intervals will likely go down a little easier.

 

[antimatter]

Any advice for an NT who went through a break-up with an aspie recently after having been together for 3 years...we even started a business together...Uggh. The part that is making me crazy is not that she broke up with me, but that we were best friend, and true loving partners, and then she left without a work and never expressed a single emotion about it. It's like we never existed. Not one expression of sentiment or caring about anything we did or shared. I can't wrap my head around it. Hurting.

 

[abby normal]

just remember from now on, that conditional love and affection is NOT love and affection at all! it is just play-acting IMHO, and ultimately counterfeit. who needs counterfeit?

 

[antimatter]

Thank you...it's good to get constant reminders. I felt like I had that with her for the first year and then everything changed. Is this something aspies can "fake" for awhile?

 

[starving_artist]

Grommet, there are some good people here! What JCPHN just posted is so true!

Hey, I wanted to add that I, too, am obsessed with Star Trek TNG, but when you said ropes -- well, we are kindred spirits! my obsession isn't ropes but I own an antique vessel/boat, and I've restored her and she's my life. I live for her, as she is my own starship. Anyway, as it relates to boating, I'm totally into ropes and making the mariner knots, and you'd be surprised how many there are, or maybe knot (pun intended)

In Star Trek TNG, there's one episode that I relate to the most. I forget the title but I know you'll know the one: it's when the guy shows up to talk to the organic alien space ship that's about to go into the sun b/c the ship lost his crew and has roamed the universe alone for centuries and just can't deal with it anymore. The guy is a flawed empath and is too sensitive, and no one really likes him except Troi...but he ends up saving the space ship and abandons everything to be on the ship so he can have a home and friend. That's the guy I relate to...

the episode you're talking about i believe was called "tinman". TNG got me through highschool because of such episodes.

 

[JCPHN]

Grommet, hang in there. I don't know what to say except, thank you, for listening. I'm glad I could help and I wish I could share some of my experience with you in that you move on, even when it seems like it'll never be the case.