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I feel things in sobriety that I would rather not feel.

Metalhead

Metalhead

8647
V.I.P Member
Isolated living with extremely limited public transportation, for example.

I need more of a social life. It is not going to show up at my doorstep.

What I need are realistic solutions, not platitudes. Not entertainment, either. And certainly not another beer.
 
When all of my local friends are far too busy to visit me and eventually disappear, all I have in life is long distance friendships, my job and my mountain of entertainment at home. This is no way to live, a bullet in the head seems preferable to a life like this. At least I have a relocation to look forward to.
 
If you have free time, (friends busy), l would be data-mining the current job market of where you are going to. You can study their employee want ads, check salaries, see if any company reviews, is there a lot of turnover? I would check gyms, transportation, events happening. This gives you motivation to work towards your long-term goal. You also can compare what you are bringing to the skill set they are advertising.
 
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Metalhead said:
God had abandoned most churches these days.
Click to expand...

Did you visit some? I don't even mean it like I'm trying to convert you this time. Church is just a great place to socialize. Lots of nice, friendly people. That is almost my entire social life, which is still not a lot, but I was experiencing depression from isolation after graduating from college. That was when I first went to a church. I wasn't Christian, I just thought it might help to be around people. So now I socialize 1-2 times a week, which is plenty for me and does indeed help. I too am struggling to resist addiction, though mine is with various drugs, not alcohol.
 
But I really felt your title. I've almost said the same exact thing. Sometimes I word it as, "I can't stand reality."
 
Metalhead said:
Isolated living with extremely limited public transportation, for example.

I need more of a social life. It is not going to show up at my doorstep.

What I need are realistic solutions, not platitudes. Not entertainment, either. And certainly not another beer.
Click to expand...

Just out of curiosity, what made all of this any different when you weren't sober? Or are you basically just saying that these feelings seemed 'easier' to deal with (for lack of a better term) when you could drown them out?
 
That’s one key to long term sobriety. We must figure out how to face the things that we were running from. We have to have the feelings now.
 
I am thinking an ice cold 12 pack of beer sounds like a fine idea this evening. I will toast to one of my closest local friends, who done some dumb things while drunk and is now starting his three year prison sentence. Does this make any sense? No, it doesn't, but I am past the point of caring about logic right now.
 
OK, I am not going to buy alcohol on the way home. Instead, I will buy a bucket of Popeye's chicken. Forget my diet. What's the use of getting healthy if life is going to suck anyway?
 
Metalhead said:
I am thinking an ice cold 12 pack of beer sounds like a fine idea this evening. I will toast to one of my closest local friends, who done some dumb things while drunk and is now starting his three year prison sentence. Does this make any sense? No, it doesn't, but I am past the point of caring about logic right now.
Click to expand...
? How about lemonade instead
You are trying so hard to stay sober
It is a long time since I took that step (April 1983) and it was hard at first but got easier
I decided somebody in this household has to be a grownup, pay the bills and buy the groceries
And once I made my mind up to it, I stuck to that
The making up my mind to it was harder than the sticking to it ;)
 
I have a long weekend ahead of me with no visitors and no cash for a Uber ride to social events, and no public transportation within walking distance. I do have a Fred Meyer gift card I could use, but that's about it.
 
Correct me if I'm wrong, but arent you planning a big move to a new location?

If that's the case, you at least have that to look forward to, and your social situation could change dramatically once it's done. Even if it's awhile off, it's something to work towards.
 
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