I got a question for the non verbals

[Mary Terry]

@Mary Terry, it sounds like he communicates very well!

My cousin is developmentally disabled. She had brain damage at birth and at 56 is thought to have the cognative abilities of an 8 year old. But she is also largely non-verbal. But unlike your nephew she lacks sophistication in her communications. Still, I watch her get frustrated over her inability to express her thoughts and I wonder if there isn't far more going on in her head than the doctors give her credit for.

I wonder if every non-verbal child or adult had their own Anne Sullivan to teach them how to communicate if they wouldn't thrive.

I believe that most nonverbal people are "in there" and have a heck of lot more going on in their heads than anyone gives them credit for. They just lack the tools to express it. Perhaps some simply don't want to communicate but so many are frustrated by their inability to do it.

My nephew has evolved a lot over his 30+ years, and he is getting better at expressing himself. I'll always help him any way I can. I love him.

 

[Suzette]

I believe that most nonverbal people are "in there" and have a heck of lot more going on in their heads than anyone gives them credit for. They just lack the tools to express it. Perhaps some simply don't want to communicate but so many are frustrated by their inability to do it.

My nephew has evolved a lot over his 30+ years, and he is getting better at expressing himself. I'll always help him any way I can. I love him.

He is lucky to have you!

 

[Mary Terry]

He is lucky to have you!

Thank you, Suzette. I'm lucky to have him, too!

 

[Soleil]

I am on the forum all the time typing away. But I don't actually speak a lot. Like others I am often struck mute in very stressful situations. But most of the time I just don't have a lot to say. I can go days and days without saying anything. Though, I can be chatty in the right situations of which there are few.

When I go mute though it's like a dream where you can't talk but I can't open my mouth to try either.

I'm kind of like that. It's a LOT easier for me to type than it is to speak. Not just less effort, but I have an easier time expressing myself.
In person, I'm pretty quiet and only really speak when spoken to.
Speaking itself requires an effort, and while I can usually make that effort there are circumstances in which it's much harder, especially if I'm tired, upset, or feeling overwhelmed. Then, it's like asking me to move a huge weight; I just don't have the strength.

 

[Crysalis99]

Back in November I think it was my daughter was in school and was accosted by a well known volunteer of the school district. The volunteer just didn't want to do with my daughters behaviors. Like had the school not taken appropriate action, I would have had to call the local news station (I *try* to live by the motto, do the right thing, all the time and suing just isn't in my nature). This included aggressive touching and being pulled by the back of the shirt down the hallway.

The school advised me my daughter went non-verbal for 20 minutes. That was the first time I ever heard of my daughter going non-verbal. She has since4 done it at home a couple times but not nearly as intense as in the school it seemed.

As for myself? I don't go non-verbal, but mentally I get to a point where I just want to shut down and be alone with my own thoughts. I think someone above mentioned above that it just becomes a point of taking too much energy to even socialize with someone I am really close with like my mother.

 

[Suzette]

@Crysalis99, I hope your daughter is having an easier time of it. She may have discovered that she has a bit of power when she doesn't speak. Not a problem, just carry on. All of us like to effect our environment sometimes.

 

[Crysalis99]

I'm kind of like that. It's a LOT easier for me to type than it is to speak. Not just less effort, but I have an easier time expressing myself.
In person, I'm pretty quiet and only really speak when spoken to.
Speaking itself requires an effort, and while I can usually make that effort there are circumstances in which it's much harder, especially if I'm tired, upset, or feeling overwhelmed. Then, it's like asking me to move a huge weight; I just don't have the strength.

I relate to this.

 

[Crysalis99]

@Crysalis99, I hope your daughter is having an easier time of it. She may have discovered that she has a bit of power when she doesn't speak. Not a problem, just carry on. All of us like to effect our environment sometimes.

My daughter is aware she has ALOT of power - going back to the ex-wife's borderline stuff, the daughter uses suicidal ideations to hold power of getting out of math class quite often. But yes, just because of everything we have been through, I have her in therapy seeing a private practitioner utilizing both EMDR and Neurofeedback to address the trauma related pieces. Overall, at home, I do see the benefits. Not sure how she is doing in school (behaviorally) at the moment. Its been a hot minute since I got a call so I will guess she is doing a bit better there too.

 

[Suzette]

Hang on to "better" because better only gets better and is enough for now. In my experience the minute you cease to appreciate the small gains your family will slide 10 paces back.