I see "too much" detail

[Pats]

YES! Happy birthday!!!

 

[Progster]

The phycologist who diagnosed me said that he knew I was on the spectrum in the first 5 minutes of meeting me because I repeated a point about something many times.

Do you find that people shut you down? Do you get frustrated because people won't let you finish? Or that people aren't paying attention to you? This is what happens when I do my over-explaining or over-elaboration. I realise afterwards that the person got it and I didn't need to continue explaining, but at the time, I feel that I haven't explained adequately and I keep rephrasing and end up saying the same thing many times.

 

[puzzlingbill]

Thanks, this is great advice. How do you present the fact that they can get further details from you if the summary isn't enough info?

At work (and I'm retired now) I didn't have a specific technique. I tended to mentally organize things in outline form, and try to sum things up in bullet points. That would make me mentally separate the main point of something from the details. Some people just want the bullet point and if you go into the details with them, it will just make their eyes glaze over.

Outside of work, I need to concentrate on not going on too long. My wife always dreaded it when I would get started and then keep going. Learning how to stop takes a lot of practice.

 

[BeachLife]

If you want to know something from the inside out, ask an Aspie!
I can only speak for myself in this case because it is something I've done a lot of soul searching over. I've always been told I go into too much detail - "going back to the dinosaurs" is a phrase I've heard more than once. Some of it I think comes naturally.
A good example would be of an evening watching TV with my wife. I'll spot an actor who I've seen before in Star Trek for example - I spotted Marc Alaimo in Naked Gun 33 1/3 - his voice is unmistakable. So I called up a picture of Gul Dukat on a tablet and showed my OH. I didn't just say "Oh he used to play this regular alien character in Deep Space Nine.
Oh no...
By the time I finished she had heard all about the fascistic political system of the Cardassian Union, the war with the Federation, the occupation of Bajor, the family dynamics of Cardassians, Cardassian torture ("There are FOUR lights!"), Gul Dukat's possession by a Pah Wraith, what Pah Wraiths were, how they related to the wormhole aliens, how that related to Bajoran religion....
Thankfully she's very patient - I'd be single if she weren't!
But outside of that there are other reasons. I only started to realise this because of the discomfort I can feel when I truncate explanations. I feel like there is too much left unsaid, that my statements lack weight without being put into context.
I have been misunderstood so many times by people who made an incorrect assumption about something I have said and it has been turned against me. My need to go into detail is partly a defence against that. If I make the context of everything explicit then there is less leeway for interpretation.
Trouble is it doesn't work that well - if someone wants to hate on you, they'll find a way. So I try very hard not to do it these days - I try to keep to what I think are the specifics they want to know and wait to ask questions. It ain't easy

Hi and thanks for your great response. Yes I like this idea that yourself and another member suggested about telling the basics but be prepared to answer lots of questions.