Miscellaneous
Well-Known Member
Hello everyone,
I am a twenty-year-old female that has been previously 'officially' diagnosed with OCD, panic disorder, social anxiety, major depression, and generalized anxiety. I've been in treatment for these illnesses for several months and I've discovered that underneath my social anxiety and with my depression lifting a bit - I still feel like there is something (not necessarily wrong), but different with me. The main striking feature is that I just feel uncomfortable with others. It's more than anxiety, when I'm with other people - whether they be my peers or people older or what have you - I feel as if I'm in an invisible bubble. Even if a person appears to be interested in and likes me, I might as well be sitting alone (and I prefer that nearly all of the time). So, my first reaction was that I might have schizoid personality disorder (after some beginning research). However, while studying schizoid personality online, I came across a note comparing and differentiating schizoid from Asperger's, and it occurred to me that I might fit the criteria.
I'm quite shy and I have some difficulty asserting myself so I don't want to bring it to the attention of my therapist without looking into it a bit more. I thought the best place would be to go to people who have Asperger's because you would recognize the symptoms in me the best.
I have a tendency to go into too much detail so I'm going to make this as concise as possible.
My symptoms that seem to fit the criteria:
General social awkwardness, a level of discomfort with other people that never goes away - even with close(r) family members and peers I have known for many years, craving social contact and relationships but when faced with them in reality I have no interest, general sense of disconnect from other people, not being able to apply emotions to my loved ones (I know that I care for them on some level, I just cant feel it or express it), I have had difficulty meeting people's eyes in the past but I've almost overcome this with years of practice for social anxiety, inappropriate or lack of affect (having no feelings in typically emotional situations or unintentionally smiling or laughing when faced with other's grief), feeling as if all social interaction requires me to put on a 'mask' or 'human suit' so things will go smoothly, all behaviour is forced (but sometimes I am impeccable at reacting), interpreting others facial expressions as menacing and taking it personally, severe lack of coordination (poor balance, poor spacial reasoning, inability to take direction, having trouble following instructions), mild sensory overload problems (sudden loud sounds, repetitive noises causing moderate anxiety, feeling overwhelmed in noisy places, inability to have a conversation with someone if they're whispering or in public), certain textures (cotton balls, chalk) cause anxiety.
Stuff that doesn't fit criteria:
I am able to understand others' social motivation and emotions because people are one of my biggest interests. I like to objectively analyse other people when I'm with them one-on-one and I categorize and recognize manipulative behaviours or phrases. I theoretically have no problem understanding and even giving advice about how to get along with others (the people I know actually always come to me for relationship advice, ironically) but have a hard time applying it to myself. Generally, I am a good judge of character and most people FEEL like they can connect with me no problem (even though it's not really reciprocated deep down). I also do have great objective empathy even though I lack emotional responses, I do feel guilt and sorry for other people and try to incorporate that in my decisions. I do not have narrow obsessions - I engage in compulsive behaviour like pacing and skin-picking but that's related to my OCD.
So, this was much longer than intended (which if I'm being honest with myself, I shouldn't have expected an ability to limit myself, I can be what my mother calls a 'motormouth'.
Any thoughts?
:wacko:
I am a twenty-year-old female that has been previously 'officially' diagnosed with OCD, panic disorder, social anxiety, major depression, and generalized anxiety. I've been in treatment for these illnesses for several months and I've discovered that underneath my social anxiety and with my depression lifting a bit - I still feel like there is something (not necessarily wrong), but different with me. The main striking feature is that I just feel uncomfortable with others. It's more than anxiety, when I'm with other people - whether they be my peers or people older or what have you - I feel as if I'm in an invisible bubble. Even if a person appears to be interested in and likes me, I might as well be sitting alone (and I prefer that nearly all of the time). So, my first reaction was that I might have schizoid personality disorder (after some beginning research). However, while studying schizoid personality online, I came across a note comparing and differentiating schizoid from Asperger's, and it occurred to me that I might fit the criteria.
I'm quite shy and I have some difficulty asserting myself so I don't want to bring it to the attention of my therapist without looking into it a bit more. I thought the best place would be to go to people who have Asperger's because you would recognize the symptoms in me the best.
I have a tendency to go into too much detail so I'm going to make this as concise as possible.
My symptoms that seem to fit the criteria:
General social awkwardness, a level of discomfort with other people that never goes away - even with close(r) family members and peers I have known for many years, craving social contact and relationships but when faced with them in reality I have no interest, general sense of disconnect from other people, not being able to apply emotions to my loved ones (I know that I care for them on some level, I just cant feel it or express it), I have had difficulty meeting people's eyes in the past but I've almost overcome this with years of practice for social anxiety, inappropriate or lack of affect (having no feelings in typically emotional situations or unintentionally smiling or laughing when faced with other's grief), feeling as if all social interaction requires me to put on a 'mask' or 'human suit' so things will go smoothly, all behaviour is forced (but sometimes I am impeccable at reacting), interpreting others facial expressions as menacing and taking it personally, severe lack of coordination (poor balance, poor spacial reasoning, inability to take direction, having trouble following instructions), mild sensory overload problems (sudden loud sounds, repetitive noises causing moderate anxiety, feeling overwhelmed in noisy places, inability to have a conversation with someone if they're whispering or in public), certain textures (cotton balls, chalk) cause anxiety.
Stuff that doesn't fit criteria:
I am able to understand others' social motivation and emotions because people are one of my biggest interests. I like to objectively analyse other people when I'm with them one-on-one and I categorize and recognize manipulative behaviours or phrases. I theoretically have no problem understanding and even giving advice about how to get along with others (the people I know actually always come to me for relationship advice, ironically) but have a hard time applying it to myself. Generally, I am a good judge of character and most people FEEL like they can connect with me no problem (even though it's not really reciprocated deep down). I also do have great objective empathy even though I lack emotional responses, I do feel guilt and sorry for other people and try to incorporate that in my decisions. I do not have narrow obsessions - I engage in compulsive behaviour like pacing and skin-picking but that's related to my OCD.
So, this was much longer than intended (which if I'm being honest with myself, I shouldn't have expected an ability to limit myself, I can be what my mother calls a 'motormouth'.
Any thoughts?
:wacko:
I think this is the 1st time I actually said "hi" here 
