...I have such minimal skills

and such little equipment and such non-helpful potential situations that I'm below the level where a " tutorial video " is very helpful. Though he's nasty to me, Ezra is correct in that I really would like someone next to me answering my questions and showing me what to do - 1I'm not of the " grew up with computers " gender a tion. It wasn't casually around me. And I found out rather late.
And my social status and things connected with it, and my difficulty with social codes makes it hard to approach people

- my being handicapped too, though not " recognized " enough as handicapped. I have just so little knowledge and all alone on a teeny phone that's often close to breaking isn't the place to watch You tube instructional videos, I'd need to climb up the basic skills level at least b before I could do much with that. I cannot figure out how to transfer a picture I take to anywhere. I cannot upload something onto YouTube. I cannot do - a lot, and I need more basics then " watch a video " which basically does demand you have skills and equipment and convenience time I don't have

. I actually do have a netbook now but I cannot now get it working.
Understand: tutorial videos are made SPECIFICALLY for those that dont know anything about the subject at hand. That's the entire point. You say "you're below the level", but.... no, you're exactly the sort of person who videos and content like that is made for! Even I can learn things from such videos on different subjects, and I've a memory so bad I can forget things while I'm in the middle of doing them. If I can do it, so can you.
Here's the other thing though.... look, after Ezra's comment, I instantly remembered who you are. And he's right.... you've been doing this for ages, and getting nowhere.
But the #1 thing I've always noticed with your posts over all the times I've seen you make them is your attitude. You have to drop it. DROP it. Get rid of it!
You cant do these things, partly because you have DECIDED that you cant do them. You've given up the fight before the battle even began! OF COURSE you arent getting anywhere, when you do that! I mean, look at what you post here... it's always these topics filled with sad emojis and such... it just radiates "I cant do this", and it also radiates "I'm not even trying". If you want to get somewhere, if you want things to change, then you gotta switch that up. Stop saying "I cant" and start saying "I'll try, and I'll learn".
And understand: working "one on one" with someone isnt going to be quite the experience that you think it will. Typically, when you have a tutor or someone helping you like that, they DO NOT want to hear that kind of attitude and will react negatively. After all, the entire point of a tutor is to get you to be able to do these things for yourself. If the person they're trying to help is all "I can never do this no matter what" how is the tutor supposed to get their job done and help at all? I mean, good grief, you could be asking direct questions in these very threads, but you dont. You dont know how to transfer photos, or upload things to youtube, you say... why didnt you just ask? We can tell you (usually). You're so deeply mired in this "I cant win" attitude that the asking doesnt even happen... how do you expect anyone at all to help?
If you want things to change, if you want to improve, then you have to bloody well stand up and make it happen. It *will not* happen on it's own... no matter how many posts like this you make. You may not like that fact, but it's how it is for everyone. Get up, and TRY. If you dont succeed? DO IT AGAIN. And when you need assistance? Dont post topics full of crying faces. Instead, just ask direct questions, and think about the answers you get.
We all have to do these things. It's the only way we learn anything... period. This goes for NTs as well. You can do it, but only if you drop that attitude and allow yourself to get there. It's all up to you... it's not up to us, and it wont be up to anyone that helps you "one on one". YOU decide that attitude... so decide.