• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

I wish people would stop telling me life will get better

Status
Not open for further replies.
Penguin, if you must know. But it really doesn't matter. It's more of a general statement directed at no one and everyone at the same time.
 
That makes a load of no sense I think if rather talk to penguin he's not pushing his opinion on me, and he's actually understanding and listening to me. I bet you didn't want people telling u how to feel or misunderstanding you, when you already felt bad so maybe you shouldn't be doing that to me
 
I wasn't telling you how to feel at all, but okay. If you find that one-on-one conversations will be more helpful for you, AspiesCentral has a conversation function you and Penguin can use.

Best wishes.
 
Yeah this is my thread I will talk to penguin here if I want to, your acting like a bully now.... Stop trying to control the chat and situation it's not yours to control we are both humans and can do what we want!
 
That's fine, I don't want people trying to control my thoughts, personality or ideas it's not there place this is something I need to decide on my own x
 
Amelia
Finding a good counselor is no different than finding a good boyfriend, or a good doctor or a good restaurant. You have to try a few out to find a good one. Yours does not sound to be a good match for you. You may want to consider finding someone you are better suited with.
 
I think a lot of people are genuinely trying to help you and help you find ways to help yourself. But if you only want people to respond with sympathy that everything stinks and everyone is bad --be aware that having people "co-sign" that misery is not going to help in any longer term way. Ask anyone who has ever made it from that place to a much happier one. We can never control others. We can never get them to respond the exact way we want. We can only create a happy little home in our own self and make our own choices to keep that place a good one. No one on this planet can do that for me.

I have enjoyed seeing a variety of responses to various problems on this site. Someone may be helped by one type of response and another person by another. As forum threads, no one owns the discussion even if one starts the topic. If there is a desire for topics that relate only to one person and the answers have to be what that one person wants to hear, I am not sure that serves the group and purpose of a forum well.

I will add what has been helpful to me. It may not help you but might help others:

I had to learn to care about others and their perspectives. I had to learn how their minds work and then become a translator in negotiating my needs to get understanding. The support and understanding I have from NTs has vastly increased when I learned about THEM. And then became my own cross-cultural translator. The aut Dr I go to has recently said I am becoming a great translator.

I think many of you could become even better translators that I have become. I get limited by neuro and sensory problems or I would like to be being a better advocate or speaker.

I love the following prayer. I am spiritual but not religious. I think we are part of a God consciousness.

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace--that where there is hatred, I may bring love--that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness--that where there is discord, I may bring harmony--that where there is error, I may bring truth--that where there is doubt, I may bring faith--that where there is despair, I may bring hope--that where there are shadows, I may bring light--that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted--to understand, than to be understood--to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.

This may seem to be the exact opposite approach to take when isolated, abused and alone. But it has been amazing for me.

I have a feeling life will still be life (objectively full of bad things) and that many of you will get to an autastic peaceful state of being.

Hugs to all. Sending strong love/vibes to Amanda. You are already great and perfect. You need no one's permission to be so!
 
I don't care about moving forward have tried doesn't work and no don't want sympathy wanted to share my feelings which I am entitled to do and don't have anyone close to talk to so
 
Amelia, I understand some of what you're saying. Maybe a little bit differently, but I'm sure this will make sense. For me, I can't stand it when I'm feeling down and other people try to "cheer me up" or tell me to think positive, etc. Sometimes, it's as if they're saying that more for themselves, so they can feel better about themselves for having "tried" to help. Some people do genuinely care and are actually trying to help of course. Though, regardless, sometimes you just want to tell them to let you be glum and dreary in peace. ;) Sometimes being told to think positive is the absolute wrong "medicine", and what's really needed (at least for some people) is to just let things run their course. Maybe it takes a few days, weeks, etc., but someone else trying to "force" it by telling you to think and be more positive certainly doesn't help (at least for some people).

What I have found has helped me is simply to ride it out and ignore what everyone is telling me about "being positive". I also find that, for me at least, finding something else to focus on for the time being and really honing in on that to keep moving forward (studies/education, entertainment, building something, etc.) usually helps me eventually forget about all of the stuff that's gotten me down, and usually within a few days or weeks I'm feeling much better and/or past whatever had me down. This may not work for everyone, and in some cases it might make things worse for some people, but I just thought I'd mention it. I hope that's okay Amelia.
 
Dynamic said:
Amelia, I understand some of what you're saying. Maybe a little bit differently, but I'm sure this will make sense. For me, I can't stand it when I'm feeling down and other people try to "cheer me up" or tell me to think positive, etc. Sometimes, it's as if they're saying that more for themselves, so they can feel better about themselves for having "tried" to help. Some people do genuinely care and are actually trying to help of course. Though, regardless, sometimes you just want to tell them to let you be glum and dreary in peace. ;) Sometimes being told to think positive is the absolute wrong "medicine", and what's really needed (at least for some people) is to just let things run their course. Maybe it takes a few days, weeks, etc., but someone else trying to "force" it by telling you to think and be more positive certainly doesn't help (at least for some people).

What I have found has helped me is simply to ride it out and ignore what everyone is telling me about "being positive". I also find that, for me at least, finding something else to focus on for the time being and really honing in on that to keep moving forward (studies/education, entertainment, building something, etc.) usually helps me eventually forget about all of the stuff that's gotten me down, and usually within a few days or weeks I'm feeling much better and/or past whatever had me down. This may not work for everyone, and in some cases it might make things worse for some people, but I just thought I'd mention it. I hope that's okay Amelia.
Click to expand...
She is no longer a member of this site.
 
Amelia said:
It doesn't for me if I thought it would I would allow myself to get excited but no it always makes me fall harder and feel worse.... I know it's what everyone says things can better things will change, your not alone, try this and that ect. I've tried it all already stop, just please stop trying to make me feel better because i don't, I know every time I feel something will happen it goes wrong so I will be happier thinking it will go wrong. Then if anything good happens then obviously I would be more happy if I weren't expecting it. Thanks
Click to expand...

It can get better but only you can do that. Nothing in life happens for us. We have to do it all ourselves. It's ok to be optimistic! Eg "I really hope things work out well but if they don't, that's life. Onwards and upwards." You'll be surprised how much changing your thought process can make a difference! :)
 
Harrison54 said:
It stills says she is active but not on since Thursday. Given what she was saying I'm a little concerned too.
Click to expand...
yes but if you click on here profile page you will get an error. I spoke with her everyday and she told me she closing her account last Wednesday. Ignore the active status.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

New Threads

Top Bottom