If u could undo things in the past would you?

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I guess the only good thing about my teenage self was that I never got into smoking, drinking or drugs. I was way too innocent, and my mum had spent my whole childhood drumming it into me how bad smoking was. I wanted to go to pubs when I was 16 but was too young, then when I got old enough to drink in pubs it didn't interest me any more and social anxiety took over. But I was too innocent to know a lot about drugs.

That is really good.
I did not either
That is something to be proud of.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

It's probably fair to say we'd all prefer re-dos, but then we wouldn't likely make a point to learn from the mistake. We'd just keep re-doing till we felt it was the way we wanted and miss the new mistakes we make in the process. You can be reckless and flippant when consequences aren't permanent.
On the other hand, if you're asking if we want to time travel and do stuff in the past, where do I sign up?

No you are right.
That you do learn from mistakes and life is a learning process.
That mistakes make u wiser and it is ok to make mistakes particularly as an autistic but always.
If you do not make mistakes how would you grow, there are reason for dark times as well as happier times
And it is definitely hard but once you let go of the regrets you become better off.
I struggle with that and want to cling so hard to them because I think the way my life turned out is because of my bad choices but actually a lot of it was trauma and illness.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

So many things. That would be lovely, if someone has a time machine, let me know.

 

[Misty Avich]

Mistakes are good to learn from but I done the most stupidest and embarrassing things when I was younger that I now just cringe whenever I'm reminded of it.

 

[Jonn]

View attachment 116018

 

[AspieChris]

Ever watched the movie “The Butterfly Effect” with Ashton Kutcher?

Its sort of a road map to how many different ways that life can get worse when you go back in time and change even the smallest thing.

‘Fixing’ something in the past might mean that the future is even worse than you perceive it to be now.

There’s a reason why your eyes are in the front of your head looking forward, instead of looking backwards. It’s wise to remember your past. Unwise to think that it can be changed.

 

[Ken]

Yes that is trauma.
People sure hurt a lot and it is the very reason to keep practicing kindness. Everyone has issues but some people are simply too horrible and take too much.
I would never hurt you on purpose and I hope other people realise that you should be kind to others and try not to hurt them.
I lately myself have been wondering if kindness is worth it if people are not kind and understanding back. But I will keep doing my best because I do not enjoying hurting someone on purpose.

The hurt I'm referring to in that post was not to "horrible" people or anyone that I hated or was angry at, etc. My hurt to them (and me) was not intentional. I did not understand that what I said or did was hurtful until after I said or did it. It was a matter of my social blindness. I did not mean to hurt them. I cannot see anyway they could know that. Apologies are after-the-fact and are never a perfect fix or undo. This is one of the reasons I have such a crippling social anxiety. I simply don't know how to communicate properly. I consider it a blindness. I think I am a little better now in my senior years, but not good enough to be confident enough to lessen my social anxiety. I would liken it to briskly walking blindfolded through a crowd of people while carrying arm loads of sharp tools, knives, etc. I would fear that a collision would be imminent.

 

[Ken]

Would like to clarify that my posts in this thread has nothing to do with time travel or disruption of the order of the universe. It is only about regret.

 

[AspieChris]

The hurt I'm referring to in that post was not to "horrible" people or anyone that I hated or was angry at, etc. My hurt to them (and me) was not intentional. I did not understand that what I said or did was hurtful until after I said or did it. It was a matter of my social blindness. I did not mean to hurt them. I cannot see anyway they could know that. Apologies are after-the-fact and are never a perfect fix or undo. This is one of the reasons I have such a crippling social anxiety. I simply don't know how to communicate properly. I consider it a blindness. I think I am a little better now in my senior years, but not good enough to be confident enough to lessen my social anxiety. I would liken it to briskly walking blindfolded through a crowd of people while carrying arm loads of sharp tools, knives, etc. I would fear that a collision would be imminent.

I have caused a lot of pain to a lot of people because of my ‘social blindness’. I wish every day that I could go back and slap myself before the words came out of my mouth…. but I have to live with the fact that I can’t. It haunts me. I remember each time like it was yesterday and it all makes me feel like a complete a-hole.

All I can do is learn from my mistakes. No different than getting a parking ticket and paying for it. I am learning to follow rules that I don’t understand.

 

[Crusnik]

Short answer, i would most certainly. But the past is past, just make sure you don't repeat it, either with yourself or with some new people or with someone you already know. All you can do is change your behavior and mindset.

"I have caused a lot of pain to a lot of people because of my ‘social blindness’. I wish every day that I could go back and slap myself before the words came out of my mouth…. but I have to live with the fact that I can’t. It haunts me."

Same.....

 

[Jonn]

Ever watched the movie “The Butterfly Effect” with Ashton Kutcher?

Yep.

The "Edge of Tomorrow" was another good "time-shifting" movie.
Looks like there won't be a sequel, unfortunately.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edge_of_Tomorrow

 

[Jonn]

Would like to clarify that my posts in this thread has nothing to do with time travel or disruption of the order of the universe. It is only about regret.

Noted.

 

[Ken]

I have caused a lot of pain to a lot of people because of my ‘social blindness’. I wish every day that I could go back and slap myself before the words came out of my mouth…. but I have to live with the fact that I can’t. It haunts me. I remember each time like it was yesterday and it all makes me feel like a complete a-hole.

All I can do is learn from my mistakes. No different than getting a parking ticket and paying for it. I am learning to follow rules that I don’t understand.

...the past is past, just make sure you don't repeat it, either with yourself or with some new people or with someone you already know. All you can do is change your behavior and mindset.

At the time of these posts, I decided to just let it rest, but it has been eating away at me ever since and I feel I must get it off my chest.

Having my face slapped before the words come out would not help. Even after the hurt, I have no clue what caused the hurt or anger. It's hard to learn from mistakes that I'm blind to. I don't know what the mistake was: was it something I said or did? Even if I ask, either I don't understand the answer or an answer is not given. I don't even know if it was words or an action or an expression or body language or tone. I have absolutely no clue.

Indeed I have learned a lot. But obviously not everything. I can't learn what I can't see or comprehend. Things that I am totally oblivious to. Those are the things that hurt the most, because I can't learn how to prevent it next time. I can't "learn to follow rules that I don't understand" if I can't even see the rules. It's like, Rules?? What Rules??? Applied to what???, When???

What I have learned works best is solitude.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get it off my chest.

 

[AprilR]

Nothing. I have done my best with what i have, and i kept myself safe and alive.

 

[Midnights11]

Undo whatever it was that caused my autism. I’m pretty sure it was environmental, not genetic. Something that probably caused me to get it at the last minute when my mom was having me in the hospital. She apparently told me the doctor took ages and she was ready to have me. I think they put her on something to help me get out faster and well, yeah. *Sigh*

 

[AspieChris]

Undo whatever it was that caused my autism. I’m pretty sure it was environmental, not genetic. Something that probably caused me to get it at the last minute when my mom was having me in the hospital. She apparently told me the doctor took ages and she was ready to have me. I think they put her on something to help me get out faster and well, yeah. *Sigh*

There’s no way to know. In the USA there’s a class action lawsuit being filed right now against Tylenol. They claim that pregnant women who used it gave their babies Autism.

Additionally, I watched a documentary where they interviewed a bunch of really old 1st - 6th grade teachers. They all said that they have watched the number of kids who had troubles consistent with ASD steadily increase over the last 40 or 50 years.

It’s definitely a trait that is inherited, but it had to start somewhere right?

 

[Twilight]

This is a difficult question to answer. I’d like to avoid the abusive people who wrecked my life as an adult, but if I did, I wouldn’t have my son. Maybe I would have a different kid or even kids.

Maybe instead of avoiding trauma, I would’ve handled it differently. I’d be less of a doormat, and I’d seek justice.

 

[Midnights11]

There’s no way to know. In the USA there’s a class action lawsuit being filed right now against Tylenol. They claim that pregnant women who used it gave their babies Autism.

Additionally, I watched a documentary where they interviewed a bunch of really old 1st - 6th grade teachers. They all said that they have watched the number of kids who had troubles consistent with ASD steadily increase over the last 40 or 50 years.

It’s definitely a trait that is inherited, but it had to start somewhere right?

Yeah I heard about the Tylenol connection as well

 

[Slime_Punk]

Anyone who has learned from their past mistakes would do things over again.

I didn't do as much damage as a lot of ex-addicts, but I'd still take back a lot of the things I said to people in moments of impulsivity. I'd take back the times when I was selfish, especially when it wasn't for the sake of being able to better serve others, but potentially to neglect their needs instead.

Like a lot of people, I think I was just lost. Not necessarily malicious, but not knowing how to grow up.

 

[kazmen17]

There are many things I wish I could do over again or at least stop me from feeling the pain and shame I felt at that time. I recently started sifting through my old journal and the pain I share and feel with my past self is something I sometimes would rather forget.