If you are an Aspie in a Foreign Land. How do you cope??

[BlueSky Aozora]

So, then, don't bring him to see anybody. Give him the resources and tell him you can help transport him there if that is the case. Maybe give him ideas to leave a meetup if things get bad too. Like if it's not a good fit, then 15 minute max and then he leaves to ask for you to pick him up or something like that. You might be afraid that he won't try to use the time well and will just shell up and run. That is his issue, not yours.

But remember, don't do everything for him either. He needs to learn to be or build up to be at least somewhat self-sufficient. You deserve to have some of your own time and energy too unless what interests you is specifically only pleasing your husband no matter what.

All you can do is remind him that in life, sometimes we have to take risks and we have to deal with the consequences if they are not favorable. Even though that may be obvious, I think it still helps to remind ourselves of reality in the best way possible.

I'm personally more comfortable with meetup because you already know if some people will have common interest(s) to you or not since the groups are based on a specific interest or set of interests per se. That automatically gives each person a tool/resource to communicate with other people so that you feel less weird or just as weird as the people you are with. As such, joining a group online should still be used as a resource to meet people in-person sooner rather than later. If there's hesitation to meet in a public place from a group at the very least, look for another group(s) to join instead.

As the adage goes, you can lead a horse to water, but they are the ones whom have to drink it.

Thank you so much, Paloftoon. This, is very, very helpful, and the kind of support I need now.
- no need to do everything for him
- but at least be resourceful (so I need to find out something)
- meetup of common interest ( I guess i'll ask around too)

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Spend time alone and with animals. When I was volunteering in Mexico, I walked up the hill and discovered a pen full of goats. I talked to them.

When I was in Canada, I took every opportunity to be alone and look at the scenery.

That is a beautiful way of living.

 

[BehindtheScenes]

I once lived in a country alone with minimal public transportation and was car-less/couldn't drive. For me, I obviously try to do my research on customs, cities/attractions and download a lot of offline maps before throwing myself into a new environment. Then, 80% of the time I always seem to encounter a reliable local taxi driver who can help me get around, save me from any language barrier challenges, and drive me around at a discounted price or even for free.

Have I gotten lonely? No. I've also moved around many times as a child so maybe that's why living in 'new places' don't bother me as much.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

So, then, don't bring him to see anybody. Give him the resources and tell him you can help transport him there if that is the case. Maybe give him ideas to leave a meetup if things get bad too. Like if it's not a good fit, then 15 minute max and then he leaves to ask for you to pick him up or something like that. You might be afraid that he won't try to use the time well and will just shell up and run. That is his issue, not yours.

But remember, don't do everything for him either. He needs to learn to be or build up to be at least somewhat self-sufficient. You deserve to have some of your own time and energy too unless what interests you is specifically only pleasing your husband no matter what.

All you can do is remind him that in life, sometimes we have to take risks and we have to deal with the consequences if they are not favorable. Even though that may be obvious, I think it still helps to remind ourselves of reality in the best way possible.

I'm personally more comfortable with meetup because you already know if some people will have common interest(s) to you or not since the groups are based on a specific interest or set of interests per se. That automatically gives each person a tool/resource to communicate with other people so that you feel less weird or just as weird as the people you are with. As such, joining a group online should still be used as a resource to meet people in-person sooner rather than later. If there's hesitation to meet in a public place from a group at the very least, look for another group(s) to join instead.

As the adage goes, you can lead a horse to water, but they are the ones whom have to drink it.

I feel like i'm a bit anxious/overwhelmed when thinking what i'm supposed to lead him to. Like, searching for available meetups that he'll be comfortable with, or planning visits, or preparing for guests, etc. It's quite difficult to search ways so that he will be self-sufficient.

But I'm really grateful for your kind advice. It really helps stabilizing/soothing my inner worries.