If you are on the autistic spectrum, are you or have you been in a romantic relationship?

[Jonn]

I'm waiting.

 

[jsilver256]

Define romantic!

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Nope, never in my entire life. Never been on a date or ever kissed a girl. Never even had a true female friend. They are all fake female friends who pretend to care but never want to even walk two blocks with me solo. Never want to grab a bite or coffee as casual friends. Even that stupid Madison textationship which made me hate even more seeing Platonic guy girls hanging out. Never. My odds are 0% now. I wasted 5 years of my life busting my ass socializing, joining multiple groups and different events. Even two churches, but every damn time only couples and men would ask and bother me. Men would pester me to get coffee with them. There could be 20 women in a group and one guy and the stupid guy would ask for my number to hang to eat out every damn time every damn group. I am so stressed I recovered from an autistic burnout to think I had a Platonic friendship from that flake Madison which stressed me more now I am at the tipping point, swearing again and not caring about no one.

 

[Jonn]

Define romantic!

"Sex" or the intention of having sex at some point, must be involved.
I am not talking about platonic relationships/friendships.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

"Sex" or the intention of having sex at some point, must be involved.
I am not talking about platonic relationships/friendships.

Sorry. I had zero of that. I never even kissed a girl. The closes were hugs.

 

[Jonn]

Define romantic!

There is always one in every crowd.

Spoiler

...but usually it's me....

 

[FilterFreq]

I've been with my wife for 10 years, if that counts.

I realize how lucky I am though, because I know not everybody on the spectrum has the same experience. I've thankfully never had trouble finding partners, but finding the right one was the real challenge. There were also a lot of relationships that I should've gotten out of way earlier when I saw red flags but decided not to.

It's tricky, that's for sure. It's kind of a miracle that anyone ever finds someone they can stand over the long haul

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Unwatched. Can't deal with this crap.

 

[Misery]

No, never.

What's the term? "Aro-ace"? I think that's it. Zero interest whatsoever in either sex or romance. I can certainly understand that it is important to others, so I try to be supportive of anyone I know who might be having trouble, but in terms of me having any of that? Good grief, no.

I have however been approached more than once, so to speak. Not sure if that's the right word. AKA, someone was interested, said so, and then I turned them down.

Which is something I hope doesnt happen again. That occurred a couple of times, each time it was a friend who approached me, and then after giving them a rejection (very carefully, because I knew it would hurt), they drifted away from me and we're no longer friends, despite my best attempts to keep the friendship going.

That was years ago. These days, I wont let anyone get that close. Losing a longtime friend hurts too much.

 

[Misty Avich]

I've been in a relationship for 10 years exactly. It was also my first true relationship. I had a few guys ask me out before then and I gave them a chance but I didn't really fancy them. So I had to dump them, which I felt terrible about but it's kinder than stringing them along. I dumped them before a relationship actually developed.
My husband was the first man to come along who wasn't married AND I fancied (still do to this day). Before I met him, the men I came across were either married or not married but I didn't fancy. I flirted with different men but found out most of them were taken.

 

[Outdated]

I was in quite a few longer term relationships but I also had good social skills and a strong sex drive. I was always loyal when in a relationship but when I wasn't I was a pub slut.

I had a phat time.

 

[Jonn]

Losing a longtime friend hurts too much.

Tell me about it. <sigh>

 

[Jonn]

I was in quite a few longer term relationships but I also had good social skills and a strong sex drive. I was always loyal when in a relationship but when I wasn't I was a pub slut.

I had a phat time.

You sound more and more like a typical NT Aussie.
Are you sure you belong here?

Spoiler

SECURITY!!!

 

[Misty Avich]

I am usually nervous and shy, but when I like a guy I am not afraid to flirt. Obviously since being married I haven't flirted with anyone else at all, so I appear more shy and nervous than I used to be around men.

 

[tkcartoonist]

It's been years, but I was once. I kinda miss it.

 

[Outdated]

I'm from the other end of the spectrum. Further out there than most.

I was never able to chat women up, it simply wasn't possible for me, but I quickly discovered that I didn't have to. It has very little to do with looks or how you dress. It was simply a matter of always appearing happy and carefree. No one wants a whinger in their lives, they have enough trouble of their own without taking on someone else's problems.

So I'd join in conversations with anyone on any topic and never even attempt to chat any women up. The ones that were interested in me would soon get impatient and let me know what I might be missing out on. It's nice to feel wanted and needed, and that's what I get off on.

I was only ever with a prostitute once in my life, a misguided friend bought me one for a birthday present, and the situation totally weirded me out. No joy for me there.

 

[Misty Avich]

Being an unusual Aspie who doesn't have any trouble with understanding body language, I have always been able to tell when a guy liked me. So I guess that makes it easier at least.
I'm not vulnerable either. I know what I want. Yes I am easily flattered by men, even if they're just being dirty or whatever I still like it, but I couldn't let myself be easily led by doing what they say.

Back when I was single I had a crush on a bus driver and I used to try to fit my weekly schedules around getting the bus at the times I knew he would be driving it. The regular passengers knew I really liked him and have often joked to him that "his wife was waiting". I was young and they were elderly, so they probably did the same with soldiers and that in the second world war. But anyway I loved it when they said that.
However, I've always wondered whether if I was a young man hanging around a lady bus driver, things would be very different? Like, would the elderly passengers think it was creepy and even report me, thinking I was a threat?
It often makes me wonder if that's why men find it harder than women to find dates. Women can flirt and even touch men they like and usually men like it and nobody bats an eye. Well, they might see you as a pest but nothing more. Yet when a man does that, everyone freaks out and he's immediately labelled as creepy or some sort of danger.

 

[Tired]

Women can flirt and even touch men

Women often do this to another women as well, and wow does it annoy me when they do it. Stop touching me, I ain't your friend, and even if I am - ask me first, being a woman doesn't give you a magical right to touch anyone you want.

 

[Outdated]

Women often do this to another women as well, and wow does it annoy me when they do it. Stop touching me, I ain't your friend, and even if I am - ask me first, being a woman doesn't give you a magical right to touch anyone you want.

Quite often I'd have women come up and ask if they could sit with me for a while to get away from that sort of attention. Somehow they always seemed to know that they were safe with me and I wouldn't start harassing them either.

I also don't like people taking liberties, I don't like being touched unless I invited it. And even though there's nothing sexual about it I react violently when a bloke tries to put his arm around my shoulders. It's a classic con man ploy, it means they want something from you.

 

[MNAus]

Women often do this to another women as well, and wow does it annoy me when they do it. Stop touching me, I ain't your friend, and even if I am - ask me first, being a woman doesn't give you a magical right to touch anyone you want.

I also don't like people taking liberties, I don't like being touched unless I invited it. And even though there's nothing sexual about it I react violently when a bloke tries to put his arm around my shoulders. It's a classic con man ploy, it means they want something from you.

I dislike men or women touching me uninvited, but what really angers me is when you can sense that you're being used as a prop. Women seem to do it with some sort of main character thing going on where you are a walk-on NPC part in her story, men literally as a prop in something else (a con, to impress people, to demonstrate a personality trait they don't actually have, e.g. funny guy).