If you love someone, what would make you push them away?

[PetraTAYLOR]

Quite complicated to answer, but for arguments sake let’s say 1.5 years

See thread...
No idea how my HFA man feels about me (NT)

 

[Judge]

For me that's an easy question to answer.

That which drove me to wanting solitude. "Quiet time" not away from my significant other so much as anyone and everyone. At a time when I was totally unaware of being on the spectrum of autism. Where it ultimately cost me all my relationships with Neurotypical women.

When I was unable to properly explain that it's nothing personal. That our need for occasional solitude is about us- not them.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

Quite complicated to answer, but for arguments sake let’s say 1.5 years

reading that thread, it may be a situation where the thrill is gone as there seems to be a lot of monkey branching going on with both of you. you satisfied his physical needs for a time and now he's bored and has sort of moved on. that's one possibility.

there's also the possibility that this guy has a routine and also needs his solitude and may see you as getting in the way of those things. looks like a "don't call me, i'll call you" situation. you obviously want more but he's satisfied with how things are now.

you need to have a talk with him(another talk) about how you feel about the relationship. if he's reluctant to talk with you then you can either go on with how things are and just deal with it or decide that you want more in a relationship and move on.

 

[Tom]

If they had been rolling in cow dung.

 

[BraidedPony]

Yeah, or a flammable liquid and I’m smoking...something. Actually, that would be more of a turn and run the other way situation.

 

[freya8711]

i want to say thank you for all these honest posts. I wish I had found this forum earlier. I think it would’ve made some of my actions and approaches different and not bc he is HFA which INdidnt knownat dirst but bc that’s how I am with everyone important in my life: I find what works best for them in our relationship esp arguments. His sudden (and I mean sudden)”it’s over/no match and I don’t want to love you” at least has context now to why it halpened. I’ve honored his no contact request for 5 days now. he on the other hand still follows me, likes a posted photo, put the song I’ll Always Love You in my timeline and went from longish hair and scruff to a buzz cut. I’m not responding bc I have no clue if I should or how to. Maybe as I read here more I’ll see more answers or get more understanding.

 

[onlything]

Short-time? Getting overwhelmed, even by things that don't involve them, like work-related stress, prolonged social contact or sensory issues. Ignoring set boundaries. Depressive episode.

Long-time? Too much pressure for a prolonged period of time concerning a specific issue, especially emotional. Triggering my phobia, unintentional or not.

Very-long or no-come-back? Violence, angry outbursts. Betrayal of trust.

 

[tducey]

If they took advantage of me, that'd be a big reason.