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I’m afraid I’ll never be married

My ultimate point is, there is life after disillusionment.
Stoicism is a powerful, pragmatic philosophy. :cool:
I agree with many of the teachings of Stoicism. I wouldn't say that I am a "follower" per se, as in something I study and practice like a religion, but I was raised with many of these values and it has stuck with me. Whenever I have looked at the teachings of Marcus Aurelius and other Stoic philosophers, as I discovered these late in life, I was already "of the mindset" and they only reinforced what I already believed in and how I lived my life.

I might say that my Stoic belief system, however simple it may be, is the underlying foundation of my success in marriage, fatherhood, my career, and how I became a self-made man.
 
I don’t think I will ever find anyone who would want to be married to me.
@BryceMcBryde
It's okay to feel these feelings and examine why you have them, but I would suggest that you beware of this sort of thinking so that it does not become a self fulfilling prophecy. If a relationship is something that you want, please consider the following:

- 21 feels like you've lived a long time, but you are just at the beginning of adulthood. Many people who have shared their stories of successful partnerships on this forum found their person well after 21 years old.

- You don't know your future. Life is going to happen and change is inevitable - the way that things are right now are not how they will always be and your circumstances will evolve over time. You don't know where that will bring you.

- You have some power over this. You can make changes to your life where you put yourself in situations where it is more likely to meet a partner that is a good fit for you.

The stories we tell ourselves have a great impact on our actions in life. Do not resign yourself to feelings of hopelessness and despair when you likely have many long years ahead of you.
 
What do you mean by "I take care of my mom"? Are you helping her out financially, helping around the house, etc., but she is physically independent? Or, is she physically dependent upon you for activities of daily living? Either way, I commend you for being that sort of person in her life. However, as you already know, this could be a deal-breaker for any potential partner. "I can't do this/that because I have to be there for my mom." is not going to be received well.

Now, having said that, and I am just imagining a situation where this might work, perhaps it might be that a female partner, who might have children and a career, needs a person in the home to be a father and mentor to her children, take care of the home, do the bills, transport the kids, etc. She might be looking for someone she can trust implicitly to be that responsible, reliable person. Marriage is a partnership. It's a 1+1=3 equation where both benefit for an additive effect. It's not about you, it's not about the other person, but rather "us". Being a stay-at-home father is not uncommon these days, nor is working from home. If you had your own home nearby to your mother (within a mile, or so), so that you can check in on her frequently/daily, that might be a workable solution.

I know that in some cultures, there may be up to 3 generations of family members under the same roof and they make it all work. It's just not something most of us in the US are used to dealing with. My parents did the same with their parents when they became elderly, that is, after they put on an addition to their home and made an independent living space for them. Most people are not able to do this though.

I can feel your concerns here, as your situation does narrow down the "playing field". However, working at a busy, metropolitan hospital for nearly 40 years, seeing the 100s of thousands of people over the years, I have seen all sorts of life partners making it all work, whatever the situation.
Physically, she has a messed up back, but can do basic activities mostly fine. I help pay the bills (half my money goes to her) and I do stuff around the house
 

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