I’m an Alcoholic!

[Totallysteff]

@Totallysteff You could let us know how it’s going? I know for me it helps so much when a person cares about, is interested in what I’m dealing with.

Thank you!

 

[Metalhead]

I would suggest 12-stepping to deal with the alcohol addiction.

But equally important is finding a replacement behavior to fill up the time you will be freeing up by not drinking. Taking on several new hobbies is not a bad idea.

Also, having some candy around will help with the cravings for alcohol the first couple of weeks dry. Alcohol is mostly sugar, so that kinda makes sense.

 

[Totallysteff]

I a

I would suggest 12-stepping to deal with the alcohol addiction.

But equally important is finding a replacement behavior to fill up the time you will be freeing up by not drinking. Taking on several new hobbies is not a bad idea.

Also, having some candy around will help with the cravings for alcohol the first couple of weeks dry. Alcohol is mostly sugar, so that kinda makes sense.

I’m on day 31, and I haven’t missed a meeting. I don’t think I’d make it without AA.

 

[Running Girl]

I used alcohol and drugs to socialize (social anxiety) and it worked until it didnt. I wound up using and all alone and miserable. So now i go to 12 step program. I fit in pretty well there! Still, the social anxiety is a problem, not gonna candy coat it. Ive quit cigarettes (2008), and food/eating disorder (2018), but i still have to be careful of excessive shopping, and gambling. Im still an addict even in recovery. Im still on the autism spectrum. But my lifes a lot more stable now.

 

[Martha Ferris]

That's where I seem to be a bit different. I can speak to people but it's only after a few drinks I start to connect to people and either just have a laugh or end up having deep insightful conversations or even switch between fun and meaningful stuff.



I will admit this is where I am stuck - half of me is thinking to stop drinking, but what to do next? I just never really had any desire to do the "fun" stuff outdoors like you mention. I've faced up to realising I have pretty much been a "basement dweller" messing with my computers pretty much all my adult life unless I go out for drinks. But even when I go out for drinks I'm not very sociable until I've had a few.

I've been out of work for years because of medical problems so part of me thinks I need to go hardcore on rebuilding my skills. But then I will be even more of a "basement dweller" losing what remaining friends I have. But if I try to make efforts to catch up with old friends, I will just be going back to my old habits of getting drunk with them.

I worked at one time in a rehab unit with veterans with addictions. Step one learn about addictions from reliable sources. Understand yours. What are you feeding with your addiction?
Join AA or another program for support. Often people with addictions have to make a complete life change. Do not be with those you associate with your addiction. Change routes to where you want to go if the old route takes you to a place where you will have access to alcohol. Do not buy any alcohol or go to bars. Work on the skills I mentioned in my previous comment. People often use alcohol to deal with social anxiety or to help them be part of a group. Really look at what alcohol does for you, why you use it, and figure out how you can meet those needs in a healthy way. You can't do it on your own. Seriously. You need help from professionals if you want to get alcohol out of your life. Addictions are many faceted and the fix is as well. You will have to look at your whole life and deal with your issues. To really enact a "cure" one has to get to the source of the problem otherwise you are just applying band aid fixes.
Sadly addictions are for life and having the life you want will be made more difficult because of your addiction but you can do it if you want to badly enough. We can do almost anything if we want it badly enough.
How much is your life worth? Is it worth saving? If not why not? At your age are you willing to just throw in the towel and accept the fate alcohol will lead you to? What can't be changed that has sealed your fate with alcohol along for the ride to the bitter end? Step by step, one day at a time. You have choices.

 

[TryingtoLearn]

I actually bit the bullet and called up my local drug and alcohol service.

But when I described my usage pattern even the person was saying it didn't seem to work with their treatment plans - it seems their service was only there for persons who need a drink and cannot stop.

I can stop very easily. We were discussing how it wouldn't really work because I could see them and at the first session decide to stop drinking, complete their treatment plan without problem, then want to go out with drinks for friends again.

So as my username says, I am really trying to learn but still baffled

I think Running Girl and Martha Ferris may be pointing me further towards what I'm trying to really get to the bottom off - is alcohol helping me overcome social anxiety? One of my best mates was diagnosed with suffering that, me and him get on like a house on fire but we only meet up to drink insane amounts.

To come back to Martha, I need a reliable source for me to better understand my behaviours, and this seems to be the best place I have found so far.

 

[Bolletje]

I have had a very turbulent and oftentimes problematic relationship with alcohol too. I used it to help me socialize, but also to reward myself, to celebrate, or when I was in a bad mood. So yeah, many reasons to drink. Added to that, I don’t pace myself well, so I regularly got blackout drunk in the past and had to cancel social engagements or work because of brutal hangovers.

These days I’m better at restraining myself. I generally don’t drink if I have work the next day and if I do drink I generally stop after two drinks. My partner is a more serious alcoholic that has lost a job, almost lost a second one and ruined multiple friendships (and almost our relationship) as a result. Not to mention he was hospitalized for his drinking half a year ago. He’s doing better these days (and has his first addiction counseling session soon) but it’s a daily struggle to not let his very casual attitude towards drinking influence me. We regularly get into arguments because when he gets a drink he offers me alcoholic drinks as a friendly gesture, but I don’t want to drink every day and if I do drink I want to take it easy. I want to drink for the flavor, not for the buzz.