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I'm giving up.

I go through depression bursts in which they often feel like there’s no hope, and it’s just a horrible feeling to have minimal energy and a lot of sadness, anxiety and turmoil. I also self harm as a form of coping or as a means to vent — I have been doing this since I was 11, so it’s a few years now since I started. I know that it’s not a good method to have and I always feel guilty afterwards. It doesn’t solve anything, and just brings another albeit different wave of emotions in the aftermath of the action and the embarrassment of having healing injuries/scars be noticeable or having to hide them with makeup to avoid the judgements. I’m not at a point in which I can give advice or how to solve this because I still do it myself although I’ve started to have professional help again.

I’d recommend that if you’re at this point and you haven’t seen anyone who can professionally help you, do see them because they can help you. If you’re in the UK you could contact the Samaritans. I have contacted them in the past although by email and even just writing the email can be the difference between my feelings over-boiling to the point or trying to calm down vis venting in a safer way. If you’re outside the UK, there are other similar hotlines that you can access if you needed to call someone: in the US with the name Samaritanshope.

I hope that you can get some support.
 
"It is not understood that before life an individual decides to live. A self is not simply the accidental personification of the body’s biological mechanism. Each person born desires to be born. He dies when that desire no longer operates. No epidemic or illness or natural disaster — or stray bullet from a murderer’s gun — will kill a person who does not want to die."

Ed
 
A quote from Jason Nesmith: "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER."

Jason, being a washed up has-been who saw nothing but a miserable hopeless future, resurrected those words and saved the world.

Ok, Jason Nesmith may be a bit fictitious, but those words are not. The attitude of those words are absolute power. "Never give up, Never surrender" is a top tier ticket to success. Giving up is failure by default. It is a simple choice.

Accepting and pushing through the difficulties and hopelessness of life reaps great rewards that cannot be seen before it happens. Just know it is all unreservedly worth the struggles and effort.

Nelson Mandela is not at all fictitious - he is very real. He spent 27 years in prison. I'm sure the future looked very bleak to him. While I don't think he stated those exact words, but he indeed lived by, "Never give up, Never surrender". The result of that resolve? ... He became president of the nation that imprisoned him.
 
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