As a person who has been officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, I feel like I have lived a life of 80 years even though I am still very young. I have never fit in with society, I have always been indifferent to the things they can't get enough of doing. I am 18 years old but I have always been different from my peers. I have been labeled as extremely lazy all my life and I have never been sure if it is really laziness or something else in the background that looks like laziness. I never liked school, thank God I'm finishing school this year. I'm someone who has anxiety about the future, I see and know that I don't have what my peers, even younger ones, have and can do. That scares me. I have always seen myself as one in a million, with a very rare neurological disorder or difference. I am not sure if the diagnosis of Asperger's is enough to explain my characteristics. There is a code that needs to be cracked and I would be very grateful if you, my dear friends, could help me with this.
First of all, welcome.
1. You're amongst friends here. So, please feel free to share your thoughts.
2. You're 18, and I know you're probably sick and tired of people telling you that you're still a kid and things will be different when you're older. However, despite that, I am pushing 60 and I am still learning about myself, my cognitive biases are changing, and I am always learning. That said, looking back, even to my 40's, and especially my 20's, all I could say was that I knew what I knew back then and a lot has changed. I didn't know what I didn't know.
3. Understand that the great majority of your difficulties in life will be in the form of some sort of sensory, psychological, and psychiatric issues. However, also understand that all of this is because autism is a prenatal, genetic, medical condition with associated anatomical, physiological, and immunological characteristics. The sensory, psychological and psychological components are secondary and tertiary. Knowing what I do know, in my opinion, autism should be diagnosed via a geneticist and neurologist (the primary causes), not a psychologist or psychiatrist (signs and symptoms).
4. The "self-pity parties" that some of us tend to give ourselves is often driven by depression. Autism is one of the known low dopamine neurological conditions. There are at least 3 different genetic mutations within the autism population that have to do with dopamine turnover in the brain. Your feelings are very real, but do understand this is mostly due to brain chemistry. Many people experience similar situations and never have PTSD, trauma, or dive into depressive moods with crappy outlooks on life,...this is us, not them. Most people are not that sensitive and things just roll with whatever happens, therefore are not going to participate in empathetic interactions with you, because they can't relate.
5. We all have special interests and talents. Some not that marketable within the workplace, and other times, highly valued. Most of us are not well-suited for the typical classroom situation as students, however, we can be excellent lecturers standing up in front of a crowd of people. I have been continually studying on my own, and you can do that now with the internet, it's just that sometimes what you learn is not rewarded with a professional degree, even though you might have doctorate-level knowledge on a specific topic. I am a university instructor (part-time) and work at a large children's hospital (full-time), but much of what I do aligns with my special interests. I am really good at what I do. At any rate, there are plenty of well-paying jobs out there in the trades and most of these are fully or partially paid through government programs and even the companies, themselves. I highly recommend that for those that hate the classroom experience.
Well, I can go on and on here.
Take care.
I never understood it because I always tried so hard. I muddled through constantly feeling like I would never succeed academically. When I look back, I think that if I hadn't been told so many negative things, I probably wouldn't have exhausted myself trying to make up for a deficit that wasn't really there. Ironically, I'd probably have achieved higher grades.
