I'm not ready to be a teenager yet. Why do I feel like this?

[Horsegirl]

I'm just not ready.
It's way too confusing navigating the waters of my crazy high school. I'm being bullied really badly at the moment. I hate bullies! I am sick of boys hitting on me.
Like a couple days ago, a boy came over to me and said "something highly inappropriate" (edited by staff for content)
Ew!
And he just randomly put his arm around my shoulders. I shoved him off.
The fashionable items of clothing just aren't comfortable. I hate jeans. And I never wear hoodies, I much prefer cardigans. Or zip up sweaters. But that's not with the current trends!
I am sick of being like everybody else. But if I don't conform to social norms, the bullying gets worse!
This world is too confusing. I'm going to make a terrible adult if I can't handle this.

 

[FreeDiver]

Join the club! I think a lot of us here were never ready(or wanted) to be teenagers.

 

[Horsegirl]

Join the club! I think a lot of us here were never ready(or wanted) to be teenagers.

Oh good, I'm not the only one then

 

[Progster]

Yeah. It sucks. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, though I think that schools are a lot worse now than they used to be when I was at school. Hang on in there, it won't be forever. Try to concentrate on getting good grades, because that will open more possibilities when you do eventually leave school.

 

[Isadoorian]

I'll say one thing; coming from a guy myself, Teen guys are idiots. They're at the point of their lives where they think trying to score (be it drugs, alcohol, girls) is cool. But in reality they're just being idiots who think they're on top of the world.

I had one kid in my High School grad class be expelled because he had a thing of Pot (Marijuana) stashed in his locker in Grade 11 or 12, and he was the "gangster" wanna be type as well, you're likely to encounter those kinda idiots as well.

Try and stick with other people who are also into the same hobbies and interests as yourself, your username's Horsegirl so I'm assuming there's likely other people to be into Equestrian things, even if they have yet to discover it; hang out in the library at lunch or if your High School has After School Clubs that cater to your interests, join those too.

Try and go out of your comfort zone, that'll help as well. If you're not into nerdy things but are interested into dabbling in it and there's a Magic the Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons club (they're slowly gaining traction as a HS Club thing), go to the Organizer and ask about it, see if you can attend to see how you might like it

 

[Horsegirl]

Yeah. It sucks. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, though I think that schools are a lot worse now than they used to be when I was at school. Hang on in there, it won't be forever. Try to concentrate on getting good grades, because that will open more possibilities when you do eventually leave school.

You are right, it does suck. I am getting good grades at the moment (not that it's all that easy to tell all you get is applyings and developings instead of a's and b's) so theres one thing I'm doing properly. Thank goodness

 

[Horsegirl]

I'll say one thing; coming from a guy myself, Teen guys are idiots. They're at the point of their lives where they think trying to score (be it drugs, alcohol, girls) is cool. But in reality they're just being idiots who think they're on top of the world.

I had one kid in my High School grad class be expelled because he had a thing of Pot (Marijuana) stashed in his locker in Grade 11 or 12, and he was the "gangster" wanna be type as well, you're likely to encounter those kinda idiots as well.

Try and stick with other people who are also into the same hobbies and interests as yourself, your username's Horsegirl so I'm assuming there's likely other people to be into Equestrian things, even if they have yet to discover it; hang out in the library at lunch or if your High School has After School Clubs that cater to your interests, join those too.

Try and go out of your comfort zone, that'll help as well. If you're not into nerdy things but are interested into dabbling in it and there's a Magic the Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons club (they're slowly gaining traction as a HS Club thing), go to the Organizer and ask about it, see if you can attend to see how you might like it

Pot in locker!?!?! Oh my gawd, that's insane.
And yes, you guessed right, I love all things equestrian. I don't really know anyone else who does though.
What do you mean by going out of my comfort zone? If you mean trying new stuff, meeting new people, done that. Not with much success. But at least I tried.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

Forcing the neurodiverse attend schools that are made for the neurotypical 98% is a failure to provide a suitable education which I hope is soon going to be a thing of the past. I can't offer much more than sympathy though, I'm afraid. I never did find away to deal with the idiots or the peer pressure.

I'm easily angered by the subject of sexual harassment and this really does need to become a thing of the past. Sexual harassment at school is at least as inappropriate as it is at work.
I have experienced many (other) kinds of bullying myself and often remember/ relive these experiences thinking "I wish I had a bodycam" so I could show authorities just how inappropriate some people's behaviour is and force them to actually take it seriously and deal with it.

I find jeans impossibly uncomfortable too. >_< Hoodies without a full zip feel like a straight jacket to me, in fact any warm tops without a zip are just impractical and make no sense.

 

[Horsegirl]

Forcing the neurodiverse attend schools that are made for the neurotypical 98% is a failure to provide a suitable education which I hope is soon going to be a thing of the past. I can't offer much more than sympathy though, I'm afraid. I never did find away to deal with the idiots or the peer pressure.

I'm easily angered by the subject of sexual harassment and this really does need to become a thing of the past. Sexual harassment at school is at least as inappropriate as it is at work.
I have experienced many (other) kinds of bullying myself and often remember/ relive these experiences thinking "I wish I had a bodycam" so I could show authorities just how inappropriate some people's behaviour is and force them to actually take it seriously and deal with it.

I find jeans impossibly uncomfortable too. >_< Hoodies without a full zip feel like a straight jacket to me, in fact any warm tops without a zip are just impractical and make no sense.

Yeah, people suck.
I have it EXTRA SPECIAL in school though. Somebody who obviously wants to destroy my reputation has somehow found out I'm autistic. And they are posting notes about it everywhere. Not fun.

 

[Kyou Nukui]

Yeah, people suck.
I have it EXTRA SPECIAL in school though. Somebody who obviously wants to destroy my reputation has somehow found out I'm autistic. And they are posting notes about it everywhere. Not fun.

That's upsetting to hear.. and angers me. Well that's also very bold of them, but are their notes in the person(idiot)'s own handwriting? Could be that their boldness is their undoing, if you can collect evidence that is impossible to ignore or deny. I'm over empathising so I'm pretty pi**ed off now. I really want this to stop.

 

[Horsegirl]

That's upsetting to hear.. and angers me. Well that's also very bold of them, but are their notes in the person(idiot)'s own handwriting? Could be that their boldness is their undoing, if you can collect evidence that is impossible to ignore or deny. I'm over empathising so I'm pretty pi**ed off now. I really want this to stop.

I have (with the help of the school) already figured out who this is. But it only went downhill from there, now it's worse. This girl is telling everyone. And the other day when I was at my bestfriend's house, this girl texted my bestfriend and told her to ditch me. She said no. But still. And this school wants me to talk to her and "resolve" everything. It's just one big downhill spiral

 

[Isadoorian]

Pot in locker!?!?! Oh my gawd, that's insane.
And yes, you guessed right, I love all things equestrian. I don't really know anyone else who does though.
What do you mean by going out of my comfort zone? If you mean trying new stuff, meeting new people, done that. Not with much success. But at least I tried.

Yeah; he was able to graduate still with going to an Alternative School of sorts.

Yeah I meant trying new things and meeting new people, but all that matters is you put in the effort, and if you keep trying, I assure you, you will be successful with it in the future

You just need to be persistent with it, that's all; when I first started playing Magic the Gathering I knew some people already, and the first little while I would fumble around with the steps of the game and rules etc. but I got the hang of it fairly quick

Same with when I was playing Dungeons and Dragons for the first time, I asked the guy who ran the sessions if I could watch so get a feel for it and he said absolutely, and the next time he and his group were doing a new Campaign I was able to play, and the more experienced people in the group, DM included, helped me when I needed it as well (like which Dice were used for what actions and where to put what on my Character sheet, they were fairly nice people and I thought they'd be impatient with me since I was new but that wasn't the case in the end)

 

[Kyou Nukui]

I have (with the help of the school) already figured out who this is. But it only went downhill from there, now it's worse. This girl is telling everyone. And the other day when I was at my bestfriend's house, this girl texted my bestfriend and told her to ditch me. She said no. But still. And this school wants me to talk to her and "resolve" everything. It's just one big downhill spiral

Idk how you can "resolve" her resenting your being in the Top 2% of free thinkers. >_>
Sounds like the school is passing the bucking, expecting you to do their job for them.

 

[Isadoorian]

I have (with the help of the school) already figured out who this is. But it only went downhill from there, now it's worse. This girl is telling everyone. And the other day when I was at my bestfriend's house, this girl texted my bestfriend and told her to ditch me. She said no. But still. And this school wants me to talk to her and "resolve" everything. It's just one big downhill spiral

Yeah, a lot of the time Schools and their "No Tolerance" stuff is just garbage.

I know one day in High school my friend was in the foyer talking to his mom and another kid came and punched him, and the Principal suspended my friend rather than the kid who provoked him. (Though my friend had a bit of a habit of getting himself into trouble though for the most part he's an idiot, a lovable idiot , and not having a proper father figure in his life didn't really help either)

 

[Graphin]

It seems to me more like you're not ready for other teenagers or conforming to stereotypes or social norms.
Sorry you'll have to live through this

On a related note, puberty hit hard and I hate it
I was touched inappropriately too... ofc...

If you feel like time is wasted during lessons which I think you do, you can for example try secretly studying geography during - geography (caution, even if the entire class is doing nothing or talking, teachers will still likely punish you for doing something out of the ordinary like that)

 

[SusanLR]

I never cared what others thought or worried about being in style so it just didn't bother me.
I home schooled High School and never really had friends.
Looking back I don't feel I missed anything important by not going to the prom or parties and belonging
to groups of peers.
Guess I was just apathetic and lived how I wanted. Always have, still do.
When you just don't care if you fit in with the world, then it doesn't bother you.

Billy Joel pretty much hits that type of attitude with the song It's Still Rock n' Roll to ME.

 

[Dillon]

I'm just not ready.
It's way too confusing navigating the waters of my crazy high school. I'm being bullied really badly at the moment. I hate bullies! I am sick of boys hitting on me.
Like a couple days ago, a boy came over to me and said "something highly inappropriate" (edited by staff for content)
Ew!
And he just randomly put his arm around my shoulders. I shoved him off.
The fashionable items of clothing just aren't comfortable. I hate jeans. And I never wear hoodies, I much prefer cardigans. Or zip up sweaters. But that's not with the current trends!
I am sick of being like everybody else. But if I don't conform to social norms, the bullying gets worse!
This world is too confusing. I'm going to make a terrible adult if I can't handle this.

Men actually suck and I’m a guy obviously lol. It seems like the guys who are jerks get dates and establish relationships while I never had a girlfriend or a date but meh I’m fine with that.
I didn’t really follow social norms cause realizing now being like everyone else kind of sucks like it gets boring to me. You are going to find many people in your life who will appreciate you and not for how you act and who do not go by the same norms as you do.

 

[Fino]

I didn't read every comment so maybe someone already said this, but I don't think doing bad in high-school, socially or academically, means you'll make for a terrible adult.

 

[Xerces Blue]

Something to Remember about school - everyone there is learning social rules, expect problems and these problems usually continue well past high school - Try to forgive them eventually.
These problems can help you grow more thick skinned.

when they're crass shut them down hard.
let 'em down easy when they're polite.

I learned a lot playing D&D - Cause and effect, rational planning but I played with a group that was older than me.

Find people you enjoy and stick with them.
My best friend came from high school we've been through a lot of tough, hurtful things but my life is richer for it.

Don't think of yourself as a victim - stuff happens, but that doesn't mean you can't get past it with time.
Even emotional scars fade with time.

Ready or not here it comes try to make the best of it - that's all anyone can do.

 

[Mary Terry]

I didn't want to be a teenager either. My mother abruptly took away my Barbie dolls when I was your age, claiming I was too old to play with dolls anymore, but refused to let me shave my legs or wear any makeup because I was too young. In other words, I was in limbo land at that age.

Stay strong at school. Don't let the jerks run your life. The girl who posted notes about your autism should be punished, in my opinion. How would the school have reacted if she had posted notes about other students' confidential medical diagnoses? Seems like there's a double standard there.

The proposal that the girl and you work it out between you is ludicrous. That girl needs to spend some time in the principal's office and in after school detention inconvenient to her and her parents so her family will be aware of what she has done. But you can't force the school to deal more harshly with her so please try to ignore her. She is a pathetic loser who derives sick pleasure from hurting others.