I'm Really, Really Sorry

[Riley]

I honestly can't stand what I am. I hate myself. I even resent every one of you, because in my eyes, you're also monsters.

This website is a politically correct joke. We don't need comfort and acceptance. We need to be normal. I want to be normal. I want to be part of those who aren't associated with freaks of nature like Chris-chan.

I'm going to change myself. I'm going to stop flapping my hands and twiddling my fingers. I'm going to tell myself that I don't have Aspergers. I'll pretend I have the better mental disorders: OCD and Anxiety.

You all think a cure for Autism would be bad. But as long as it isn't in vaccine form, I'll take it.

 

[Mathalamus]

Riley, i have been trying to do the same thing. its extremely difficult, and may require years of work. but, if you want to do it, you can.

not everyone wanted to be aspie, or off normal. it wasn't their choice, after all. i completely understand.

 

[Riley]

Thanks, Matt. I was reading this and, even though it's a parody site...Yeah...:

Please be advised that the site linked here is a parody site
with humor that may disturb some reader due to offensive content.
Enter it at your own risk.
Asperger's Syndrome - Encyclopedia Dramatica

 

[Mathalamus]

that, uh.... is not true. most aspies are rather reasonable folk, like me. or better.

 

[Riley]

Mom always said my sense of humor was lacking...Guess she was right. Heh.

You know that one video game? Mortal Kombat? There are these two characters: Princess Kitana and Mileena. I compare my brother and myself to them.

 

[tree]

Encyclopedia Dramatica presents a trollish point of view
for the sake of "humor." So what?

 

[Mathalamus]

Riley, all you really need to do, is to act like an NT in public. basically, any aspie stuff you do, don't do it, in real life, and, its perfectly fine to be introverted, as its not an aspie thing. i act like a (very quiet) NT in real life, and i do it fairly well.

 

[clg114]

I am normal, my normal. It beats the hell out of most peoples normal.

 

[Riley]

I am normal, my normal. It beats the hell out of most peoples normal.

I like this.

 

[Amy Susan Rose]

I am normal, my normal. It beats the hell out of most peoples normal.

Wow; profound! I'm going to remember this

 

[Amy Susan Rose]

Thanks, Matt. I was reading this and, even though it's a parody site...Yeah...:
Asperger's Syndrome - Encyclopedia Dramatica

In reference to that "parody" site, I do not find it remotely humorous.....My life has been difficult and I have worked very hard to perform as normal while out in public. I am content with who I am and certainly am not a psychopath or have a mental illness, two words describing those with "Assburgers" that popped out at me in the first few paragraphs. I don't know what else this supposedly satirical site had to offer for I stopped reading. Synonyms for parody: distortion, travesty, misrepresentation, perversion and debasement. Apt words for that site.

 

[Full Steam]

As soon as you start worrying about standards and concepts like normality you've taken them too seriously.

None of them can be said to actually exist at all, and normality cannot even be applied to humanity with any accuracy, only individual, micro-characteristics.

Any concept that's ever been applied to you is wrong.

Just be who you need to be right now, nothing else matters.

 

[pjcnet]

What is being "normal" anyway? Being normal is usually classed as being like the vast majority of people, but if most people were aspie that would then be considered normal and NTs would be the different ones.

I don't recommend you try too hard to be someone you're not, it's okay to improve, but don't pretend you're an NT if you're not and be proud of who you are, being an aspie is NOT necessarily a bad thing, it's just different and there are both advantages and disadvantages (one advantage is usually above average intelligence for instance). Also don't listen to extremely negative criticisms from what are usually immature or unpleasant people that often look for people to criticise because they feel inadequate in themselves and/or have a chip on their shoulder, unfortunately there's always going to be a minority of very negative people in this world. Your most important first step however is to start liking yourself more, you are most definitely NOT a bad person just because you're an aspie and don't let anyone convince you different.

 

[Ambi]

I honestly can't stand what I am. I hate myself. I even resent every one of you, because in my eyes, you're also monsters.

This website is a politically correct joke. We don't need comfort and acceptance. We need to be normal. I want to be normal. I want to be part of those who aren't associated with freaks of nature like Chris-chan.

I'm going to change myself. I'm going to stop flapping my hands and twiddling my fingers. I'm going to tell myself that I don't have Aspergers. I'll pretend I have the better mental disorders: OCD and Anxiety.

You all think a cure for Autism would be bad. But as long as it isn't in vaccine form, I'll take it.

I think everyone needs to decide for themselves what they believe and want to do. For myself, I have found my life is much easier to live/navigate the more I learn to live among NTs and in an NT world as a pseudo-NT....BUT.....when I pushed myself to do that without realizing my own differences as an Aspie, I ended up severely burning out and with all kinds insecurities and anxieties. Now with the knowledge of my unique Aspie needs and what limitations/modifications I may need to make, I feel I have a better chance at successfully navigating the NT world. I try not to allow my Aspie side to show when among NTs....but I also know that I need release when I am alone. Finding that balance will be key. NTs do a similar thing - they often conform socially depending on where they are, and they also can feel very stressed about that....but it's not due to such an extreme difference in processing the world.

Lastly - I have no idea who "Chris-chan" is, and I don't care. I think it's completely ludicrous that you would come on here and lump all of us together as having one opinion. If you have a tendency towards this kind of all or nothing thinking towards us, others, or yourself, then of course you're going to be miserable. You'd be miserable as an NT as well. Just saying.

 

[Judge]

At some point Riley will have to make the decision to try to mask herself in as much as she can to appear NT enough not to be picked on or singled out in any way. When that day comes, she'll quickly find out that it's emotionally and mentally exhausting. It's your body telling you that the "normal" you crave can be toxic.

Repeat the process as much as I have over the years and you'll quickly learn this.

You want to be "normal"? Knock yourself out, kid. And that may be exactly what you do. Feeling exhausted and unfulfilled, and jubilant at the prospect of when you go home and can be yourself again. At your age you just haven't had to get to this point yet. But you will. It's inevitable. And you'll look back on this asking yourself, "What was I thinking ?"

I can't think of a better way for you to learn just how overrated "normal" is than to simply try to act the part just to get by. Something many of us do because we have to- not because we want to. And the comfort and relief you'll eventually feel having gone through that, and how good it feels to be the "you" who you actually are rather than someone you aren't.

 

[Riley]

I imagined becoming normal/a cure for autism would be like the scenes from Tears Of a Dragon (Book 4 of Dragons In Our Midst) and The Bones Of Makaidos (Book 4 of Oracles Of Fire). Where the dragons and the half-dragon characters got the option to either stay the way they are and keep their dragon qualities, or become human. Then again, the series following them both had the government wage war against dragons...

At some point Riley will have to make the decision to try to mask herself in as much as she can to appear NT enough not to be picked on or singled out in any way. When that day comes, she'll quickly find out that it's emotionally and mentally exhausting. It's your body telling you that the "normal" you crave can be toxic.

Repeat the process as much as I have over the years and you'll quickly learn this.

You want to be "normal"? Knock yourself out, kid. And that may be exactly what you do. Feeling exhausted and unfulfilled, and jubilant at the prospect of when you go home and can be yourself again. At your age you just haven't had to get to this point yet. But you will. It's inevitable. And you'll look back on this asking yourself, "What was I thinking ?"

I can't think of a better way for you to learn just how overrated "normal" is than to simply try to act the part just to get by. Something many of us do because we have to- not because we want to. And the comfort and relief you'll eventually feel having gone through that, and how good it feels to be the "you" who you actually are rather than someone you aren't.

This is why I like you, Judge.

At this point in my life, I do not need to be normal. It may have been my Aspergers that earned me my renowned charisma, after all. But I feel like I shouldn't act the way "bad" Aspies do. I already get flak from my brother and 9-year old niece for certain habits. Although my brother is slightly more justified.

I want to be on whatever the "right" side is.

 

[Ambi]

I imagined becoming normal/a cure for autism would be like the scenes from Tears Of a Dragon (Book 4 of Dragons In Our Midst) and The Bones Of Makaidos (Book 4 of Oracles Of Fire). Where the dragons and the half-dragon characters got the option to either stay the way they are and keep their dragon qualities, or become human. Then again, the series following them both had the government wage war against dragons...



This is why I like you, Judge.

At this point in my life, I do not need to be normal. It may have been my Aspergers that earned me my renowned charisma, after all. But I feel like I shouldn't act the way "bad" Aspies do. I already get flak from my brother and 9-year old niece for certain habits. Although my brother is slightly more justified.

I want to be on whatever the "right" side is.

Well, can you "be on whatever the 'right' side is" without insulting all of us as monsters and calling this amazing forum a politically correct joke? Because part of being on the "right side" is not being totally insensitive and obnoxious like that.

 

[Amy Susan Rose]

I'll pretend I have the better mental disorders: OCD and Anxiety.

Aspergers is not a mental disorder. Riley, perhaps you should peruse other websites to educate yourself regarding your diagnosis.

I am over 50; probably sounds ancient to a lot of you. However with age does come a bit of wisdom and if not wisdom then plenty of time spent reflecting on one's life. I posted this in another thread today but felt it pertinent to Riley's initial post:
I have grown into a strong Aspie woman who enjoys my interests and my ability to not have to rely on others to entertain me or be constantly by my side. I have learned much regarding life through books, nature, self- education, and observing NT's (one of my favorite hobbies). After decades I have come to an honest soul-searching revelation: I love who I am, I love the journey that made me into the person I am today. And I can honestly say that perhaps it was good that the diagnosis was not known at the time of my childhood/adolescence for I learned much by not having anyone treat me as if I had a disability.

I don't look at high functioning autism/Aspergers as a disability but rather a gift which allows me to know myself along with my interests inside and out. I love my solitude and fortunately have been able to establish relationships as an adult although I spend most days alone for I prefer my loner self. For some reason which totally eludes me, too many NT's just can't wrap their minds around a content Aspie. Sometimes I think they envy us for we are so adept at self-sufficiency.

Most of you on the forum have probably come across articles pertaining to famous people who may have been on the spectrum; Albert Einstein, Lewis Carroll, Charles Darwin, Mozart, and Michelangelo, just to name a few. Also there is speculation regarding contemporary famous people such as Bob Dylan, Steve Jobs, and Tim Robbins (again to name just a few). We are all a wonderful, creative, strong force in society; writers, artists, philosophers, mathematicians, scientists, and so much more. Each and every one of us is unique and possess gifts that we may be aware of or just have not tapped into yet.

One doesn't have to be famous in order to find peace and contentment on the Spectrum. Watching a brilliant sunset or viewing the breathtaking autumn colors is a gift that no NT can grasp; not that they don't enjoy the same sights, however, they lack our heightened sensitivities along with our proclivity to really examine, enjoy, and know something, whether abstract or concrete, thanks to our "disability."

Riley, we are not monsters

 

[Keigan]

I don’t get this thread, or the link to the website....

Though I have met the person in the wheelchair, his name is Jason, he is significantly physically challenged which impacts his ability to get around and to speak, he is aspie, he is also brilliant - his physical challenges make it hard for him to express himself, but he certain has a lot to offer, it just takes time to get it out.

Anyone can meet Jason, he is a regular attendee of the “square pegs” support group for Aspergers in Seattle. He attends the group when his caregiver can drive him to the meeting. If you can attend and Jason is there, I guarantee he’ll introduce himself to you before you can cross the room, and he’ll remember your name and background if you ever attend again.

So yes i’m offended by the name and inference of the picture of Jason.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I have a simple suggestion that will solve most, if not all, of your problems, Riley: try dialing down the drama about 7 or 8 notches. If you want respect, then learn how to respect others.