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I'M SO DONE!!!!

No I'm not being passive aggressive. I truly do appreciate honesty.
I think I have other ways of having other people start to care. I don't know what those are yet, but I'll figure it out eventually.
The thing is I don't even know these people and they are a couple grades older than me so I can't really do much.
 
If someone lays hands on you, you fight back! Kick them back, push them back, bite them, punch them, do what you can to get them off of you and then run to a teacher or any other staff member to tell them that the person is bullying you.
 
Gritches said:
I wasn't aware of the other thread, but let me comment on this one. WARNING: this is going to sound mean, but I'm trying to help you where others refuse to do so because they're nice.

You're 13. I would be absolutely shocked if you possessed a problem that could not be solved by someone higher up in the power structure.

Now here's something I wish someone had taught me at that age: if you feel like there isn't a single adult in the entire world who gives a damn about your problems, you're right. Adults don't give a flying crap about teenager's social issues. But what to do?

This isn't just the case for teenagers, it seems to just be a fact of life. The sad fact is, you need to make them care. They don't care if you're upset. They don't care how you feel. Telling them that will accomplish nothing.

Because see, when it comes to your emotional well-being, nobody with the power to do something about has a dog in that race. They do not benefit for the great deal of effort it would take to live up to their promises of a safe learning environment.

No, you need to give them a reason to care. A reason that affects them. You seem intelligent, are you getting good grades? Stop that. Tank your grades. 13 is what...8th or 9th grade? Unless you're planning to go to Harvard it's really not going to matter if your A's turn into D's all of a sudden. But the adults will start asking questions about why your grades have dropped (especially the tests, do poorly on the tests), and that's when you can blame your academic struggles on the bullying.

I say the tests especially because unless it's changed since I was a kid a school's funding depends on getting high test scores. The average standardized test score goes down, the school loses some funding, and *bam* there's their dog in the fight. There's their reason to care.

But I'm really sorry this is all happening to you.
Click to expand...
Well, another way to put one of their dog's in the race is to hint or suggest going to the news or a lawyer - the mention of a lawyer usually turns their interest real quick. It works at work, too.
 
At this age other children can simply be outright predatory. Where the only thing they will respond to is equal or more force. In essence, you MUST physically defend yourself or risk further and routine persecution.

Sad to say that it's just that simple. It won't endear them towards you, but it may eventually be sufficient for them to begin to leave you alone.

And yes, I still grieve for that little gentle boy I once was that my mother so adored. RIP little guy.

It changed me, but at least I was no longer a perpetual victim of bullies.
 
Why do they do this? Because you have been identified as a weakling that doesn't belong. Evolutionary programming tells us to weed out the weak that don't belong, and that is what they are doing to you.

Assuming you even want to solve this...
What kind of kids are they? Boys or girls? Upperclass white kids? Low IQ trash?

If they are upperclass girls then fighting is a possible option, as socially speaking you aren't going anywhere with them. But I mean real fighting. Those girls scratch and pull hair or throw maybe a girly punch, but if you properly smash one in the face with a bare knuckle they are never going to bother you again. You will be an outcast, but people don't mess with someone that can rearrange their facial structure. This of course, means learning how to throw a correct punch and actually having the will and fearlessness to truly harm someone. Whenever you harm someone you have to expect harm back, so you can't be afraid of being hit in the face yourself either.

If they are boys... then it's a tossup. At 13-14 they aren't going to be too far ahead physically, but any boy that gets his ass kicked by a girl is going to be a loser forever at that school. You probably don't want to make such an enemy.

Don't mess with low IQ trash. They will kill you over petty crap like this. In this case, switch schools. What are you doing at a school for trash anyway? Maybe it's close, but travel a little further.

The other option you have is not going back to school and getting the police or whatever administration is responsible for enforcing the legal requirement of forced brai... I mean education involved. Once you do this you can't go back, and adults will attempt to intimidate you through any means necessary, but as a kid you have a lot of power since they can't really throw you in jail for not going to school. Once you realize this it's a lot easier to get what you want.

You don't need to dump your grades. Just drop by school at a time when the bullies can't touch you (when class is in session) deliver the work you've done, pick up the new work you need to do and just go home. They might attempt to force you to stay, but simply explain to them that you can't due to bullying and that you would like to continue like this. If they attempt to make you stay physically then just call the police and explain to them that the school is complicit in the bullying. If you do all this while calm and without freaking out, you will be the scariest damn thing an adult can ever face. If you freak out or don't remain calm, this can end very badly. Forcing an adult to do something is easy, forcing a kid to do something (legally) is damn near impossible. I've done this. At one point I just said "No, I am not going and nothing you can do is going to make me stay". I have no clue why, but nobody tried to stop me. They tried to pressure me (in a hamfisted attempt) but it seems like everyone was pretty happy about it in the end (My problem was with school administration and teachers, though, rather than other students). After that I was like "Damnit! Why didn't I figure this out in kindergarten?!".

If you want to be a vet you unfortunately need to continue working with the school. Just remember that you can be either successful or a vet, not both. I'd just drop out of school and do something productive, like learn social skills. Or perhaps programming or something. Going to university for a second-rate degree is setting yourself up for a terrible life of debt and slavery.
 
Sorry
I am actually curious how you could enjoy highschool before.
How to improve your situation? idk, i barely know anything about your situation...

I even managed to get bullied in kindergarden
 
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Unfortunately bullying is part of life. All the proactive advice given, while well-meaning, is likely not what you're talking about here.

You're probably talking about stopping their desire to bully you and not having it stop through the force of authority or threats. The psychological aspect of bullying is often reduced to the avoidance of the bully and ignores the deeper dynamics of the syndrome.

I don't know your situation well, so I am speaking in general terms here. Generally the bullies are not random people to the victim. They are peers and often peers the victim was hoping to be accepted by. The cycle is motivated by social status. Being protected by police or teachers will not in any way increase one's social status. It could lead to not being pushed into lockers but as you seem keenly aware, it could ramp up the psychological side of the torment.

There is no easy answer to such a thing. If there were so many of us would not have endured it to the point that the harder moments have been blocked out by most.
 
Horsegirl said:
I just mean I have no idea how to access a school counsellors email, even if I did I'd be too scared.
And this would involve telling people. Which I have yet to do
Click to expand...

It's probably online.

And it's not like I'm suggesting to do this exact thing, I was just giving an example of a young person doing something to change their situation. I'm getting the impression that you're not willing to do anything about it and maybe you just wanted to vent, which is perfectly fine.

And I don't think anyone here thinks your problems are small or insignificant. Bullying is assault, which is a crime. It is very serious.
 
You should go to any of the proper authorities to stop this harassment. The person pushing or tripping you needs to know that you will not allow this to continue. One warning only - don't let it turn into a game. Bullies rely on victims being too intimidated to say or do anything about the abuse.
 
Horsegirl said:
Please don't say that, that would be a really big overreaction and I'm not doing that.
But I appreciate the thought.

I mean the person who suggested I notify police
Click to expand...

It's not an overreaction, to be honest.

Physical violence is nothing to sneeze at. Bullies of that type could *seriously* hurt someone. I mean the type of injury that could screw someone over for life. Think about what that means.

One way or another, in my experience, the proper way to handle this is to get those with authority to deal with the situation... because that's literally their job.

I got bullied CONSTANTLY back in highschool. But I found a way to stop it: By taking control. The right words to the right faculty members ended up giving me control over most situations, because no matter what some stupid bully tried, I could get faculty to step in. Or some other methods as well. Eventually, the bullies kept out of my way. One way or another, again, it's literally the job of the faculty to handle stuff like that, and sometimes a bit of a "reminder" can go a long way. If they cant keep the peace in their school, it can... go bad for them.

If you try that and it just plain doesnt work? Cant get the fools to listen and do their job? Going to the police isnt a bad move. Again, it's not overreacting. Those bullies, again, could seriously injure someone. They wouldnt necessarily do it on purpose. But that type of person doesnt THINK about their actions. They dont think about the possibility that someone could end up with a broken neck because of their stupid antics. One way or another... it *has* to stop. Period. Getting the attention of a proper authority figure is the proper way to deal with dangerous situations.

But it's not going to stop unless someone takes some sort of action, as those things usually wont happen on their own.
 
And in case you were hoping it would just suddenly stop on its own, I had that same hope and it never worked. For six years.
 
I was home schooled through highschool, but, I endured middle school, (grades 7-8), with a lot of
bullying from school mate peers.
It seemed the main reason was due to my looks and intellect.
Girls and guys constantly made fun of me because I was already grown in stature at age 13. 5' 10".
But, I was also in that ugly stage of braces, glasses, acne...you get the picture.
Add to that my grades were never lower than a B+ and tested out two years ahead of my class.
This called for insults from the "pretty cheerleader type girls" and the boys that thought they were
hot stud muffins already.
These insults hurt, but, not because I wanted to fit in with those peer groups, because I didn't care.
It hurt my self esteem at that age, so it was psychological bullying.

There were a few girls who approached me and wanted to physically fight. Being much larger in
stature, I found if I just looked calmly at them and stood tall, they backed down when I said:
"Do you really want to fight me?"
Even the boys were like half pints at that age and backed off.

Ignoring the insults, yet don't act like it is hurting you, took care of that part.
A hard look and a cold shoulder.
The physical part is a legal crime if they touch you for harm.
I stood my ground and only had to physically grab a boy once for stealing my purse and running with it.
A push against a wall with a big ring against his nose made him drop the purse!
I didn't hurt him, but it scared the willies out of him.

If you can't take it psychologically with a no care attitude or aren't of a size to push back
if assaulted, then I agree with the try to get school officials to help or the police.
Unfortunately, it seems this is something we'll put up with the rest of our lives....
so might as well start training for it now.
 
Please don’t give up,I know how bad bullies are but don’t let them destroy you mentally,they are not worth it and you are better than they are,I have C-PTSD due to bullying and other abuse but I regret letting my bullies make me believe that I am worthless,you are not worthless and I hope you can find help for this.
 
i was bullied and pestered a lot in school, if you were a guy, i would suggest joining the swim team, once i started bulking up people left me alone, being 6ft6 helped too of course
 
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I was bullied verbally, and attacked once or twice physically at school, but I fought back, and was generally left alone after that... but it's not so easy when there are a group of them, that is expremely intimidating.

Another thing that helps is to have an ally - a friend who can come with you to the lockers - or failing that, stick near a group of students who you know aren't likely to be hostile and who are likely to report any bullying going on, don't go to the lockers alone. And talk to a member of staff about it, whoever is in charge of 'pastoral care' at your school.
 
Gritches said:
Now here's something I wish someone had taught me at that age: if you feel like there isn't a single adult in the entire world who gives a damn about your problems, you're right. Adults don't give a flying crap about teenager's social issues. But what to do?

This isn't just the case for teenagers, it seems to just be a fact of life. The sad fact is, you need to make them care. They don't care if you're upset. They don't care how you feel. Telling them that will accomplish nothing.

Because see, when it comes to your emotional well-being, nobody with the power to do something about has a dog in that race. They do not benefit for the great deal of effort it would take to live up to their promises of a safe learning environment.

No, you need to give them a reason to care. A reason that affects them.
Click to expand...

You know what, that is a truely excellent piece of advice.

I avoided bullies by being excruciatingly boring. I didn't react to the point where they accused me of being dead inside. They quickly moved on to someone who did take their cruelty personally, so it never got too bad.

However, now that it is bad, not reacting is unlikely to work because they have what they want and they will know you are faking.

So you have to find your brave and think of a way to solve the problem. The above advice is brilliant, play the system, make them care, play a role that they understand. I do it all the time at work. I have what I call a "Penelope Pitstop" routine that male NTs respond well to. It's not lying, it's playing to THEIR truths. MAKE the adults care, make them want to help you. You can choose to stop making excuses and being the victim at any time.

Additionally, who is the bully? What are their motivations? Are you their only victim? Are they from a broken home or are they just broken?
 
I had a strange guy (who was singing very odd stuff while in the floor in front of teachers) and wore really strange clothing, had to be told to not walk barefoot in school.

Won't likely work with most since he is tall and strong, but I've seen him effectively defend by hugging hard, at least for the first minute. Probably wouldn't work with more than 2 people.
 
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