I'm terrified but I also really wanna do this

[Rodafina]

Nice to read an update about your experience.

A break from the phone can be a really good thing, especially when it connects you with people with unkind things to say like your father.

I think it’s fair to expect a whole range of emotions as you go through this – especially in the beginning. It’s nice to know that the dogs will be there to take up your focus and attention.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

A break from the phone can be a really good thing, especially when it connects you with people with unkind things to say like your father.

I know that in theory. But in reality, in these situations I usually am terrified of what I might find on my phone next time I check. I shouldn't let it get to me so much, but often, it just does.

I think it’s fair to expect a whole range of emotions as you go through this – especially in the beginning.

Yes, that's true. It's just somewhat scary to know that no one apart from myself will be there to take care of those emotions as they happen.

 

[Mary Terry]

You'll settle in after a brief period of orientation. The job and location sound wonderful, so please enjoy it and learn as much as you can. Let us know how you're doing and what you're doing because you have bravely taken on a new adventure that most of us can only dream about.

Maybe your father is acting like a jerk because he is worried about you? Ignore him if you can.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

You'll settle in after a brief period of orientation. The job and location sound wonderful, so please enjoy it and learn as much as you can. Let us know how you're doing and what you're doing because you have bravely taken on a new adventure that most of us can only dream about.

Maybe your father is acting like a jerk because he is worried about you? Ignore him if you can.

Thanks, that's kind. I will be happy to update. For some reason, I feel especially drawn to the more shy, more uncertain dogs. It's such a special feeling when you just sit in their kennel and wait and at some point, they feel safe to approach you and let you touch them.

Yes, I am even sure that that's the reason. Nonetheless, it usually makes me feel like crap. I understand that he's worried, but he doesn't need to take it out in this manner.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I'm getting a bit more settled, getting used to the work and the dogs are also getting used to me. It still feels like the time might get long (I miss my partner), and I'm a bit nervous because right now there's another girl here with me who will leave next week, and then I will be by myself, which will mean more work, more me directly having to tell the owners if I need something, and more alone time than I have ever had before. But it will also be an experience, and so far, I am feeling alright overall. The dogs really are amazing - it's a paradise for every animal-lover.
And I'm way less overstimulated. It's so quiet outside (if the dogs aren't howling in your ears) and, apart from us, there's no one. I haven't had a meltdown so far (just a low a few days ago), and it doesn't feel like one's approaching. I think the time will get long sometimes, but it's doing me good to be here.

 

[Xinyta]

Glad to hear things are improving.

I can only imagine the fun there is in being around that many dogs. Though I know it more about the job, than fun. It's hard to not be like a happy kid on a sugar high, around dogs or other pets.

 

[Aspychata]

Excellent news to read here. We always assume the worst, and then it surprises us when it maybe something we enjoy.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I don't know if people are still reading, but I thought I'd post a little update.

Things are good, really. My worries about being by myself after that other girl left turned out to be unnecessary. We got along really well while she was here, but after she left and I was alone, I noticed just HOW exhausting that week had been. It took me 2 days to get settled into my being-alone-routine, but since then, I've been feeling a lot better, calmer. I often don't consciously notice if I mask in social settings, but if I feel completely drained and exhausted afterwards, then I guess that I was doing it.

I would send some dog pictures, but since they're not my dogs and I don't know if their owners would like them being on the internet, and since that would make me slightly more identifiable, I'd choose not to. Trust me, though, that they're adorable, and even the really scared ones are starting to trust me more. I'm already feeling sorry about having to leave them behind.

It still seems like a long time to go until I get to see my partner again, but I'm enjoying myself too. Getting more physically fit, with the daily work. And I'm definitely unwinding. I'm actually a bit worried about how it will be to get back to the big city after this. My brain will be SO angry at me. Like "what do you think you're doing, taking us back to this noisy hellhole?"

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I glad you are acting on your dream. It is okay to be somewhere with no outside connection.

I seek places that have no cell signal and no internet. There is a peace you can reach when you have to be on your own. It's okay to do that.

Please don't let your father ruin your experience. Take that awful Dad stuff and wrap it in a helium balloon and let it go. At least while you're where you want to be. Tell yourself you can ruminate about Dad when you get back home.,

Be in the experience of now. Enjoy the dogs. Listen and see if they have anything to teach you.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I thought that I'd write a closing post in this thread. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, and I'm really quite sad to leave the dogs, the cats and the place in general behind. I'm looking forward to going back home, but at the same time, it's really hard to leave.

This place is/was special. For the first time in ages, I only wore headphones when I was understimulated, instead of overstimulated (not counting the times when the dogs, during feeding times, acted like they hadn't been fed for weeks and did a howling concert). The sounds here are so nice - quietness, birds and water flowing (since all the snow is melting) - that I often don't even want to wear headphones but listen to the sounds.

The dogs (especially some of them) got a special place in my heart. It's crazy how loyal and loving animals can be. I liked the owners, too, but I'm honestly more sad about leaving the dogs. I have always been more emotional about animals than about people, though. And I'm healthier, both mentally and physically, from the work and from being outside so much, but also from the time by myself, the close contact with the dogs, and the break from everyday stress.

My family keeps saying that "it's time to get back to reality", and I keep wondering why for many people this doesn't count as reality. I don't mean doing this as a main business - I'm way better suited to be a doctor and a therapist - but why should it not be reality to live within such beautiful nature, in quietness and solitude (with a city within reach)? Why does "reality" have to mean living closely among other people, in a town or city, at least to other people who live that way?

I'll see where I end up one day. But thank you to all of you who encouraged me to do this. I really needed it. I just hope my battery won't be empty within only a few days of coming back to the big city. But I don't think that we'll stay there for much longer anyway.

 

[Jonn]

I don't know if people are still reading, but I thought I'd post a little update.

Nope.
I am not reading any of it.

 

[Rodafina]

Well done, @AuroraBorealis. What a great example of persevering through uncertainty and anxiety to have a unique, meaningful, and positive experience. I'm so happy that this was an overall success and that you will take so much from your experience as you go onward in your life.