I'm trying not to post my thoughts on Facebook or YouTube so much

[Misty Avich]

I'm really forcing myself not to post comments on public Facebook posts. The urge is overwhelming but the reactions I often get are nasty and gives me anxiety attacks. I don't know why I take such notice of what a stranger thinks online. I think it just looks like they don't have much of a conscience. Maybe they have the same impulses, although I'm glad I don't have any urges to attack or troll or insult people online for just posting a non-offensive comment. If I did I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I sometimes think about it but something just stops me because I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

But I get backlash for posting innocuous comments. Like yesterday I came across a Facebook post asking what we have learnt from the pandemic. I put a comment saying, "that masks don't protect you if you're wearing one, only other people if you're the one with a virus", and some callous dude had to reply with profanity implying that I'm selfish. So I just deleted my comment, which probably removed his comment along with it. Well at least it was gone from my end anyway. Erasing a harmful comment helps me to move on quicker without having an anxiety attack.

I'm glad you do have the option to delete your own comments on YouTube and Facebook, unlike on most forums where you have to go through the moderators to get a comment removed and sometimes they aren't sympathetic to requests of removing the offending comment even if it has caused you distress.

I do feel the internet has become more aggressive than it was 13-14 years ago. It would be nice if attacking a random stranger online for a harmless opinion was taboo of NT social standards, causing nobody to dare do it.

This reminds me of a garden we had at high school that kids weren't allowed to go on, and I think the teachers anticipated rebellion (kids going on there anyway to rebel). But funnily enough walking on the garden without permission was something that no kids done because a hidden rule had unconsciously conjured up among the herd that being seen on the garden without permission suggested you were "weird". So that was probably relieving for the staff. Lol

So I wish it was the same with online harassment. Lol

 

[Misery]

Probably a good thing.

I've done it myself as well. I dont use Facebook ever, but for Youtube I have a browser extension that just outright removes the comment section (and like 80% of the site, really). "Unhook", is what it's called.

These sites are designed to get you to do many things, one of which is indeed to dive into the land of stupid comments, because that is "engagement", so it's REALLY common for people to get sucked into that.

 

[Misty Avich]

Probably a good thing.

I've done it myself as well. I dont use Facebook ever, but for Youtube I have a browser extension that just outright removes the comment section (and like 80% of the site, really). "Unhook", is what it's called.

I just wish there was a way where I could post something on a public Facebook post but have replies to my comment disabled by anyone who aren't in my friends list. Knowing Facebook, that's probably not an available option. But it would crank down on bullying and racism and other offensive stuff like that.

These sites are designed to get you to do many things, one of which is indeed to dive into the land of stupid comments, because that is "engagement", so it's REALLY common for people to get sucked into that.

Yes, that's exactly my problem. I like doing it for engagement purposes, to express my thoughts. People have always liked doing this, even before the internet days. But now with the internet it's even easier to just post freely. And unfortunately many people abuse that privilege and have to be all snarky and rude.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Why I do not us social media.

 

[Ken]

I feel for you regarding your strong feeling to express yourself on Facebook. I have never had that feeling. So, in that regard I guess I am fortunate (I think?).

I never had any interest in Facebook or anything like it. I never needed Facebook to be ridiculed by others for sharing my thoughts. That has been the rule of my life, so I was always afraid of anything like Facebook.

This turns out to be the friendliest forum I have experienced, but even here I still get hurt. However, it's just a fraction of the hurt in the "real" world.

 

[Misty Avich]

I feel for you regarding your strong feeling to express yourself on Facebook. I have never had that feeling. So, in that regard I guess I am fortunate (I think?).

Yes, some people I know say they've never really gotten into the habit of impulse-posting, and I envy them.

I never had any interest in Facebook or anything like it. I never needed Facebook to be ridiculed by others for sharing my thoughts. That has been the rule of my life, so I was always afraid of anything like Facebook.

I didn't used to want Facebook but people kept asking me if I had Facebook (back in the day when WhatsApp and other things like that weren't around so much) and I felt I was missing out for not having Facebook. Then I signed up an account in 2011 and have been on it since. There are a lot of good points about Facebook and if I made myself not post on public posts any more then I wouldn't have such a bad time there.

This turns out to be the friendliest forum I have experienced, but even here I still get hurt. However, it's just a fraction of the hurt in the "real" world.

I find this forum safer to express myself than on Facebook or YouTube, but, like you, I have had bad times here too where I've been hurt, intimidated or shown up. I guess not everyone can be kind like us.

 

[blitzkrieg]

I have had a nightmare in the past on Facebook with trolls, gas-lighters, stalkers and other unsavoury characters. It is part of the reason why I left.

I consider it to be a toxic platform.

 

[Misty Avich]

I have had a nightmare in the past on Facebook with trolls, gas-lighters, stalkers and other unsavoury characters. It is part of the reason why I left.

I consider it to be a toxic platform.

I've never had issues in that regard, just with strangers really. I have my privacy settings activated but if a public post comes up on your feed and you comment on it it will be viewed by the public. That's the only issue I have on Facebook really, but being so I'm sensitive to personal attacks it gets to me more than it should.

 

[Masked Man]

I completely understand, I have mostly stopped posting anything on social media due to unnecessarily argumentative people. I've got no desire to argue non-stop with strangers or be attacked for stupid things.

 

[Misty Avich]

I completely understand, I have mostly stopped posting anything on social media due to unnecessarily argumentative people. I've got no desire to argue non-stop with strangers or be attacked for stupid things.

Yes, I think that is what they want you to do, to argue back with them so that they can find more ways to insult you. Sad really.

 

[Misty Avich]

I keep seeing people really running those with mental health problems down lately, on those Facebook posts. They shame people who don't work due to mental health and say things like "there weren't all these government support benefits 100 years ago, there weren't all these mental health illnesses 100 years ago, people these days are just weak and want something for nothing". I feel like telling them that 100 years ago one household could survive on one tenant's wages, so people with mental illness probably stayed at home and didn't come out of maybe it wasn't even known about back then but it doesn't mean it never existed. These days we're all forced to work whoever we are, which can generate more mental health issues among the population if work becomes too stressful (which usually businesses these days are all about the money rather than the wellbeing of their employees).

Or, if I was a nasty person, I'd comment on their posts calling them "ignorant bigots" or something, but I know that people have opinions and it's not my place to go storming about telling people how to think when I could just scroll past. They have as much right to post a comment as anyone and if it isn't what I agree with then I don't post anything that could hurt them.

 

[Masked Man]

You also have to consider that Facebook is full of bots. I always assume they are Russian bots personally and I never engage lol.

I'm just not interested. I can't be bothered to waste my time arguing with strangers. I have better things to do.

 

[blitzkrieg]

I keep seeing people really running those with mental health problems down lately, on those Facebook posts. They shame people who don't work due to mental health and say things like "there weren't all these government support benefits 100 years ago, there weren't all these mental health illnesses 100 years ago, people these days are just weak and want something for nothing". I feel like telling them that 100 years ago one household could survive on one tenant's wages, so people with mental illness probably stayed at home and didn't come out of maybe it wasn't even known about back then but it doesn't mean it never existed. These days we're all forced to work whoever we are, which can generate more mental health issues among the population if work becomes too stressful (which usually businesses these days are all about the money rather than the wellbeing of their employees).

Or, if I was a nasty person, I'd comment on their posts calling them "ignorant bigots" or something, but I know that people have opinions and it's not my place to go storming about telling people how to think when I could just scroll past. They have as much right to post a comment as anyone and if it isn't what I agree with then I don't post anything that could hurt them.

Work was often more simple and rote and relied more on physical stamina, rather than mental acuity, 'back in the day'. A lot of people with intellectual disabilities or learning difficulties or ASD folk would have been able to do repetitive, monotonous jobs, 100 years ago, without knowing they were autistic or had learning difficulties or were intellectually disabled, even if they were.

Aside from that, ASD in its current form is a lot more prevalent than it was 100 years ago and is probably not just more recognized, although that is a factor why there is increased recognition of ASD, also.

Never before has work/employment relied so much on communication and social skills in recent decades, which is exactly what folk with ASD struggle with and which is why we often struggle to maintain employment in the current day.

I guess the ignorant folk you talk about, who are making nasty comments about disabled employment - haven't really considered the issue in much depth?

 

[Misty Avich]

Work was often more simple and rote and relied more on physical stamina, rather than mental acuity, 'back in the day'. A lot of people with intellectual disabilities or learning difficulties or ASD folk would have been able to do repetitive, monotonous jobs, 100 years ago, without knowing they were autistic or had learning difficulties or were intellectually disabled, even if they were.

Aside from that, ASD in its current form is a lot more prevalent than it was 100 years ago and is probably not just more recognized, although that is a factor why there is increased recognition of ASD, also.

Never before has work/employment relied so much on communication and social skills in recent decades, which is exactly what folk with ASD struggle with and which is why we often struggle to maintain employment in the current day.

I guess the ignorant folk you talk about, who are making nasty comments about disabled employment - haven't really considered the issue in much depth?

I don't mind the social aspect of work, until you get people working there who look down on you for being "just a cleaning person" and start subtly bullying you for it.
It's just rules I can't stand, rules and competitiveness and greed of businesses.
I understand work was hard back in the day, but it was more physically hard rather than emotionally stressful. I'm not talking about the army or fighting in wars - although people did get traumatized from that but mental illness and anxiety just wasn't recognised or understood so much back then.

It's a bit like people saying "oh there was no homosexual people 100 years ago!" But clearly there was, just nobody really spoke about it and it was practically illegal to be gay. But nowadays being gay is out in the open and widely accepted and I'm glad people can feel more free to embrace their sexual orientation.
Same with mental illness, it's always existed but it just wasn't spoken about back then, and I bet many people did suffer with it and disabilities as well.

I guess people on social media like to vent about where their taxes are going, but I don't mind my taxes going towards disabled people.

 

[Misty Avich]

I believe in free speech, where people should be allowed to put a comment that isn't directly aimed at anyone, and shouldn't be shamed for it. But then when we say we prefer free speech we just get people using free speech as a means of bullying too. You can't win, many people see free speech in a very black and white way without considering the grey areas.

But anyway I won't go too much into this as it might morph into a political debate. I just feel restricted in what I can and can't post on social media platforms like Facebook because there are so many people out there who shamelessly belittle you for just commenting on something that's just a bit of fun or a chance to just have your say, stuff like that. I guess the other option is to grow a thick skin but I can't do that as I have a sensitive nature and I'm already rather kicked in the stomach from previous online bullying that went on on another forum.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Free speech is about the government and its people, liable is not free speech nor copyright this what you mean by grey area. Try yelling fire in a crowed building see how fast you get arrested, Debating versus discussing is where the nuance is.

 

[Misty Avich]

Free speech is about the government and its people, liable is not free speech nor copyright this what you mean by grey area. Try yelling fire in a crowed building see how fast you get arrested, Debating versus discussing is where the nuance is.

Yes, yelling "fire!" in a crowded building is just pointless and rebellious and intended to mislead and cause unnecessary distress. Posting an opinion non-aggressively on a social media platform is an entirely different thing.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We are on the same page, why I do not use social media other than this forum, or occasionally a professional forum in my area of expertise, most people are unable to discuss anything without turning it into a debate.

 

[Misery]

Yes, I think that is what they want you to do, to argue back with them so that they can find more ways to insult you. Sad really.

Generally, yes. It doesnt matter if you post a particular opinion in response to something one says, or if you post the exact opposite: many will still fire back at you with the opposite of whatever you posted, regardless of their own thoughts on the matter. Because convincing you of something, or expressing their own actual beliefs/thoughts, was never the point to begin with. They dont care about what you say. At all. They care only that you are riled up... nothing more.

One of my favorite quotes from an old movie gives the best advice: "The only winning move is not to play".

It really is rather sad, isnt it? I mean, I always think it must be quite the miserable existence, them being in such a state where the only thing that can lift their mood is putting others down.

Bloody tiresome in any case. I've been drastically reducing the amount of time I spend on the accursed internet, and watching... or hearing about... behavior like that from people just motivates me more. The more I push away from it, the more I wonder how I ever tolerated the whole thing to begin with.

 

[Misty Avich]

Generally, yes. It doesnt matter if you post a particular opinion in response to something one says, or if you post the exact opposite: many will still fire back at you with the opposite of whatever you posted, regardless of their own thoughts on the matter. Because convincing you of something, or expressing their own actual beliefs/thoughts, was never the point to begin with. They dont care about what you say. At all. They care only that you are riled up... nothing more.

Well it usually works with me lol, although I don't let them know. I just delete my comment.

One of my favorite quotes from an old movie gives the best advice: "The only winning move is not to play".

It really is rather sad, isnt it? I mean, I always think it must be quite the miserable existence, them being in such a state where the only thing that can lift their mood is putting others down.

It is sad. I mean, I have issues too, as many of you may have noticed, but I don't feel the need to go around the internet insulting people to make me feel good or whatever. What I do is offer kindness to people on Facebook and YouTube, because that makes me feel good. In fact I sort of get a twang of love because I really want to make another human being feel better about themselves and also know that not everyone on the internet is there to offer misery and hurt.

Bloody tiresome in any case. I've been drastically reducing the amount of time I spend on the accursed internet, and watching... or hearing about... behavior like that from people just motivates me more. The more I push away from it, the more I wonder how I ever tolerated the whole thing to begin with.

Yes, it's a pity good people like ourselves have to kind of avoid such things due to some people out there being mean. I have impulses but I'm glad I don't have impulses to be mean to others who don't deserve it.